5 ms·

I’d think an engineer and surgeon could hire a housemaid to help out with the cooking. In the USA, it’d be a household income of > $600k. I saw a documentary

I’d think an engineer and surgeon could hire a housemaid to help out with the cooking. In the USA, it’d be a household income of > $600k. I saw a documentary a few years ago. The woman cooked breakfast, then after the husband left, immediately started lunch. Brought lunch to the husband in a stacked lunch-pail, them immediately started with dinner. They cooked all day; crazy. Of course Indian food takes a long time to make well. I don’t know how they do it in restaurants. It takes me three hours.

skynetv2 8y ago
I dont know why you are down voted but this is true. They should be easily able to afford a cook & a maid. Doctors earn well in India. People with less prestigious and less salary have cooks and maids. My guess is this is a narrative. I am not saying she didnt have two jobs (house work & office work), but the article paints a slightly tainted picture. It is also possible that this family did not choose to have a cook, which is also not uncommon. Especially if they are of certain cultural groups, they have strict rules on such things. regardless, you have a good point. its the choice they made and it is impressive to pull this off
ceejayoz 8y ago
"Could financially" doesn't necessarily mean it's socially acceptable.
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
- horsecaptin 8y ago
  It is socially acceptable in India to hire help for cooking and cleaning. It is much less socially acceptable in India to hire help raising the kids.
DoreenMichele 8y ago
In the USA, parents don't typically arrange an adult daughter's marriage without asking her what she thinks either. (She also was living with extended family, a thing Americans tend to not do either. In America, we default to the nuclear family. When it began with saying she was cooking for 8 people, I assumed she had many children. Not so.) Also, she liked to cook and if you are a woman and have a career, doing things like cooking is a way to bond with family. If you hire a cook, a maid and a nanny, you spend vastly less time with your children. I was a full time mom for years. I can't imagine having kids and then just hiring other people to do everything for them. If you want nothing to do with your kids, I feel like you shouldn't intentionally have kids. (Though, unlike some people, I realize that not all children are planned. So sometimes people are just coping as best they can with what life handed them.)
- nonamechicken 8y ago
  >In the USA, parents don't typically arrange an adult daughter's marriage without asking her what she thinks either. Same in India also. Arranged marriage doesn't mean forced marriage. It's unfortunate people have this perception. Even in arranged marriage, men and women agree for marriage only if they are ok.
  - bluGill 8y ago
    At least the ones I have talked to understand that you don't refuse. It might be possible, but it isn't done. Of course India is a big country with a lot of people. Their culture is not completely shared. To state anything in absolute terms is probably wrong.
    - sseth 8y ago
      Everything you say about India is true, and its opposite. For the record, i can safely say that arranged marriages without the couple even meeting were common in my parents generation upto the 60s, became unusual in my generation (I don't know of any case in my family) around the 80s/90s and now would be unimaginable in my children's generation. This is a mostly (but not completely) urban middle class experience, spanning a very large family in north and west of India. Things are different in the North vs the South, rural vs urban, poor and rich, different religions probably and so on. We are probably the most heterogenous society on earth, so this is not surprising.
  - wtmt 8y ago
    > Arranged marriage doesn't mean forced marriage. It's unfortunate people have this perception. Even in arranged marriage, men and women agree for marriage only if they are ok. I don't understand this indignation followed by a generalization. For the record, I'm Indian and have lived for decades here. What you say may probably be true in urban India, depending on the family, education levels of the woman and the parents, economic class, religion, caste and several other factors. But even in urban India, adult women don't have much say in refusing to marry a man whom their parents have decided is the best match. If you look at rural India, it's likely a lot worse. A woman agreeing to marry a man doesn't mean that she's voluntarily choosing to do so after doing her own "due diligence" and checking if this match would support the kind of life she desires or dreams to lead. Most of the time, the man and woman get to talk to each other for a very short while, almost like a job interview, after which they're expected to decide on the "yes" or "no", if such a choice is even available. The fact that divorce is looked at as a disgusting matter combined with this decision making process is a big bummer. But I will give credit to the social support structure to keeping things running (though sometimes to the detriment of individuals). The same matter is a lot different for the men involved. As with many other instances and places around the world, the men do have more freedom and choice. P.S.: For a funny take on marriages in India, watch this movie from 1998 called "Hyderabad Blues". [1] Most of it still holds true now. [1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyderabad_Blues https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyderabad_Blues
overcast 8y ago
In my experience, having dated legit Indian women, housemaids are extremely common. Even low income families, had someone of even lower income working for them. Having food cooked for you by someone else is very much a norm for a lot of Indians.
- seeyes 8y ago
  >very much a norm for a lot of Indians Not at all true.
  - redindian 8y ago
    It is :) 70-80% of the middle class homes have daily part time maids. At least they do dishes, wash clothes then move to the next home. Not all maids cook or allowed to cook.
shrikant 8y ago
3 hours? I think it might be matter of practice. It takes my partner and I about 30-40 mins to cook a full Indian dinner for the two of us from scratch, these days. I remember it used to take about 80-90 mins when we were less coordinated in the kitchen, but nowadays we've got a pretty smooth supply chain going!

skynetv2 8y ago

I dont know why you are down voted but this is true. They should be easily able to afford a cook & a maid. Doctors earn well in India. People with less prestigious and less salary have cooks and maids. My guess is this is a narrative. I am not saying she didnt have two jobs (house work & office work), but the article paints a slightly tainted picture. It is also possible that this family did not choose to have a cook, which is also not uncommon. Especially if they are of certain cultural groups, they have strict rules on such things. regardless, you have a good point. its the choice they made and it is impressive to pull this off

ceejayoz 8y ago

"Could financially" doesn't necessarily mean it's socially acceptable.

deleted 8y ago
[deleted]
horsecaptin 8y ago
It is socially acceptable in India to hire help for cooking and cleaning. It is much less socially acceptable in India to hire help raising the kids.

DoreenMichele 8y ago

In the USA, parents don't typically arrange an adult daughter's marriage without asking her what she thinks either. (She also was living with extended family, a thing Americans tend to not do either. In America, we default to the nuclear family. When it began with saying she was cooking for 8 people, I assumed she had many children. Not so.) Also, she liked to cook and if you are a woman and have a career, doing things like cooking is a way to bond with family. If you hire a cook, a maid and a nanny, you spend vastly less time with your children. I was a full time mom for years. I can't imagine having kids and then just hiring other people to do everything for them. If you want nothing to do with your kids, I feel like you shouldn't intentionally have kids. (Though, unlike some people, I realize that not all children are planned. So sometimes people are just coping as best they can with what life handed them.)

nonamechicken 8y ago
>In the USA, parents don't typically arrange an adult daughter's marriage without asking her what she thinks either. Same in India also. Arranged marriage doesn't mean forced marriage. It's unfortunate people have this perception. Even in arranged marriage, men and women agree for marriage only if they are ok.
- bluGill 8y ago
  At least the ones I have talked to understand that you don't refuse. It might be possible, but it isn't done. Of course India is a big country with a lot of people. Their culture is not completely shared. To state anything in absolute terms is probably wrong.
  - sseth 8y ago
    Everything you say about India is true, and its opposite. For the record, i can safely say that arranged marriages without the couple even meeting were common in my parents generation upto the 60s, became unusual in my generation (I don't know of any case in my family) around the 80s/90s and now would be unimaginable in my children's generation. This is a mostly (but not completely) urban middle class experience, spanning a very large family in north and west of India. Things are different in the North vs the South, rural vs urban, poor and rich, different religions probably and so on. We are probably the most heterogenous society on earth, so this is not surprising.
- wtmt 8y ago
  > Arranged marriage doesn't mean forced marriage. It's unfortunate people have this perception. Even in arranged marriage, men and women agree for marriage only if they are ok. I don't understand this indignation followed by a generalization. For the record, I'm Indian and have lived for decades here. What you say may probably be true in urban India, depending on the family, education levels of the woman and the parents, economic class, religion, caste and several other factors. But even in urban India, adult women don't have much say in refusing to marry a man whom their parents have decided is the best match. If you look at rural India, it's likely a lot worse. A woman agreeing to marry a man doesn't mean that she's voluntarily choosing to do so after doing her own "due diligence" and checking if this match would support the kind of life she desires or dreams to lead. Most of the time, the man and woman get to talk to each other for a very short while, almost like a job interview, after which they're expected to decide on the "yes" or "no", if such a choice is even available. The fact that divorce is looked at as a disgusting matter combined with this decision making process is a big bummer. But I will give credit to the social support structure to keeping things running (though sometimes to the detriment of individuals). The same matter is a lot different for the men involved. As with many other instances and places around the world, the men do have more freedom and choice. P.S.: For a funny take on marriages in India, watch this movie from 1998 called "Hyderabad Blues". [1] Most of it still holds true now. [1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyderabad_Blues https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyderabad_Blues

overcast 8y ago

In my experience, having dated legit Indian women, housemaids are extremely common. Even low income families, had someone of even lower income working for them. Having food cooked for you by someone else is very much a norm for a lot of Indians.

seeyes 8y ago
>very much a norm for a lot of Indians Not at all true.
- redindian 8y ago
  It is :) 70-80% of the middle class homes have daily part time maids. At least they do dishes, wash clothes then move to the next home. Not all maids cook or allowed to cook.

shrikant 8y ago

3 hours? I think it might be matter of practice. It takes my partner and I about 30-40 mins to cook a full Indian dinner for the two of us from scratch, these days. I remember it used to take about 80-90 mins when we were less coordinated in the kitchen, but nowadays we've got a pretty smooth supply chain going!