The first part of the post sounds like an episode of depression is coming over you. Please seek some help. It's impossible to tell from across the internet whet

The first part of the post sounds like an episode of depression is coming over you. Please seek some help. It's impossible to tell from across the internet whether this is a 3-day funk or the onset of a more serious condition. A professional psychiatrist will help you. Going alone may work, but will be much more difficult and the chance of a screwup is higher. The second part of your post sounds like an existential crisis. You're ambitious and are coming to realize that life is more complicated than it initially seemed. I'm 50% older than you are. What you are discovering is normal. It may seem depressing to you, as you've imagined the world to work differently. That's just the first reaction. The world works in ways that are more complicated and beautiful than you could imagine. You've taken the first step and realized that the world does not work exactly how you thought it does. Now spend some time (like the rest of your life) trying to figure out why that is. It's not all dark and bad. Maybe your boss does not want automation built as he knows that if you leave, he will not find another bright person like you to maintain it. Nor does he want to. Maybe he is planning a reconfiguration of your QA infrastructure to meet some new requirement, and automating the current setup would be a wasted effort. Maybe he is just dumb, but you can't change that either. Think of this through his perspective and try to imagine five reasons why that may be. Most of your projects will fail to be financial successes. This is normal, and you know it. Work on things that are interesting to you. It may not yield financial successes, but it will result in personal satisfaction, learning, and scratching that problem solving itch that you have. Perhaps one will be so cool and interesting that people will come out of the woodwork to work with you. But likely not. There are more reasons than you can think of why someone is not buying what you've built or does not want to work with you. Switch perspectives. Ask yourself why you are not jumping at the opportunity at joining project X that you learned about yesterday. It may be that it is because it is being run by a person who rubs you the wrong way, or the project is trivial, or the subject matter does not interest you, or does not have a chance of success. Behind each of those projects that you chose not to join is a founder who is asking themselves the same questions that you are. If you're not challenged at work, do what needs to get done and spend the rest of the time in a way that is rewarding for you. Read books. Take long lunches. Don't be "in your face" about it with your bosses. Look for another job where you will be challenged. Treat yourself with respect. Respect others around you. Learn. Try to see things through other people's perspective. Realize that you can't change the whole world, but you can change tiny infinitesimal pieces of it. These tiny changes will add up in unexpected ways, and one may even blossom into something larger.