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In NYC, where I live, I would never strike up a conversation with a random stranger. The first thought that crosses my mind is, "oh they're probably on their wa
by sxp62000 8y ago
In NYC, where I live, I would never strike up a conversation with a random stranger. The first thought that crosses my mind is, "oh they're probably on their way to work", or "they seem busy on their phone", etc.
Our smartphones, tablets, headphones definitely make us less approachable. But our attitudes towards work is also to blame. There is this culture of being busy in NYC all the time, it's almost as if people take pride in it. This probably shows in our body language too.
I feel especially alone on crowded trains. Everybody is staring at their phones or trying really hard to not make eye contact. No wonder a lot of out-of-towners feel NYC is an intimidating place and the people are rude.
- throwaway427 8y agoI lived in NYC for ten years, bars are where you can talk to random strangers. I had hundreds of conversations and met many people that way.
- sxp62000 8y agoLiquid courage helps of course.
- quotemstr 8y agoI used to live next to a bar. A few times a week, I'd take my laptop down there, grab a beer, maybe order dinner, and code. Over a year or so of doing that, I think maybe two or three people attempted to strike up conversations. Now, that might be a side effect of working on a laptop, or it might be the famously insular Seattle culture, but it still feels like a very low rate of spontaneous personal connection. Going by old movies at least, it seems like pre-information-age, you'd expect to see far more social interaction in a setting like that.
- pnathan 8y agoWhen we visited NYC a few years ago, I thought NYC was one of the friendliest places in the USA I'd ever been. And I've been to the midwest, san francisco, the pacific NW, the southwest, and the DC area. We took the subway and the bus, walked here and there, looked lost every now and then... people offered to help periodically, happily chatted on the subway... it was extremely impressive and we definitely would be up for living there sometime just based on how nice people were. There was a no-bs attitude which was refreshing, but they were also kind to the derpy tourists we were, in ways I'd never expect in Seattle.
- sxp62000 8y agoThe funny thing is when I'm on vacation, I find it much easier to strike up a conversation with strangers! Also, now that I think about it, when I'm walking around NYC with a camera around my neck (i like street photography), people approach me more often. I guess a derpy tourist is less intimidating hahah.