Reframe the question "How do I get the girl" may work for a particular girl but is that healthy for you long term? Reframe: what traits do partners appreciate

Reframe the question "How do I get the girl" may work for a particular girl but is that healthy for you long term? Reframe: what traits do partners appreciate and how do I cultivate them? Much better, right? And the goal becomes long term "being better" instead of short term "dating girl in cubicle 7" This also has multiplier effects: now you can be better in all areas, not just the "getting the girl" area. This may lead to more money or other goals. Practice lots of empathy and selfless improvement. Don't focus on girl, job, monetary figure. Once you "get" them, if you "get" them, you will be lost again. Focus on being a better person. Then you will appreciate the things you have and will have the mindset to maintain them.