> You're the only person who is talking about being best friends with your coworkers. I'm talking about having a working relationship with people which means be

> You're the only person who is talking about being best friends with your coworkers. I'm talking about having a working relationship with people which means being able to communicate with people. There is lots of gray area between being best friends and wanting to keep work and personal life separate. Christ, you literally compared it to your relationship with your partner, forgive me if I'm just following your argument. > I literally don't care. All I care is that you can communicate in some way. Saying "sorry I'd rather not discuss that" is fine. Saying "Why do you want to know about my hobbies, you're just going to use what I tell you to confirm your biases and not hire me" is antagonistic and makes me wonder "how are they going to react when I sit beside them". Being an interview candidate who is under the microscope and being a coworker are two completely different experiences, and my relationship to you as a candidate will be extremely different than as a coworker. The communication I'm provided as a candidate is usually not frank and honest. I often won't even get feedback because companies are afraid of being sued, so the process is often a total black box. If we're drawing the analogy between an actual working relationship and the experience of an interview, everything about the latter is artificial because I need to work to live and am generally willing to jump through whatever hoops you need me to. Meanwhile you are going to conceal your actual thoughts until you have to make a yes/no decision about if I'll have to worry about not getting a paycheck at the end of the month to pay rent. This entire experience is a lie. I get that there are difficult, arrogant people out there, but stop prying into the lives of your candidates to try to suss those out and have a little empathy for people in this experience. > that's awful, I'm sorry that happened to you. Look in the scheme of things my grievances are minor, tech has a much larger problem w/ racism, misogyny, transphobia, etc. and those biases are much more prevalent in interviews. I want tech workers to have some recognition of their position within the structure of society as workers with relative privilege who could make their jobs easily accessible for anyone instead of nickel and diming candidates over bullshit. Start seeing yourself as an actual worker with compatible interests to other workers and not as a gatekeeper or emissary for your boss.