I think you've distilled the debate perfectly to it's uncomfortable and anachronistic point. I think what it comes down to is that some people (myself included

I think you've distilled the debate perfectly to it's uncomfortable and anachronistic point. I think what it comes down to is that some people (myself included) are finding it hard to give the benefit of the doubt here when the character defence being offered so closely parallels what's been said in the past in defence of brazen male perverts. That said, I think you've hit the nail on the head regarding in and out groups, and we should simply be looking at this as: a person has been wronged here, what's the appropriate response? There's a reason the law as written doesn't discriminate offences on race or gender.