5 ms·

Put in a home? Why wouldn't you want to spend all the last time on this mortal earth with your parents, and holding their hands as they leave this lifetime? Rep

• quakenul 8y ago
  Yes, you don't. Lifes and circumstances vary as much as the oceans and asking assuming questions on emotional topics without at least first trying to get near the person having to make the decision seems really pointless.
• throwaway8879 8y ago
  Why? Nobody ever asked my consent about coming into existence filled mostly with misery and struggle. Why do I owe them anything? Repayment for what exactly? I never asked for any of this.
  • mrhappyunhappy 8y ago
    You don't have kids, do you?
    • throwaway8879 8y ago
      Why would I? I would hope that any decent and truly moral person would not bring another human into existence as long as there is the slightest chance of suffering, no matter how small it is.
• tmalsburg2 8y ago
  Ah, isn't it easy to judge other people based on just one sentence?!
• tomhoward 8y ago
  Elderly care homes have professional medical and nursing staff on site, so far better care can be provided than most families can offer in their homes. It's a separate matter as to whether families make adequate effort to visit and spend quality time with their ageing parents/grandparents when they've been put into a home. In the case of my family, my mother visited her parents daily for the last few years of their lives, and my partner's mother and aunt now visit their mother daily too - both before and since she was put into an aged care home. Other families may not be as attentive and that's sad, but it's a separate issue as to whether aged care homes are good places for elderly people to live.
  • inawarminister 8y ago
    Thank you for the perspective. Not as much difference from what your family was and is doing with people with hospitalization, I think.
• astura 8y ago
  >Why wouldn't you want to spend all the last time on this mortal earth with your parents, and holding their hands as they leave this lifetime? Because my parents are huge assholes, are intolerable as people, and abused me during my entire childhood. So I'd rather avoid them at all costs. >Repayment of when you yourself was born into this one? I didn't ask to be born, I don't owe my parents anything. Even if you love your parents more than anything else in the world, it can be downright impossible to care for someone who needs 24 hour medical care if you aren't medically qualified. On top of that most people can't afford to quit their job and their entire lives to become permanent caregivers. It's often impossible. I have an uncle-in-law who is extremely disabled and lives in a home. It's not possible for my (now dead) grandparents-in-laws (or anyone else) to give him the care he needs.
• dang 8y ago
  It's a breach of HN's civility rules to disparage other people's intimate personal situations. There's always a great deal we don't know, and what lies underneath is often pretty tragic. Please don't post like this to HN.
  • inawarminister 8y ago
    Thank you for the gentle reminder, I'll make sure to not do this again. Not the forum for it.