As this essay does, it always helps to dig deeper into what a word such as loneliness actually means. I've written about this a bit below[1,2]. I'm interested

As this essay does, it always helps to dig deeper into what a word such as loneliness actually means. I've written about this a bit below[1,2]. I'm interested in what the ingredients of these deep relationships are, both emotionally (eg. interests, vulnerability) and logistically (eg. time, proximity) so that we can better create and maintain them. I think that if we can influence these factors, we can have better control of our natural degree of loneliness (and to emphasize, some amount is completely natural). --- I think the word “loneliness” is loaded with a ton of baggage, so maybe a better way to frame it is as “a lack of deep relationships.” I have a couple of thoughts here. First, defined in this way, you can have one close friend and not be lonely. You can have a ton of “friends” and still be lonely. This seems much more intuitively correct. Second, deep relationships are hard, and things which are hard are generally rare. It’s hard to get out of the house, leave what is comfortable and go meet strangers. On top of that, we’ve all had times where we meet new people, have a lot in common - and yet, nothing “deeper” materializes. And on top of that, strengthening and maintaining a relationship takes a lot of work. Without investment of time or effort, relationships atrophy. Deep relationships should necessarily be uncommon. [1] https://alexpetralia.github.io/2018/04/02/NL-2018-04-02.html https://alexpetralia.github.io/2018/04/02/NL-2018-04-02.html [2] https://alexpetralia.github.io/2018/03/19/NL-2018-03-19.html https://alexpetralia.github.io/2018/03/19/NL-2018-03-19.html