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Ask HN: How do I learn how to handle feelings and problems

Feelings are new to me for reasons not relevant to the question. I am talking about feelings in the spectrum that aren't near rage, ecstasy or depression. There are many more feelings to be felt out there. Frustration, jealousy, envy, disappointment, hurt by someone else's words, disagreements. There are other more complex combinations of feelings I haven't mentioned because I have not yet learned to recognize and identify them. My question is relate to a problem in a relationship. I'm stuck right now in either total submission or over the top explosive reaction. I won't do the latter again. Is there a resource or resources that can enable me to learn enough about the variations of feelings to identify and understand them. Following that, how can I identify, address and resolve problems I have with other people either doing or not doing things I want. That includes dealing with someone not willing to change their behavior. In that case only I can change my perspective but I'm not sure how to do that either. I sure wish there was an O'Reilly book on this.

cimmanom 8y ago
Have you considered therapy. Some forms of therapy will help you develop better awareness of and coping mechanisms for negative feelings as well as cognitive tools for dealing calmly with uncomfortable interpersonal situations.
bartcobain 8y ago
The first resource that pop to my mind is Headspace, the mindfulness app. It will help you to learn how to be calm. You don't need to buy any package, really. IMO it's just a scam that helps to calm you down and get your work done. You just need to learn how to breathe, not to get your work done as a corporation robot but to "read yourself", your feelings; that's why you don't to pay anybody to teach you how to breathe. Okay, back to the tracks. Second, talk with your partner, talk about your feelings and the feelings of your partner. In my experience most of the times the frustration is because of misunderstood stuff. Third, keep a journal about your feelings. It will really help.

cimmanom 8y ago

Have you considered therapy. Some forms of therapy will help you develop better awareness of and coping mechanisms for negative feelings as well as cognitive tools for dealing calmly with uncomfortable interpersonal situations.

bartcobain 8y ago

The first resource that pop to my mind is Headspace, the mindfulness app. It will help you to learn how to be calm. You don't need to buy any package, really. IMO it's just a scam that helps to calm you down and get your work done. You just need to learn how to breathe, not to get your work done as a corporation robot but to "read yourself", your feelings; that's why you don't to pay anybody to teach you how to breathe. Okay, back to the tracks. Second, talk with your partner, talk about your feelings and the feelings of your partner. In my experience most of the times the frustration is because of misunderstood stuff. Third, keep a journal about your feelings. It will really help.