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I think it's interesting that so many here think tech meetups are the solution to loneliness. In part that's frustrating because I don't work in the tech indust

I think it's interesting that so many here think tech meetups are the solution to loneliness. In part that's frustrating because I don't work in the tech industry (programming is a hobby for me), but it's also seems strange because I don't particularly want to limit myself to meeting people who work in the same field. But here in LA, that unfortunately hasn't made things any easier for me. It's just really damn hard to start new relationships here. You need a reason to see someone more than once, and it's hard to establish that the first time you meet someone. I'm reminded of people who do the "if we're not in relationships at thirty, let's get married" thing. It seems absurd to most of us because it seems like you need an established romantic relationship. But maybe that's a mistake - maybe it's just as good to commit to making things work with someone you know you're compatible with. Likewise, I see people on the subway or bus looking at their phones, and I know many of them have to be lonely. It seems absurd for two lonely people to sit beside each other silently for half an hour. But maybe that's the problem: with modern technology we lack the pressure to create social bonds. If it's the 1930s I probably need to be on good terms with my neighbors. We're so independent now - I can even avoid interacting with a clerk if I want because people are willing to ship groceries to my door. What seems to be needed is a way for many of us to blindly push a button that says "commit", and get randomly matched up with a compatible group of friends. Is that the best way to form social bonds? Probably not, but it's so much better than what we have currently that to go on as we do seems like madness.

Gys 8y ago
> What seems to be needed is a way for many of us to blindly push a button that says "commit", and get randomly matched up with a compatible group of friends. There is an event starting in LA that might exactly do that [1]. At least in Lisbon, this works very well. Disclaimer: I co-organize in Lisbon and build the app for this. [1] https://www.meetup.com/LA-Digital-Nomads/events/254211266/ https://www.meetup.com/LA-Digital-Nomads/events/254211266/
pagnol 8y ago
> Likewise, I see people on the subway or bus looking at their phones, and I know many of them have to be lonely. For ages I only possessed a tattered slow Android phone which I only ever used to make phone calls or send the occasional WhatsApp message. Back then I used to feel the same way about people on the subway who were looking at their phones. For a few months now I’ve been having a brand new iPhone (it was a gift) and I have since discovered to my own amazement that it’s a pretty damn awesome reading device. My backpack used to be full of books which are now all on my phone. This experience has made me less judgemental when I look around on a train and see only people interacting with their phone. For all I know, they may be reading poetry or the latest machine learning papers. :)
- XorNot 8y ago
  It also presumes there's no possible way those people could in fact be communicating with friends and loved ones.
- zrobotics 8y ago
  Plus, think of all the people with their heads buried in a newspaper before the advent of the smartphone. Was that materially all that different?
Consultant32452 8y ago
https://www.macworld.com/article/2599242/5-apps-for-making-friends-in-a-new-city.html https://www.macworld.com/article/2599242/5-apps-for-making-f... There's a few options in there.
XorNot 8y ago
It seems like a mistake to assume that things were better in a previous time, when the world in general enthusiastically adopted the current technological situation. It didn't happen because people were happy with how things were.
- manmal 8y ago
  I guess we gained some, and lost some, as the saying goes.
- mk4p 8y ago
  That presumes that technology is consciously adopted; I'd argue that we're also at the mercy of how our minds react to certain technologies. People aren't always glued to their smartphones by choice, or because they were less happy before.
- badpun 8y ago
  People often don't know what's good and what's bad for them - ex. people have also enthusiastically adopted cigarettes.
mikestaub 8y ago
I agree with everything you said. I decided to try solving the problem with a new type of social network, feel free to sign up for the beta: https://peapods.com https://peapods.com

Gys 8y ago

> What seems to be needed is a way for many of us to blindly push a button that says "commit", and get randomly matched up with a compatible group of friends. There is an event starting in LA that might exactly do that [1]. At least in Lisbon, this works very well. Disclaimer: I co-organize in Lisbon and build the app for this. [1] https://www.meetup.com/LA-Digital-Nomads/events/254211266/ https://www.meetup.com/LA-Digital-Nomads/events/254211266/

pagnol 8y ago

> Likewise, I see people on the subway or bus looking at their phones, and I know many of them have to be lonely. For ages I only possessed a tattered slow Android phone which I only ever used to make phone calls or send the occasional WhatsApp message. Back then I used to feel the same way about people on the subway who were looking at their phones. For a few months now I’ve been having a brand new iPhone (it was a gift) and I have since discovered to my own amazement that it’s a pretty damn awesome reading device. My backpack used to be full of books which are now all on my phone. This experience has made me less judgemental when I look around on a train and see only people interacting with their phone. For all I know, they may be reading poetry or the latest machine learning papers. :)

XorNot 8y ago
It also presumes there's no possible way those people could in fact be communicating with friends and loved ones.
zrobotics 8y ago
Plus, think of all the people with their heads buried in a newspaper before the advent of the smartphone. Was that materially all that different?

Consultant32452 8y ago

https://www.macworld.com/article/2599242/5-apps-for-making-friends-in-a-new-city.html https://www.macworld.com/article/2599242/5-apps-for-making-f... There's a few options in there.

XorNot 8y ago

It seems like a mistake to assume that things were better in a previous time, when the world in general enthusiastically adopted the current technological situation. It didn't happen because people were happy with how things were.

manmal 8y ago
I guess we gained some, and lost some, as the saying goes.
mk4p 8y ago
That presumes that technology is consciously adopted; I'd argue that we're also at the mercy of how our minds react to certain technologies. People aren't always glued to their smartphones by choice, or because they were less happy before.
badpun 8y ago
People often don't know what's good and what's bad for them - ex. people have also enthusiastically adopted cigarettes.

mikestaub 8y ago

I agree with everything you said. I decided to try solving the problem with a new type of social network, feel free to sign up for the beta: https://peapods.com https://peapods.com