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> other kids could fall over and scream for an hour over the smallest of falls. Why? From what I have learned so far by reading various parents' comments etc,

> other kids could fall over and scream for an hour over the smallest of falls. Why? From what I have learned so far by reading various parents' comments etc, all kids are very different and making general conclusions like this one seems to be pointless / incorrect. Your first kid may be calm and chill and your second one can be agitated (or vice versa) while your parenting style stays the same. Why? Because these are two different humans and not something else.

intothemild 8y ago
Ahh, Nurture vs Nature.. Of course two children could be totally different. But you cannot deny that the influence you have as a parent. I gave the scenario of my mother-in-law, and her two daughters. My mother-in-law is 1 of 3 sisters, a very anxious person. Her two sisters polar opposites. Their mother a very calm, very hands off parent. Right there is a great example of your point. 3 children, 2 similar, one the same. Now where it gets interesting, is my mother-in-law had 2 daughters... both as anxious as their mother. Where my mother-in-laws two sisters, whom are very laid back and hands off as parents. Their children are also laid back and relaxed, much more so than my wife and her sister. This is anecdotal for sure, but so is cherry picking comments from online and drawing a conclusion. I'm not saying that my comments are 100% accurate, not even close.. I'm saying in my observations this is the driving factor in the parenting choices I've decided to make for my daughter, and no one else's.
- nadezhda18 8y ago
  > you cannot deny that the influence you have as a parent for sure, I agree with you. It seems to me that it is better to make conclusions looking at grown adults and families in total - like you did with your in-laws. I just wanted to say there might be a tendency to look at screaming (or in this case, it would be anxious) kids and generalize and criticize their parents for bad parenting skills / inability to deal with kids / whatever; meanwhile, it's not their fault. Just good to remember that. (Edits: minor formatting)
  - intothemild 8y ago
    I think it’s unfair to judge another parents ability to parent based on a single action. I agree with you there, every parent is different, just like their children. I’d like to believe that more often than not a child is similar to the parent, If that’s nurture or nature, or culture I don’t know. Fun to wonder though.

intothemild 8y ago

Ahh, Nurture vs Nature.. Of course two children could be totally different. But you cannot deny that the influence you have as a parent. I gave the scenario of my mother-in-law, and her two daughters. My mother-in-law is 1 of 3 sisters, a very anxious person. Her two sisters polar opposites. Their mother a very calm, very hands off parent. Right there is a great example of your point. 3 children, 2 similar, one the same. Now where it gets interesting, is my mother-in-law had 2 daughters... both as anxious as their mother. Where my mother-in-laws two sisters, whom are very laid back and hands off as parents. Their children are also laid back and relaxed, much more so than my wife and her sister. This is anecdotal for sure, but so is cherry picking comments from online and drawing a conclusion. I'm not saying that my comments are 100% accurate, not even close.. I'm saying in my observations this is the driving factor in the parenting choices I've decided to make for my daughter, and no one else's.

nadezhda18 8y ago
> you cannot deny that the influence you have as a parent for sure, I agree with you. It seems to me that it is better to make conclusions looking at grown adults and families in total - like you did with your in-laws. I just wanted to say there might be a tendency to look at screaming (or in this case, it would be anxious) kids and generalize and criticize their parents for bad parenting skills / inability to deal with kids / whatever; meanwhile, it's not their fault. Just good to remember that. (Edits: minor formatting)
- intothemild 8y ago
  I think it’s unfair to judge another parents ability to parent based on a single action. I agree with you there, every parent is different, just like their children. I’d like to believe that more often than not a child is similar to the parent, If that’s nurture or nature, or culture I don’t know. Fun to wonder though.