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I don't know why, but I found it really hard to resign at my old job. I actively disliked it and I didn't owe them anything. But still I found it really hard to

I don't know why, but I found it really hard to resign at my old job. I actively disliked it and I didn't owe them anything. But still I found it really hard to resign and tell my colleagues that I was resigning, I didn't even care about them. Most of the team only learned that I was leaving on my last week (I had given 3 weeks notice). I just felt really awkward telling them for some unknown reason. Funnily enough, I worked in a coworking space, and most other people in the space knew I was leaving before my coworkers. My coworkers only found out because they put my leaving party on the "this week" board in the kitchen.

chrisco255 8y ago
It's hard to quit anything you've invested time and energy into, especially when it involves relationships with other people. Only way to get better at it, though, is to do it, however hard it is. I awkwardly (and abruptly) quit my first job (for another one) and later ran into my old manager. She brought up how awkward it was, and I replied that I should have done it better. The thing is, I think it was mostly out of shyness, or worry about disappointing someone. But I think that you learn by doing. You get better at framing it correctly, or dealing with objections, and you can quit in a way that brings closure to both parties. People from my past often pop back into it from time to time. It's important to try to leave on good terms whenever possible.
- therockspush 8y ago
  So you should quit more often and you'll get better at it. Thats my kind of advice. Quitting a job is like leaving a party. You probably didn't like everyone there. You probably avoided some people. That's where the Irish Goodbye shines. You get to leave without having to decide who to say goodbye to, and avoid long winded and shallow well wishes. As long as you aren't burning bridges, it actually benefits both sides in a lot of ways to just ghost on coworkers.
  - chrisco255 8y ago
    No, ghosting a job is a terrible idea. If two parties invested any amount of time into a relationship, be an adult and own up to your responsibility to end it in a way that gives closure and respects the other person. A job is not a party, a job is a big commitment with a lot of value exchanged both ways. It also benefits you, more than you know.
    - lovich 8y ago
      Funny how the companies don't extend that courtesy to employees. When they're done with you, you're walked out the door. Sure, you should tell them you've quit and not ghost them, but why go to any extra lengths like a two weeks notice when they wouldnt do the same for you?
      - sethammons 8y ago
        References? It is relatively common to call a former employer of a prospective employee and verify employment and ask if they would hire the person again.
        lovich 8y ago
        Every place I've worked has a policy of only confirming when an employee worked at a company. I'd get references from personal contacts, but they don't care how I left the company
      - gowld 8y ago
        Which companies don't extend that courtesy? Any company I've worked at gives 1-3months notice for low performers. They call it a "Performance Improvement Plan" or somesuch, and basically pay you while you search for another job. For layoffs, there's a severance payment equivalent to several weeks. No salaried job at a going concern would skip severance, because severance is on condition of promising not to sue the company for anything.
        cableshaft 8y ago
- toomanybeersies 8y ago
  I think that's it. I invested years of my life into building that product (that I owned exactly zero of). It felt weird giving it up to someone else, I had a lot of pride in the code I wrote.
profalseidol 8y ago
The company actually owes you a lot. At least the capitalist ones.
sametmax 8y ago
It's because of the way our brain deals with commitment: the more your invest yourself in something, the harder it is to quit. E.G: Put your bad next to a person and leave. A thief comes and steal the bag. You have a low change of the person to protect your bag. Do the same, but just ask quickly if the person can keep an eye on the bag. You now have a much higher change that the person will protect it. The risks are the same for the person, and the gains are still zero, but they committed. This have plenty of application in sales, politics, etc. For a very fun ride about this, read "Small Treatise About Manipulation for Honest People ". It explains very well how we trick ourselves into taking weird decisions because of commitments.

chrisco255 8y ago

It's hard to quit anything you've invested time and energy into, especially when it involves relationships with other people. Only way to get better at it, though, is to do it, however hard it is. I awkwardly (and abruptly) quit my first job (for another one) and later ran into my old manager. She brought up how awkward it was, and I replied that I should have done it better. The thing is, I think it was mostly out of shyness, or worry about disappointing someone. But I think that you learn by doing. You get better at framing it correctly, or dealing with objections, and you can quit in a way that brings closure to both parties. People from my past often pop back into it from time to time. It's important to try to leave on good terms whenever possible.

therockspush 8y ago
So you should quit more often and you'll get better at it. Thats my kind of advice. Quitting a job is like leaving a party. You probably didn't like everyone there. You probably avoided some people. That's where the Irish Goodbye shines. You get to leave without having to decide who to say goodbye to, and avoid long winded and shallow well wishes. As long as you aren't burning bridges, it actually benefits both sides in a lot of ways to just ghost on coworkers.
- chrisco255 8y ago
  No, ghosting a job is a terrible idea. If two parties invested any amount of time into a relationship, be an adult and own up to your responsibility to end it in a way that gives closure and respects the other person. A job is not a party, a job is a big commitment with a lot of value exchanged both ways. It also benefits you, more than you know.
  - lovich 8y ago
    Funny how the companies don't extend that courtesy to employees. When they're done with you, you're walked out the door. Sure, you should tell them you've quit and not ghost them, but why go to any extra lengths like a two weeks notice when they wouldnt do the same for you?
    - sethammons 8y ago
      References? It is relatively common to call a former employer of a prospective employee and verify employment and ask if they would hire the person again.
      - lovich 8y ago
        Every place I've worked has a policy of only confirming when an employee worked at a company. I'd get references from personal contacts, but they don't care how I left the company
    - gowld 8y ago
      Which companies don't extend that courtesy? Any company I've worked at gives 1-3months notice for low performers. They call it a "Performance Improvement Plan" or somesuch, and basically pay you while you search for another job. For layoffs, there's a severance payment equivalent to several weeks. No salaried job at a going concern would skip severance, because severance is on condition of promising not to sue the company for anything.
      - cableshaft 8y ago
toomanybeersies 8y ago
I think that's it. I invested years of my life into building that product (that I owned exactly zero of). It felt weird giving it up to someone else, I had a lot of pride in the code I wrote.

profalseidol 8y ago

The company actually owes you a lot. At least the capitalist ones.

sametmax 8y ago

It's because of the way our brain deals with commitment: the more your invest yourself in something, the harder it is to quit. E.G: Put your bad next to a person and leave. A thief comes and steal the bag. You have a low change of the person to protect your bag. Do the same, but just ask quickly if the person can keep an eye on the bag. You now have a much higher change that the person will protect it. The risks are the same for the person, and the gains are still zero, but they committed. This have plenty of application in sales, politics, etc. For a very fun ride about this, read "Small Treatise About Manipulation for Honest People ". It explains very well how we trick ourselves into taking weird decisions because of commitments.