I've been dealing with OCD for about 2 decades now (I was around the same age as the author when I got these compulsions). A lot of it centers around health an

I've been dealing with OCD for about 2 decades now (I was around the same age as the author when I got these compulsions). A lot of it centers around health and death, it goes hand in hand with hypochondria and thanatophobia (fear of dying). It's related to my stress for sure, and I often get panic attacks because I can't let go of the thoughts of having become ill or dying. It does affect my daily life, I have 'repetitive thoughts' almost the whole day. Not per se bad thoughts, sometimes just worrying about my eyes hurting from wearing lenses - I keep thinking that until it starts hurting. I have some kind of 'pattern' when it comes to thinking and if I move outside of it, I start repeating myself. One of these is that, as a bilingual person, when I mix up languages in my thoughts that is 'wrong' somehow and I need to start the 'train of thought' again. Sometimes - the moments I am most stressed - I end up in a cycle of causing more OCD moments by having stress, which causes OCD, .. At times it just depresses me that my thoughts aren't "normal", I know it's not rational to keep repeating things to oneself, but if I don't do it I have a nagging feeling that just pushes me to do it. I also think that OCD is not something only the person who has it suffers from, it surely does take a toll on the people around you at times - especially when it makes you seem stressed out all the time and like you're on "edge". At least from my experience.