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> First, stop thinking of yourself as mentally damaged. You're normal I think it's unhelpful to assert things like that when we don't have enough information f

> First, stop thinking of yourself as mentally damaged. You're normal I think it's unhelpful to assert things like that when we don't have enough information for making definitive statements. Perhaps they do have some genuine and serious issues? We can't know just from the description given. If they do then acting like they don't isn't very helpful.

elmerfud 8y ago
Like many of the other commenters, my point was that labeling yourself as broken and assuming the victim mindset is what's unhelpful. Everyone has issues, literally everyone and understanding that it's normal and not what defines you is what's important. This allows you to acknowledge, embrace, and seek help if needed.
- jamesrcole 8y ago
  But you don't know this person's history or current state! You are just assuming it is mere labelling. You're also assuming that if someone says they are mentally broken they are taking a victim mindset. If someone says they have 20 broken bones and cannot walk is that taking a victim mindset, or might it just be an objectively description independent of their mindset? Just because everyone has issues does not mean that everyone has the same magnitude of issues. Some people really do have it far worse than others.
  - hndamien 8y ago
    Sometimes it is just the perception that they have it worse than others, or worse than where they would rather be. This is all that matters really.
    - jamesrcole 8y ago
      That's not an excuse for saying they're normal and therefore denying what they might actually be going through. I find it amazing the double standards when it comes to physical vs mental problems. No one asserts to a quadriplegic that their physical circumstances are "normal". No one treats a quadriplegic who says they're quadriplegic as, because of saying this, having an attitude problem.
      - hndamien 8y ago
        I wasn't saying that therefore they don't have mental problems, I was saying that due to this, therefore they do. For reference, I am going through something similar that to an outsider they would see something that looked like a wonderfully fortuitous event, but my personal experience of it pushed me into a deep depression.
        jamesrcole 8y ago
        > I wasn't saying that therefore they don't have mental problems, I was saying that due to this, therefore they do. I don't understand what you're saying -- what does the "this" refer to? I'm also a bit unclear on where your coming from, because my comment about calling someone normal is referring to someone else's statement, not yours.
  - elmerfud 8y ago
    Obviously the original poster seems to agree with the many people advising not to take the victim mindset as the title has been changed. Describing yourself as "damaged" is the victim label word choice, not an objective medical mental state term. Only later was it mentioned as anhedonia. The damaged description has been changed to depression to describe a condition not a label. No where did I suggest that they should just "get over" depression or their anhedonia. It's that they should not allow those things to define them as damaged. I can't tell if you're intentionally misunderstanding or if you really don't get the difference. To compare a literal medical condition (20 broken bones) with a non-medical label (mentally damaged) seems as it could be either. Any perceived double standards on mental vs physical care is only in your head. Proper labeling of any condition for both the doctor and the patient is critical. If you suffer massive trama (such as your broken bones) and allow the label of cripple to define you, that's what you'll be. It is normal for everyone in life to encounter challenges. Be they physical or mental. To have a view that your physical or mental condition is special or somehow makes you not normal does a great disservice to yourself. You seem very talented at reading words that do not exist and telling people they assume things when most everything you've written is an assumption. It may be time to look up "objective" vs "subjective". It's not helpful to the discussion to put words in people's mouth.
    - jamesrcole 8y ago
      I'm was talking about a comment made before any of those changes, where that comment was making assumptions. I'm also saying that you can't assume that what is there in the OPs post or comments tells the full story. You don't seem to understand that someone can actually be in a severely bad mental state (as if a label being "non-medical" somehow means such a state cannot exist). You are assuming that no claims of such can be objectively accurate -- that they can only be allowing oneself to be defined in a certain way, and can only be expressions of mindset or attitude.
    - deleted 8y ago
      [deleted]
- petecooper 8y ago
  >my point was that labeling yourself as broken and assuming the victim mindset is what's unhelpful. For clarity, and for my own benefit of writing it down -- I don't have a victim mentality, at least there's no perception of one. I'm certainly not out to blame anyone or create drama. The background anhedonia/depression has normalised it, certainly -- my circle of friends is small and carefully selected, so I don't have many yardsticks to measure against -- but I like to think I'm glass half-full, most of the time.
  - chris_wot 8y ago
    Perfect normality is one of the stranger outliers humanity exhibits.

elmerfud 8y ago

Like many of the other commenters, my point was that labeling yourself as broken and assuming the victim mindset is what's unhelpful. Everyone has issues, literally everyone and understanding that it's normal and not what defines you is what's important. This allows you to acknowledge, embrace, and seek help if needed.

jamesrcole 8y ago
But you don't know this person's history or current state! You are just assuming it is mere labelling. You're also assuming that if someone says they are mentally broken they are taking a victim mindset. If someone says they have 20 broken bones and cannot walk is that taking a victim mindset, or might it just be an objectively description independent of their mindset? Just because everyone has issues does not mean that everyone has the same magnitude of issues. Some people really do have it far worse than others.
- hndamien 8y ago
  Sometimes it is just the perception that they have it worse than others, or worse than where they would rather be. This is all that matters really.
  - jamesrcole 8y ago
    That's not an excuse for saying they're normal and therefore denying what they might actually be going through. I find it amazing the double standards when it comes to physical vs mental problems. No one asserts to a quadriplegic that their physical circumstances are "normal". No one treats a quadriplegic who says they're quadriplegic as, because of saying this, having an attitude problem.
    - hndamien 8y ago
      I wasn't saying that therefore they don't have mental problems, I was saying that due to this, therefore they do. For reference, I am going through something similar that to an outsider they would see something that looked like a wonderfully fortuitous event, but my personal experience of it pushed me into a deep depression.
      - jamesrcole 8y ago
        > I wasn't saying that therefore they don't have mental problems, I was saying that due to this, therefore they do. I don't understand what you're saying -- what does the "this" refer to? I'm also a bit unclear on where your coming from, because my comment about calling someone normal is referring to someone else's statement, not yours.
- elmerfud 8y ago
  Obviously the original poster seems to agree with the many people advising not to take the victim mindset as the title has been changed. Describing yourself as "damaged" is the victim label word choice, not an objective medical mental state term. Only later was it mentioned as anhedonia. The damaged description has been changed to depression to describe a condition not a label. No where did I suggest that they should just "get over" depression or their anhedonia. It's that they should not allow those things to define them as damaged. I can't tell if you're intentionally misunderstanding or if you really don't get the difference. To compare a literal medical condition (20 broken bones) with a non-medical label (mentally damaged) seems as it could be either. Any perceived double standards on mental vs physical care is only in your head. Proper labeling of any condition for both the doctor and the patient is critical. If you suffer massive trama (such as your broken bones) and allow the label of cripple to define you, that's what you'll be. It is normal for everyone in life to encounter challenges. Be they physical or mental. To have a view that your physical or mental condition is special or somehow makes you not normal does a great disservice to yourself. You seem very talented at reading words that do not exist and telling people they assume things when most everything you've written is an assumption. It may be time to look up "objective" vs "subjective". It's not helpful to the discussion to put words in people's mouth.
  - jamesrcole 8y ago
    I'm was talking about a comment made before any of those changes, where that comment was making assumptions. I'm also saying that you can't assume that what is there in the OPs post or comments tells the full story. You don't seem to understand that someone can actually be in a severely bad mental state (as if a label being "non-medical" somehow means such a state cannot exist). You are assuming that no claims of such can be objectively accurate -- that they can only be allowing oneself to be defined in a certain way, and can only be expressions of mindset or attitude.
  - deleted 8y ago
    [deleted]
petecooper 8y ago
>my point was that labeling yourself as broken and assuming the victim mindset is what's unhelpful. For clarity, and for my own benefit of writing it down -- I don't have a victim mentality, at least there's no perception of one. I'm certainly not out to blame anyone or create drama. The background anhedonia/depression has normalised it, certainly -- my circle of friends is small and carefully selected, so I don't have many yardsticks to measure against -- but I like to think I'm glass half-full, most of the time.
- chris_wot 8y ago
  Perfect normality is one of the stranger outliers humanity exhibits.