3 ms·

> I'm the same way! I have to train myself not to think when people give a casual "hey, how are you?". I know, right? I knew I couldn't be the only person arou

> I'm the same way! I have to train myself not to think when people give a casual "hey, how are you?". I know, right? I knew I couldn't be the only person around that gets annoyed when other ask this of me and I have to divert resources the answer the annoyingly irrelevant question. even more so when after careful considering and answering, the answer is essentially ignored. every. time.

malux85 8y ago
It’s not a literal inquiry, it’s the verbal equivalent of a TCP handshake. It’s protocol negotiation, volume adjustment, and preparation for transmission.
- robryan 8y ago
  It depends, as a conversation starter it is probably okay. As an entire conversation it is almost entirely pointless, basically 2 people acknowledging that the other still exists.
  - imhoguy 8y ago
    ICMP then
  - jacobush 8y ago
    That's not a bad thing! Acknowledging each other on the social graph.
- NLips 8y ago
  That's how I see it, and there'd be no point if no further information is exchanged. As a sibling comment says, some people use it more like a ping, where I'm uncomfortable using something other than a more traditional greeting: That is to say, when passing someone in a hall, I want to stick to "hi" or "good morning", and feel uncomfortable if the other person says "how are you?". If it's the start of a conversation, "How are you?" works absolutely fine. I think the problem is that "How are you?" doesn't finish an exchange nicely. You can easily greet someone in passing with A: "Hi" B: "Hi" <EOL> It doesn't work (for me, at least) to go A: "How are you?" B: "(Fine.) How are you?" A: (optional)"Fine" If A responds fine, it feels almost rude to abrubtly finish a conversation that had previously involved both parties asking questions about each other (even though they're really just being used as greetings). If A doesn't respond at all, that's rude for not responding to a question!
davegauer 8y ago
I can't fathom why you've been down-voted on this comment! I feel the exact same way and I think you've elaborated on the parent's comment in a usefully specific way. And I, too, find the exchange irritating and have now taken to a stock response of "hi" as a form of "nonviolent resistance"[01] to the question! [01] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_resistance https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_resistance

malux85 8y ago

It’s not a literal inquiry, it’s the verbal equivalent of a TCP handshake. It’s protocol negotiation, volume adjustment, and preparation for transmission.

robryan 8y ago
It depends, as a conversation starter it is probably okay. As an entire conversation it is almost entirely pointless, basically 2 people acknowledging that the other still exists.
- imhoguy 8y ago
  ICMP then
- jacobush 8y ago
  That's not a bad thing! Acknowledging each other on the social graph.
NLips 8y ago
That's how I see it, and there'd be no point if no further information is exchanged. As a sibling comment says, some people use it more like a ping, where I'm uncomfortable using something other than a more traditional greeting: That is to say, when passing someone in a hall, I want to stick to "hi" or "good morning", and feel uncomfortable if the other person says "how are you?". If it's the start of a conversation, "How are you?" works absolutely fine. I think the problem is that "How are you?" doesn't finish an exchange nicely. You can easily greet someone in passing with A: "Hi" B: "Hi" <EOL> It doesn't work (for me, at least) to go A: "How are you?" B: "(Fine.) How are you?" A: (optional)"Fine" If A responds fine, it feels almost rude to abrubtly finish a conversation that had previously involved both parties asking questions about each other (even though they're really just being used as greetings). If A doesn't respond at all, that's rude for not responding to a question!

davegauer 8y ago

I can't fathom why you've been down-voted on this comment! I feel the exact same way and I think you've elaborated on the parent's comment in a usefully specific way. And I, too, find the exchange irritating and have now taken to a stock response of "hi" as a form of "nonviolent resistance"[01] to the question! [01] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_resistance https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_resistance