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I've always been addicted to gaming. When I was younger, my parents wisely chose not to purchase a PC, so I would usually play at friends/relatives' place. I as
by pm90 8y ago
I've always been addicted to gaming. When I was younger, my parents wisely chose not to purchase a PC, so I would usually play at friends/relatives' place. I assumed it was just how I was.
Now that I am an OK adult with decent life: my playstation just lies there, and its really hard for me to start playing any new game.
I figured that when I was younger, the video games provided an effective escape from the reality of being a child, with never having anything of consequence to contribute (I blame my parents for making me feel this way; even though they were perhaps just ignorant). Games had a structured environment, with rewards for specific actions, rewards that I did not find in my real life with doing anything. The fake medals/trophies were so much better than what I had in real life (which was nothing). It gave me a sense of belonging to a group, or to many groups, something which I did not in real life.
Perhaps this applies only to kids without siblings. But video games were the one place where I could really be happy. When that changed and my real life became more amazing, I stopped playing them. Perhaps thats all that kids want.
I should note that video games were not the only form of escapism, I enjoyed reading Harry Potter for that very reason too.
- ASalazarMX 8y ago> Games had a structured environment, with rewards for specific actions, rewards that I did not find in my real life with doing anything Which is something reality can't provide: short-term rewards disproportionate to the effort made.
- simonsarris 8y agoI think this is it for a lot of people. I played insane amounts of video games as a kid. Getting up at 5am before school just to play more Age of Empires. But once as an adult I had other stuff to do that fulfilled my need to build and accomplish things, I stopped playing more or less naturally, except the occasional social game with a far away friend. Kids have almost zero avenues to build or accomplish things. Their parents don't care or give them meaningful stuff to work on or tools to build stuff with. They might as well be under house arrest. They have no way of seeing their friends except in-game because they must get their parents to drive them everywhere. Even if they drove to their friends house, they have nothing to do with them except play games. We fail children everywhere by disallowing them from having meaningful stuff to do.
- selestify 8y agoWhat kinds of meaningful stuff are kids even capable of doing?
- phyzome 8y agoWhat kinds of meaningful stuff are adults even capable of doing? What kinds of meaningful stuff are you even capable of doing?
- selestify 8y agoI don't know. What makes something meaningful?
- photojosh 8y agoNot meaningful to you, meaningful to them. Mine are currently building weird contraptions out of Meccano, take off on their bikes every chance they get, and playing their instruments without being asked (most of the time). They often actively turn down the option to play video games. I take the parenting approach of throwing tons of stuff at them, and let them pursue what they find interesting. It seems to be they find meaning in exploring the limits of what their minds and bodies can do, which I reckon is fine for 8 and 10 year olds.
- selestify 8y agoDo you ever restrict them from doing one thing, such as video games, too much?
- photojosh 8y agoThere was a period when they were 5-7 years old where they did want to play a lot more, and we had to limit it and cut them off. One notable experience: we make them watch their own time limits, and there was a time where they went 20 minutes over, so we banned gaming for 2 weeks, and it hasn't happened again. It arises sometimes during school holidays, but more often than not, they themselves decide it's time to finish up and go get some outdoors time. I acknowledge that this dynamic is likely to change significantly when they get a bit older and particularly getting into teenage years, but I don't think we could have done this initial groundwork any better, IMHO. (And another key component is that all screens are in shared family spaces, not in bedrooms.)
- sizzle 8y agoVery insightful post, thanks for sharing! I too cannot pick up a controller as an adult despite a childhood filled with gaming. I think my reward system has acquired the concept of 'opportunity cost' and trading time for $$ or spending my (finite) time with friends and family makes gaming as a adult seem less rewarding than when I had nothing better to do as a hyperactive kid. My parents didn't provide any creative outlets growing up and alcoholism made them unavailable to me as it was their own source of escapism. I wish they took me to museums etc :'( some day when I have kids I promise I will pay it forward and take them to science and history/art museums etc and indulge in what I missed out on as a kid :)