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First, stop thinking of yourself as mentally damaged. You're normal. If by the time you're 30-40 and you haven't realized that all new things that you encount

First, stop thinking of yourself as mentally damaged. You're normal. If by the time you're 30-40 and you haven't realized that all new things that you encounter will eventually go away, then you're mentally damaged. It's a normal transition from shortsighted childishness to farsighted maturity. You're in the prime of your life. You're at a stage where you have skills and experience to do lots of things and make decent money. Your job may be boring as hell, but view your job as a tool. It something that gives you the means to do what you want. That is the hard part, figuring out what you want. Ultimately contentment comes from within but it's easier to have with the correct external forces supporting you. Things at this point in your life should be easier to achieve, not because they are in fact easier because often time they are more difficult tasks, but because you have years of experience knowing that you can overcome any obstacle placed in your path. I'm 45 and can relate to much of what you've said. I wish I had time to write more, but you really are in your prime. Do want you need to do so you can do what you want to do. Those two things should be very balanced at this point in your life, whereas when you're younger you're always doing the needs and you never have time to think about your wants.

jamesrcole 8y ago
> First, stop thinking of yourself as mentally damaged. You're normal I think it's unhelpful to assert things like that when we don't have enough information for making definitive statements. Perhaps they do have some genuine and serious issues? We can't know just from the description given. If they do then acting like they don't isn't very helpful.
- elmerfud 8y ago
  Like many of the other commenters, my point was that labeling yourself as broken and assuming the victim mindset is what's unhelpful. Everyone has issues, literally everyone and understanding that it's normal and not what defines you is what's important. This allows you to acknowledge, embrace, and seek help if needed.
  - jamesrcole 8y ago
    But you don't know this person's history or current state! You are just assuming it is mere labelling. You're also assuming that if someone says they are mentally broken they are taking a victim mindset. If someone says they have 20 broken bones and cannot walk is that taking a victim mindset, or might it just be an objectively description independent of their mindset? Just because everyone has issues does not mean that everyone has the same magnitude of issues. Some people really do have it far worse than others.
    - hndamien 8y ago
      Sometimes it is just the perception that they have it worse than others, or worse than where they would rather be. This is all that matters really.
      - jamesrcole 8y ago
        That's not an excuse for saying they're normal and therefore denying what they might actually be going through. I find it amazing the double standards when it comes to physical vs mental problems. No one asserts to a quadriplegic that their physical circumstances are "normal". No one treats a quadriplegic who says they're quadriplegic as, because of saying this, having an attitude problem.
        hndamien 8y ago
        I wasn't saying that therefore they don't have mental problems, I was saying that due to this, therefore they do. For reference, I am going through something similar that to an outsider they would see something that looked like a wonderfully fortuitous event, but my personal experience of it pushed me into a deep depression.
        jamesrcole 8y ago
        > I wasn't saying that therefore they don't have mental problems, I was saying that due to this, therefore they do. I don't understand what you're saying -- what does the "this" refer to? I'm also a bit unclear on where your coming from, because my comment about calling someone normal is referring to someone else's statement, not yours.
petecooper 8y ago
Thank you. I read your reply 5 or so hours ago and had to go to a meeting, hence my delay in reply. I've re-read it another three times. My assertion of mental damage is was perhaps badly phrased. Yes, it's a sliding scale, and the more people I meet, the more I understand most people have their demons…some will admit to them, others won't. Not wanting to backpedal, but my choice of words wasn't ideal Also, I noticed someone (not me) had changed the title to "[…] and have anhedonia.", and currently it's "[…] and have depression." I'm fine with either, both or all three, but clearly I've tripped a filter and someone's had to step in. Semantics aside, I really appreciate your reply - thank you very much.

jamesrcole 8y ago

> First, stop thinking of yourself as mentally damaged. You're normal I think it's unhelpful to assert things like that when we don't have enough information for making definitive statements. Perhaps they do have some genuine and serious issues? We can't know just from the description given. If they do then acting like they don't isn't very helpful.

elmerfud 8y ago
Like many of the other commenters, my point was that labeling yourself as broken and assuming the victim mindset is what's unhelpful. Everyone has issues, literally everyone and understanding that it's normal and not what defines you is what's important. This allows you to acknowledge, embrace, and seek help if needed.
- jamesrcole 8y ago
  But you don't know this person's history or current state! You are just assuming it is mere labelling. You're also assuming that if someone says they are mentally broken they are taking a victim mindset. If someone says they have 20 broken bones and cannot walk is that taking a victim mindset, or might it just be an objectively description independent of their mindset? Just because everyone has issues does not mean that everyone has the same magnitude of issues. Some people really do have it far worse than others.
  - hndamien 8y ago
    Sometimes it is just the perception that they have it worse than others, or worse than where they would rather be. This is all that matters really.
    - jamesrcole 8y ago
      That's not an excuse for saying they're normal and therefore denying what they might actually be going through. I find it amazing the double standards when it comes to physical vs mental problems. No one asserts to a quadriplegic that their physical circumstances are "normal". No one treats a quadriplegic who says they're quadriplegic as, because of saying this, having an attitude problem.
      - hndamien 8y ago
        I wasn't saying that therefore they don't have mental problems, I was saying that due to this, therefore they do. For reference, I am going through something similar that to an outsider they would see something that looked like a wonderfully fortuitous event, but my personal experience of it pushed me into a deep depression.
        jamesrcole 8y ago
        > I wasn't saying that therefore they don't have mental problems, I was saying that due to this, therefore they do. I don't understand what you're saying -- what does the "this" refer to? I'm also a bit unclear on where your coming from, because my comment about calling someone normal is referring to someone else's statement, not yours.

petecooper 8y ago

Thank you. I read your reply 5 or so hours ago and had to go to a meeting, hence my delay in reply. I've re-read it another three times. My assertion of mental damage is was perhaps badly phrased. Yes, it's a sliding scale, and the more people I meet, the more I understand most people have their demons…some will admit to them, others won't. Not wanting to backpedal, but my choice of words wasn't ideal Also, I noticed someone (not me) had changed the title to "[…] and have anhedonia.", and currently it's "[…] and have depression." I'm fine with either, both or all three, but clearly I've tripped a filter and someone's had to step in. Semantics aside, I really appreciate your reply - thank you very much.