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I do think people tend to engage with strangers a lot less often than they had "back then," but I cannot agree modern society stigmatizes that kind of interacti

I do think people tend to engage with strangers a lot less often than they had "back then," but I cannot agree modern society stigmatizes that kind of interaction at all. You can see people interacting with strangers on college campuses, at music events, and at grocery stores all the time.

wenc 8y ago
This still happens but it can be geography-specific. Chicago is one of the few big cities that is still relatively open to these types of spontaneous interactions. London on the other hand is not.
- tomazio 8y ago
  As a current Chicago resident of 2+ years, I agree. Although I always thought this was just a Midwestern thing, as I grew up in Ohio and this was pretty common there as well.
drb91 8y ago
Agreed. While I get the fear of interacting with strangers, I’ve never gotten more than mild annoyance from someone when I actually do it. I have never felt like I was overstepping bounds—people rarely mind being spoken to with respect, even if they don’t respond and engage. Camaraderie is harder, and making jokes others don’t like can be stigmatizing. I wonder if one’s culture of informality is just less assumably universal than it has been in the recent past. I also wonder if living in a city can desensitize you to how exhausting it can be to invest in a social interaction with no clear payoff.
bunderbunder 8y ago
But, still, it seems to be a big enough difference that I could see it easily engendering a lot more loneliness. Even 10 or 15 years ago - at the time I had a job that was 100% travel time, and found I could generally bootstrap a decent social life in a new town by just going to the nearest cafe and striking up conversations with neighbors. Nowadays, though, most people are engrossed in some piece of electronics or other, and seem more inclined to regard attempts at socialization as an interruption.
- StillBored 8y ago
  Frequently the phone is being used as a shield. Otherwise people feel that they are looking bored/lonely. A good percentage of the time people will put the phone down if you start talking to them though. (not that I disagree the phone as shield makes the problem worse).
Fricken 8y ago
Modern society doesn't overtly stigmatize social interaction, it encourages social isolation at a structural level. Car dependent suburban sprawl is designed to minimize the number of necessary interactions you need to have with strangers to get through your day. As a society we've gone to great lengths to avoid other people. The miracle of modern civilization is that you no longer need to be a part of a community and cultivate a series of interdependent relationships to get through life.
- closeparen 8y ago
  Car dependent suburban sprawl maximizes the time that members of the same family spend together, at the expense of interaction with strangers. Both have their place in different phases of life. Many parents gladly give up interactions with strangers on public transit in exchange for the extra hours with their children that fast personal transport enables. It’s a terrible place to live alone when young and single, but that’s not what it’s for.
  - Fricken 8y ago
    Cars don't save any time. Mass transit, cycling and walking in a city optimized for those modes is just as fast. It's also safer, cheaper, better for mental and physical health, better for the environment, upward economic mobility, and aesthetically nicer. The personal automobile is for signalling status and avoiding poor/black people, which is worth more than all those other things.
    - closeparen 8y ago
      No amount of bike lane makes you pedal 60mph. That assertion is clearly absurd. Of course there are tradeoffs other than time, but people aren't evil for valuing it. To replicate the 25 minute commute times that are completely normal across America's car-centric sprawl into a dense and transit-centric area, one has to live in the most central and premium real estate. Great if you can afford it. Most can’t.
      - 8y ago

wenc 8y ago

This still happens but it can be geography-specific. Chicago is one of the few big cities that is still relatively open to these types of spontaneous interactions. London on the other hand is not.

tomazio 8y ago
As a current Chicago resident of 2+ years, I agree. Although I always thought this was just a Midwestern thing, as I grew up in Ohio and this was pretty common there as well.

drb91 8y ago

Agreed. While I get the fear of interacting with strangers, I’ve never gotten more than mild annoyance from someone when I actually do it. I have never felt like I was overstepping bounds—people rarely mind being spoken to with respect, even if they don’t respond and engage. Camaraderie is harder, and making jokes others don’t like can be stigmatizing. I wonder if one’s culture of informality is just less assumably universal than it has been in the recent past. I also wonder if living in a city can desensitize you to how exhausting it can be to invest in a social interaction with no clear payoff.

bunderbunder 8y ago

But, still, it seems to be a big enough difference that I could see it easily engendering a lot more loneliness. Even 10 or 15 years ago - at the time I had a job that was 100% travel time, and found I could generally bootstrap a decent social life in a new town by just going to the nearest cafe and striking up conversations with neighbors. Nowadays, though, most people are engrossed in some piece of electronics or other, and seem more inclined to regard attempts at socialization as an interruption.

StillBored 8y ago
Frequently the phone is being used as a shield. Otherwise people feel that they are looking bored/lonely. A good percentage of the time people will put the phone down if you start talking to them though. (not that I disagree the phone as shield makes the problem worse).

Fricken 8y ago

Modern society doesn't overtly stigmatize social interaction, it encourages social isolation at a structural level. Car dependent suburban sprawl is designed to minimize the number of necessary interactions you need to have with strangers to get through your day. As a society we've gone to great lengths to avoid other people. The miracle of modern civilization is that you no longer need to be a part of a community and cultivate a series of interdependent relationships to get through life.

closeparen 8y ago
Car dependent suburban sprawl maximizes the time that members of the same family spend together, at the expense of interaction with strangers. Both have their place in different phases of life. Many parents gladly give up interactions with strangers on public transit in exchange for the extra hours with their children that fast personal transport enables. It’s a terrible place to live alone when young and single, but that’s not what it’s for.
- Fricken 8y ago
  Cars don't save any time. Mass transit, cycling and walking in a city optimized for those modes is just as fast. It's also safer, cheaper, better for mental and physical health, better for the environment, upward economic mobility, and aesthetically nicer. The personal automobile is for signalling status and avoiding poor/black people, which is worth more than all those other things.
  - closeparen 8y ago
    No amount of bike lane makes you pedal 60mph. That assertion is clearly absurd. Of course there are tradeoffs other than time, but people aren't evil for valuing it. To replicate the 25 minute commute times that are completely normal across America's car-centric sprawl into a dense and transit-centric area, one has to live in the most central and premium real estate. Great if you can afford it. Most can’t.
    - 8y ago