4 ms·

not a compliment.

• retsibsi 8y ago
  I dunno, I know a lot of 'compliments' are nothing of the sort, but I can see this one being well-intended. It's not actually saying anything bad about the target, just awkwardly pointing out that they don't really fit a negative stereotype. And because 'socialness' isn't a quality where more is always better, it doesn't have quite the same damning-with-faint-praise vibe as it would if it were about, say, intelligence or looks.
  • james1071 8y ago
    Pointing out that someone does not really fit a negative stereotype will ussally not be perceived as a positive. I said usually, because it is possible to convey different meanings by tone of voice and other non-verbal means. But, based on the words alone, it will not be interpreted positively.
    • retsibsi 8y ago
      > Pointing out that someone does not really fit a negative stereotype will ussally not be perceived as a positive. Agreed, I just think this is relatively likely to be one of the exceptions, or at least to be genuinely well-intended. Partly because it's not so likely to seem like damning with faint praise, and partly because the stereotype itself is less deeply offensive than e.g. racism. (Especially if the trait in question is something like sociability, rather than social skills. If someone says they find me less introverted than they expected based on my profession, it's hard to take much offense at that. I think calling someone 'very social' is a bit ambiguous, but I lean toward interpreting it this way.)