I'm sure if you ask anyone on this site they'll tell you they've failed at lots of things -- some programming related, and some not. The good news is that you'

I'm sure if you ask anyone on this site they'll tell you they've failed at lots of things -- some programming related, and some not. The good news is that you're only 30, and you have plenty more time to both succeed and fail at lots of other things. I suggest you try to disassociate your quest to learn to program from your dissatisfaction with your current job. Maybe you can learn enough about software development to change careers but you're putting an immense amount of pressure on yourself to learn, which may make it harder. Now, for programming - I suggest you consider working through some online tutorials. Pick a free tutorial on the web or in a book which is a beginner lesson. Start with something complex enough to feel like you've achieved something, but easy enough where you won't give up. If you get stuck - ask questions on StackOverflow.com or another online support forum. If you know someone who can program, ask them for their help. The early days of learning to program are very easy to get bogged down in the tools you need to configure to get things working, or the syntax nuances where an errant symbol leave what you're working on entirely broken. This is entirely normal, and while it's frustrating -- when you eventually figure out what's wrong, you're actually learning to program. Good luck! And if you do feel depressed, please consider talking to a professional qualified to help you navigate those feelings. Work can be challenging, no matter what you're doing, but taking the initiative to ask for help from others should be commended.