6 ms·
Your spouse does not have a free pass, you and your spouse have agreed that the family has one of you working and one not. It doesn't require justification beyo
by shadowfiend 8y ago
Your spouse does not have a free pass, you and your spouse have agreed that the family has one of you working and one not. It doesn't require justification beyond that being the mutual agreement, and mutual agreement is how marriage moves forward through time.
Being married doesn't disqualify someone from the workforce, but not working for an extended period of time through the above mutual agreement does leave them with little work history, possibly reduced education, certainly reduced experience, etc. They made those decisions in the context of a reality that is changing due to divorce, and that change can have radical life results. As such, having a default agreement whereby that change is not abrupt and immediate is perfectly reasonable.
A prenuptial agreement modifies this by setting different expectations up front, and allowing everyone involved to adjust their decision-making process.
- poulsbohemian 8y agoI think you might be missing something that 01100011 experienced, which frankly sounds a lot like what happened in my case as well. My ex became very mentally ill and had no desire to do anything about it - because she knew that either I would suck it up and carry on for the good of the kids, or that in the case of a divorce that she would walk away with anything she wanted anyway. So she had no incentive to go back to work, to get out of bed, or to do anything at all. Your words sound much like multiple lawyers I consulted, that somehow it was my fault because I was complicit in not forcing her to work. And like 01100011 said, how the eff was I supposed to do that?
- Tomte 8y agoMental illness is obviously a whole different category. Would you also slam her as lazy if she got crippled in a car accident? Have you tried to get her help, in the form of therapy? That's actually what "in bad times" means. It's probably okay to discover you're not up to the task, but it's not okay to diss her on message boards.
- poulsbohemian 8y agoYou are using hyperbole and are reading into the discussion your own meaning. You are being deliberately insulting and using a personal attack, whereas both the parent poster and I experienced a similar behavior from our spouses and faced the same legal dilemma.
- Tomte 8y agoI'm taking your very literal expression "mentally ill" at face value, as I do your other words. I haven't assumed a single thing, nor have I been injecting "my own meaning". I'm sorry your marriage ended badly, I'm sure that can be very stressful. But the only insults here are yours.