Hi, I'm 41. Always in tech. Currently back in school for an Economics degree. I had 4 or so years where I was considered schizo-affective by my PCP and a Psych

Hi, I'm 41. Always in tech. Currently back in school for an Economics degree. I had 4 or so years where I was considered schizo-affective by my PCP and a Psychiatrist. I got better and it has been about 15 years since I have taken medication. My PCP eventually told me it was probably just an "episode" versus a "diagnosis". However, it caused my divorce and I too burned bridges. My advice: 1. Seek help, immediately. Your situation wont change if you don't. It will get worse. Professional help is very important and starts to give you a support system. 2. Can you get back to the United States? I assume you are a citizen and there should be a way for you to get into a facility to start getting help. 3. Start seeing your kid. It is clear you want to but are afraid/nervous since you want to "shield from the crazy". Perhaps seeing your kid will help you get some renewed energy. 4. Take a job that you can do. Even if it is working at Starbucks. Starbucks is accepting of all walks of life, provide benefits, usually starting pay is more than minimum wage and they embrace being an individual. Have fun with the job as you start to polish a resume, etc. 5. Start to learn slowly. You wont become an expert overnight. Practice, practice, practice. There are so many free resources. 6. Lastly. Believe in your self. Look in a mirror and realize the good. If you dont see any good. "Get a better mirror, look a little longer, stare a little harder." [0] Hang in there. [0] "To This Day" ... for the bullied and beautiful | Shane Koyczan (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa1iS1MqUy4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa1iS1MqUy4)