My household has a similar debate around the usefulness of kindness and empathy for changing other people's behavior. My household has several empathetic and ca

My household has a similar debate around the usefulness of kindness and empathy for changing other people's behavior. My household has several empathetic and caring members, who frequently (and effectively) use those traits to guide other people into better behavior patterns, often just by existing in the same space. On the other hand, sometimes there are dudes whose bad behavior is intractable, and the only halfway effective intervention is when I tell them forcefully to stop. Not viciously, but mercilessly direct, and little concession made for their comfort. Although as I write that out, it looks like maybe the issue is that the framing is wrong - it's not empathy vs force, it's more like empathy and force. A question of choosing the right communication strategy for the person and situation. I have no doubt when entitlement is the issue, getting (metaphorically?) punched in the face a couple of times is an important "teaching moment". It's probably not the case that all lessons are best taught like that.