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>Why would anyone willingly work at a job like this. Why is this ever accepted to be a good thing. I've done this as well, I've worked 9-9 at a startup and have

>Why would anyone willingly work at a job like this. Why is this ever accepted to be a good thing. I've done this as well, I've worked 9-9 at a startup and have come to the conclusion that I was extremely wrong to ever accept this kind of thing. You don't need to work at a job for 12 hours a day to wind up spending more time with your coworkers than with your partner though. I work 9-5, my partner works 10-6. I leave before she is awake and when I get home we have about 6 hours before we go to bed. So yeah, people willingly work at jobs like that because they are...normal jobs. >lmao this is an amazingly stupid excuse that makes no sense Makes sense to me. Anyone who gets up and walks out of an interview because they were asked what they liked to do for fun is probably not someone you want to waste your time with.

almostdeadguy 8y ago
> You don't need to work at a job for 12 hours a day to wind up spending more time with your coworkers than with your partner though. I work 9-5, my partner works 10-6. I leave before she is awake and when I get home we have about 6 hours before we go to bed. So yeah, people willingly work at jobs like that because they are...normal jobs. Buddy there are at least 32 free non-sleep hours on the weekend. I think the 9-5 schedule is a ridiculous social phenomenon as well, but if you're saying "I spend more time with my deskmates than my partner during the week", you're working more than a 9-5. If you're using "during the week" to mean on weekdays, this seems like a pretty arbitrary point to make. We live in a capitalist society, most of our social relationships are determined by economics, frankly I think it's fucked up to think you're entitled to be best friends with your coworkers. I'm unhappy that economic decisions beyond my control mediate my personal relationships, but that affects my politics not my decision-making around whether someone is entitled to earn a living alongside me. > Makes sense to me. Anyone who gets up and walks out of an interview because they were asked what they liked to do for fun is probably not someone you want to waste your time with. That's not why you ask these questions for one, because you're basically just describing me and mostly no one else. But ask yourself why its important to know what my hobbies are and why I might be reluctant to answer this kind of question when every single little petty bias you have might prevent me from getting a job. Consider the position of power you have in this scenario. This is not a hypothetical either. This will sound like humblebragging, but I had an interview with a digital healthcare company in the bay area once and was told I didn't get the job because I "seemed too interested in CS topics" or something to that effect. Effectively saying they didn't want somebody who was interested in more than hacking javascript (which I did a code interview in and did well I thought). I had an interview where an interviewer was able to learn my politics from a github org I was a member of and didn't get the job (no idea if that affected the decision or not, they wouldn't explain their rationale). This kind of thing is why I don't consider these questions innocuous.
- sosense 8y ago
  True, not innocuous. An interview tests you. But walking out because of that question? Come up with a canned answer. You like spelunking. After all this, I am genuinely curious of your hobbies.
  - almostdeadguy 8y ago
    Testing me about the things I enjoy in my personal life that are unrelated to how I perform my job is a gross practice that shouldn't be tolerated. I have pretty regular hobbies, I like reading, movies, board games, I play drums, I like seeing bands, I participate in some activist groups. Why is this any business of a prospective employer? I was asked recently what my favorite genre of music is and when I said punk rock I was asked "why do you like punk rock?". Do you understand why I might find this to be weird and invasive and cause me to question what aspects of myself are really being interrogated in an interview like that?
- maccard 8y ago
  > If you're using "during the week" to mean on weekdays, this seems like a pretty arbitrary point to make This is pretty much the universal understanding of during the week. I don't think it's arbitrary at all. I spend 40 hours a week in my office, and I spend 62 (32 on weekends and 6 per evening on a weekday), so 40% of my waking time is going to be spent with this person. > frankly I think it's fucked up to think you're entitled to be best friends with your coworkers. You're the only person who is talking about being best friends with your coworkers. I'm talking about having a working relationship with people which means being able to communicate with people. There is lots of gray area between being best friends and wanting to keep work and personal life separate. > But ask yourself why its important to know what my hobbies are I literally don't care. All I care is that you can communicate in some way. Saying "sorry I'd rather not discuss that" is fine. Saying "Why do you want to know about my hobbies, you're just going to use what I tell you to confirm your biases and not hire me" is antagonistic and makes me wonder "how are they going to react when I sit beside them". > and was told I didn't get the job because... that's awful, I'm sorry that happened to you.

almostdeadguy 8y ago

> You don't need to work at a job for 12 hours a day to wind up spending more time with your coworkers than with your partner though. I work 9-5, my partner works 10-6. I leave before she is awake and when I get home we have about 6 hours before we go to bed. So yeah, people willingly work at jobs like that because they are...normal jobs. Buddy there are at least 32 free non-sleep hours on the weekend. I think the 9-5 schedule is a ridiculous social phenomenon as well, but if you're saying "I spend more time with my deskmates than my partner during the week", you're working more than a 9-5. If you're using "during the week" to mean on weekdays, this seems like a pretty arbitrary point to make. We live in a capitalist society, most of our social relationships are determined by economics, frankly I think it's fucked up to think you're entitled to be best friends with your coworkers. I'm unhappy that economic decisions beyond my control mediate my personal relationships, but that affects my politics not my decision-making around whether someone is entitled to earn a living alongside me. > Makes sense to me. Anyone who gets up and walks out of an interview because they were asked what they liked to do for fun is probably not someone you want to waste your time with. That's not why you ask these questions for one, because you're basically just describing me and mostly no one else. But ask yourself why its important to know what my hobbies are and why I might be reluctant to answer this kind of question when every single little petty bias you have might prevent me from getting a job. Consider the position of power you have in this scenario. This is not a hypothetical either. This will sound like humblebragging, but I had an interview with a digital healthcare company in the bay area once and was told I didn't get the job because I "seemed too interested in CS topics" or something to that effect. Effectively saying they didn't want somebody who was interested in more than hacking javascript (which I did a code interview in and did well I thought). I had an interview where an interviewer was able to learn my politics from a github org I was a member of and didn't get the job (no idea if that affected the decision or not, they wouldn't explain their rationale). This kind of thing is why I don't consider these questions innocuous.

sosense 8y ago
True, not innocuous. An interview tests you. But walking out because of that question? Come up with a canned answer. You like spelunking. After all this, I am genuinely curious of your hobbies.
- almostdeadguy 8y ago
  Testing me about the things I enjoy in my personal life that are unrelated to how I perform my job is a gross practice that shouldn't be tolerated. I have pretty regular hobbies, I like reading, movies, board games, I play drums, I like seeing bands, I participate in some activist groups. Why is this any business of a prospective employer? I was asked recently what my favorite genre of music is and when I said punk rock I was asked "why do you like punk rock?". Do you understand why I might find this to be weird and invasive and cause me to question what aspects of myself are really being interrogated in an interview like that?
maccard 8y ago
> If you're using "during the week" to mean on weekdays, this seems like a pretty arbitrary point to make This is pretty much the universal understanding of during the week. I don't think it's arbitrary at all. I spend 40 hours a week in my office, and I spend 62 (32 on weekends and 6 per evening on a weekday), so 40% of my waking time is going to be spent with this person. > frankly I think it's fucked up to think you're entitled to be best friends with your coworkers. You're the only person who is talking about being best friends with your coworkers. I'm talking about having a working relationship with people which means being able to communicate with people. There is lots of gray area between being best friends and wanting to keep work and personal life separate. > But ask yourself why its important to know what my hobbies are I literally don't care. All I care is that you can communicate in some way. Saying "sorry I'd rather not discuss that" is fine. Saying "Why do you want to know about my hobbies, you're just going to use what I tell you to confirm your biases and not hire me" is antagonistic and makes me wonder "how are they going to react when I sit beside them". > and was told I didn't get the job because... that's awful, I'm sorry that happened to you.