3 ms·
That itself begs definition. How do you define an asshole? Someone who is genuinely a true brute and awful person? Or someone who stands by their standards and
by iamdave 8y ago
That itself begs definition. How do you define an asshole? Someone who is genuinely a true brute and awful person? Or someone who stands by their standards and does so firmly because they believe in their personal principles?
I ask that question that specifically because the latter I have been told point blank is definitely asshole behavior. To which I say "it depends". Standing up for your principles and not capitulating to someone arbitrarily projecting their expectations onto you? That's not asshole behavior. That's standing up for yourself. Some seem to think otherwise.
Letting your principles take place of basic tact, dignity and respect for others? Different story. Some still even in this regard...think otherwise.
So how are we defining "asshole" tendencies here? Seems to me just as abitrary as "culture fit"
- ABCLAW 8y agoI don't think anyone defines an asshole as: >[...] someone who stands by their standards and does so firmly because they believe in their personal principles? That's integrity. Being stubborn and abrasive about it, however, isn't the same thing as having integrity. Paraphrasing something I heard on the point: 'most people interested in being brutally honest are more interested in being brutal than being honest.'
- firemancoder 8y agoAgree. Some of the most effective people can be "assholes" when they stick to their principles in the face of pressure.
- sgift 8y agoBeing an asshole about it is easier. But you don't have to be. Someone who can be principled without being an asshole is a true gem.
- firemancoder 8y agoI agree with this also. Very rare
- monochromatic 8y agoA subjective definition seems fine. If I’m the one who has to live with him, my definition controls.