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I definitely have it, or else I wouldn't be a USA freelancer w/ 5+ years php experience (laravel + vue = current stack), but only charge $40 an hour as a freela

I definitely have it, or else I wouldn't be a USA freelancer w/ 5+ years php experience (laravel + vue = current stack), but only charge $40 an hour as a freelancer... See, I KNOW I have it, I KNOW I'm worth more, but when I get into negotiations on rates, I freeze up and low ball to get the client rather than just spit out $100/hour take it or leave it... I'm in therapy for anxiety/depression though and focus/concentration issues, (just started last week), I'm hopeful some of this might be worked through and I can find some quality clients that will pay industry standards for freelance work..or I'll start a Saas that has MRR and I won't need to worry about it.

throwawaymath 8y ago
Without trying to trivialize your reasons for going to therapy: I don't think you have imposter syndrome. If you do, something seems incongruent here. It sounds to me as though you struggle with negotiation due to a lack of confidence. That's not ideal but it can be remedied, and it's a different (better, in my opinion) issue to have. On the other hand I don't really think you can have imposter syndrome while being self-aware about having it. Imposter syndrome is a thought process, not a behavioral pattern. Understanding that you're worth more than what you're charging means you're aware you could improve in negotiation. How would you be aware that you're worth more while also being aware that you believe that you're not worth more? On a more practical note: I used to be a consultant. I initially struggled with negotiation as well. My advice to you is to practice being flippant with the numbers you provide. I know that sounds cavalier and it's easier said than done, but it can be a very empowering (albeit nerve-wracking) experience to learn how to give ridiculous numbers out. You might be surprised how often they're accepted.
- gremlinsinc 8y ago
  The imposter part is I don't feel I'm as 'good' as that other guy who's making 100..maybe I don't know everything htey know..I'm not the best at super complicated algorithms or math, but I can google this shit out of stack overflow and solve 95% of all issues I've ever had. That's what kind of knocks my confidence down a little bit.
  - sshine 8y ago
    I don't want to steal your label, but it sounds like a lack of confidence, maybe lack of perception of self worth.
  - kthejoker2 8y ago
    Everyone Googles and SOs. The work is too vast and varied, and the timelines have the baked in assumption that you're not reinventing the wheel. You are expected to accelerate through reusd and acquired knowledge. I need someone who knows PHP syntax and knows what to Google for when they're staring at a problem they don't know off the top of their head.
emmanuel_1234 8y ago
Holy shit, I'm actually considering negotiating to lower my current salary because I don't think I'm worthy...
DoreenMichele 8y ago
Let me suggest you look into "twice exceptional" resources. I'm 2xE. When I'm good, I'm very good. When I'm bad, I'm truly terrible. The very nature of being talented but also handicapped makes it nigh impossible to predict if today you are delivering awesome sauce or laying another goose egg. Given that reality, it isn't crazy to err on the side of charging low rates so people don't smear your reputation if it falls short. Working on solving underlying problems and putting good systems in place for double checking your work can help. I also prefer to charge by the piece rather than by the hour. Then it's my problem if I stare at the screen and drool on myself all afternoon, not my client's, and as I get better, my de facto hourly rate improves. I absolutely do not suffer from Impostor Syndrome, but I do struggle to appropriately price my work for a variety of reasons, including the fact that I'm 2xE. It's slowly getting better. Best. (Will add: I recently learned that the new abbreviation is 2e. You might have more luck searching that term than 2xE.)

throwawaymath 8y ago

Without trying to trivialize your reasons for going to therapy: I don't think you have imposter syndrome. If you do, something seems incongruent here. It sounds to me as though you struggle with negotiation due to a lack of confidence. That's not ideal but it can be remedied, and it's a different (better, in my opinion) issue to have. On the other hand I don't really think you can have imposter syndrome while being self-aware about having it. Imposter syndrome is a thought process, not a behavioral pattern. Understanding that you're worth more than what you're charging means you're aware you could improve in negotiation. How would you be aware that you're worth more while also being aware that you believe that you're not worth more? On a more practical note: I used to be a consultant. I initially struggled with negotiation as well. My advice to you is to practice being flippant with the numbers you provide. I know that sounds cavalier and it's easier said than done, but it can be a very empowering (albeit nerve-wracking) experience to learn how to give ridiculous numbers out. You might be surprised how often they're accepted.

gremlinsinc 8y ago
The imposter part is I don't feel I'm as 'good' as that other guy who's making 100..maybe I don't know everything htey know..I'm not the best at super complicated algorithms or math, but I can google this shit out of stack overflow and solve 95% of all issues I've ever had. That's what kind of knocks my confidence down a little bit.
- sshine 8y ago
  I don't want to steal your label, but it sounds like a lack of confidence, maybe lack of perception of self worth.
- kthejoker2 8y ago
  Everyone Googles and SOs. The work is too vast and varied, and the timelines have the baked in assumption that you're not reinventing the wheel. You are expected to accelerate through reusd and acquired knowledge. I need someone who knows PHP syntax and knows what to Google for when they're staring at a problem they don't know off the top of their head.

emmanuel_1234 8y ago

Holy shit, I'm actually considering negotiating to lower my current salary because I don't think I'm worthy...

DoreenMichele 8y ago

Let me suggest you look into "twice exceptional" resources. I'm 2xE. When I'm good, I'm very good. When I'm bad, I'm truly terrible. The very nature of being talented but also handicapped makes it nigh impossible to predict if today you are delivering awesome sauce or laying another goose egg. Given that reality, it isn't crazy to err on the side of charging low rates so people don't smear your reputation if it falls short. Working on solving underlying problems and putting good systems in place for double checking your work can help. I also prefer to charge by the piece rather than by the hour. Then it's my problem if I stare at the screen and drool on myself all afternoon, not my client's, and as I get better, my de facto hourly rate improves. I absolutely do not suffer from Impostor Syndrome, but I do struggle to appropriately price my work for a variety of reasons, including the fact that I'm 2xE. It's slowly getting better. Best. (Will add: I recently learned that the new abbreviation is 2e. You might have more luck searching that term than 2xE.)