5 ms·

> I am routinely met with open hostility from self proclaimed trans activists, feminists, etc. Hostility towards what? I assume they attack a view you hold, ra

> I am routinely met with open hostility from self proclaimed trans activists, feminists, etc. Hostility towards what? I assume they attack a view you hold, rather than your being a stay-at-home mother.

DoreenMichele 8y ago
Oh, lots of different things. As best I can tell, the hostility is towards me personally, not a specific view per se. I've been accused on HN of being transphobic for attempting to speak about women's issues. I don't really care to dig up a whole lot of examples to convince skeptics. I was homeless for nearly 6 years and only asking for help with trying to figure out how to make money online. I got damn little support and was actively dismissed, especially on a different forum that likes to imagine it is female friendly. I don't think it really is. Anyway, those painful experiences made it quite clear to me that a lot of people literally would like to see me dead. I'm aware that callous indifference isn't something most people will take seriously as a form of attempted murder, so I don't actually want to talk about this. Additional hostile dismissal of my opinions of my experiences won't change my opinions and, ironically, are unlikely to be seen as supporting evidence for my point.
- thomasfedb 8y ago
  So you think an online community that knows you only by handle is personal hostile towards you for some reason other than your expressed views?
  - ppseafield 8y ago
    That's a little bit uncharitable, right? "Expressed Views" are interpreted by the people that read them. Plenty of people online mistakenly infer things in other people's posts and attack that instead. Or they imagine that the poster probably holds another position (which they may or may not) and attack that.
  - DoreenMichele 8y ago
    I post as openly female. Women generally have a much harder time online than men. I was homeless for a long time and open about that. Plenty of people were openly contemptuous. Sexism and classism are alive and well. They impact social behavior online as well as off.
- fit2rule 8y ago
  FWIW, I'm a manly-man, and I routinely attract aggression from non-cis folks because I've had kids and enjoy being a Dad. I think this is just par for the course, personally - if people did like having kids and being 'traditional' in their family future, they wouldn't be non-cis...
  - DoreenMichele 8y ago
    I've got one word for you: Hypocrisy. I spent 9 months being extremely supportive of a MtF trans youth in crisis who expected and demanded that I be totally accepting of who and what they were. Then they had a cow and shit all over me for mentioning that "pretty boys" weren't my cup of tea and reamed me out about how that's prejudice. So their preferences and predilections must be unquestioningly validated. Mine? Just another BS excuse for the individual to heap more verbal abuse on me. We eventually parted company. Last I heard, they are still telling lies about me to other people. That's absolutely not the inclusiveness that so many people claim they want. It's hypocrisy. What they really want is to preserve the Lord Of The Flies pecking order where people on top get to shit all over people on bottom, but they want to be the people shitting on others, not the people being shit on. It's not actually an attempt to create some lovely egalitarian society. It's more like a desire for revenge and that revenge is frequently aimed at individuals who didn't actually harm them.
    - mclehman 8y ago
      What was the context for your "pretty boys" comment? Was it referring to MtF individuals or to men not conforming to traditional gender roles RE: their appearance?
      - deleted 8y ago
        [deleted]
      - DoreenMichele 8y ago
        Neither. We were most likely discussing someone who is a member of Hacker News that she wanted to encourage me to marry, never mind that she believed he was married to someone else (according to him at the time, he wasn't married, but he is a family man). So, basically, admitting that I didn't find him repulsive was a good excuse to heap verbal abuse on me. Par for the course for the relationship. There was no means for me to do anything right. Out of respect for innocent bystanders, such as his children (including one that likely reads Hacker News), I don't want to discuss this any further.
acct1771 8y ago
I read it as hostility toward her being in a "traditional gender role".

DoreenMichele 8y ago

Oh, lots of different things. As best I can tell, the hostility is towards me personally, not a specific view per se. I've been accused on HN of being transphobic for attempting to speak about women's issues. I don't really care to dig up a whole lot of examples to convince skeptics. I was homeless for nearly 6 years and only asking for help with trying to figure out how to make money online. I got damn little support and was actively dismissed, especially on a different forum that likes to imagine it is female friendly. I don't think it really is. Anyway, those painful experiences made it quite clear to me that a lot of people literally would like to see me dead. I'm aware that callous indifference isn't something most people will take seriously as a form of attempted murder, so I don't actually want to talk about this. Additional hostile dismissal of my opinions of my experiences won't change my opinions and, ironically, are unlikely to be seen as supporting evidence for my point.

thomasfedb 8y ago
So you think an online community that knows you only by handle is personal hostile towards you for some reason other than your expressed views?
- ppseafield 8y ago
  That's a little bit uncharitable, right? "Expressed Views" are interpreted by the people that read them. Plenty of people online mistakenly infer things in other people's posts and attack that instead. Or they imagine that the poster probably holds another position (which they may or may not) and attack that.
- DoreenMichele 8y ago
  I post as openly female. Women generally have a much harder time online than men. I was homeless for a long time and open about that. Plenty of people were openly contemptuous. Sexism and classism are alive and well. They impact social behavior online as well as off.
fit2rule 8y ago
FWIW, I'm a manly-man, and I routinely attract aggression from non-cis folks because I've had kids and enjoy being a Dad. I think this is just par for the course, personally - if people did like having kids and being 'traditional' in their family future, they wouldn't be non-cis...
- DoreenMichele 8y ago
  I've got one word for you: Hypocrisy. I spent 9 months being extremely supportive of a MtF trans youth in crisis who expected and demanded that I be totally accepting of who and what they were. Then they had a cow and shit all over me for mentioning that "pretty boys" weren't my cup of tea and reamed me out about how that's prejudice. So their preferences and predilections must be unquestioningly validated. Mine? Just another BS excuse for the individual to heap more verbal abuse on me. We eventually parted company. Last I heard, they are still telling lies about me to other people. That's absolutely not the inclusiveness that so many people claim they want. It's hypocrisy. What they really want is to preserve the Lord Of The Flies pecking order where people on top get to shit all over people on bottom, but they want to be the people shitting on others, not the people being shit on. It's not actually an attempt to create some lovely egalitarian society. It's more like a desire for revenge and that revenge is frequently aimed at individuals who didn't actually harm them.
  - mclehman 8y ago
    What was the context for your "pretty boys" comment? Was it referring to MtF individuals or to men not conforming to traditional gender roles RE: their appearance?
    - deleted 8y ago
      [deleted]
    - DoreenMichele 8y ago
      Neither. We were most likely discussing someone who is a member of Hacker News that she wanted to encourage me to marry, never mind that she believed he was married to someone else (according to him at the time, he wasn't married, but he is a family man). So, basically, admitting that I didn't find him repulsive was a good excuse to heap verbal abuse on me. Par for the course for the relationship. There was no means for me to do anything right. Out of respect for innocent bystanders, such as his children (including one that likely reads Hacker News), I don't want to discuss this any further.

acct1771 8y ago

I read it as hostility toward her being in a "traditional gender role".