3 ms·

This "be yourself" line of speaking is garbage. It makes the speaker sound wise while doing nothing to help the person who is desperate for a romantic partner.

by xamuel 8y ago

This "be yourself" line of speaking is garbage. It makes the speaker sound wise while doing nothing to help the person who is desperate for a romantic partner. About as useful as telling a depressive person to cheer up. Imagine we flipped it around and said it to entrepreneurs: "Do you really want to live your life as CEO of a successful startup knowing you got there by faking confidence?"

dvfjsdhgfv 8y ago
"Be yourself" is very vague statement, I wouldn't tell anyone that; it's also meaningless without a context. What I mean is that there is a whole business of people telling other people they can do anything if they start acting some different way. For some, it works. For others, it's a source of frustration. Some people discover it quite early in life - that they can fake some feelings to take advantage of others. They start playing all these little games, especially in relationships, instead of being frank with the other person. My friends are telling me these stories all time. That's radically different from deciding to make a change in one's life, to make some effort in order to change bad habits and so on. The key difference is how you feel once you succeeded. Are you 100% happy? Then everything is fine. Are you always anxious, tired of acting (e.g. like you care or you don't care), and something doesn't really feel right? You may want to rethink your priorities in life.
dabbledash 8y ago
“Keep doing what you’re doing” would certainly be bad advice for someone unhappy with their current prospects. But some combination of “improve yourself” and “examine your expectations” will work better than “pretend to have qualities you don’t” as a long term romantic strategy. E.g.: instead of faking confidence, work on improving actual confidence.

3 ms·

This "be yourself" line of speaking is garbage. It makes the speaker sound wise while doing nothing to help the person who is desperate for a romantic partner.

by xamuel 8y ago

dvfjsdhgfv 8y ago
"Be yourself" is very vague statement, I wouldn't tell anyone that; it's also meaningless without a context. What I mean is that there is a whole business of people telling other people they can do anything if they start acting some different way. For some, it works. For others, it's a source of frustration. Some people discover it quite early in life - that they can fake some feelings to take advantage of others. They start playing all these little games, especially in relationships, instead of being frank with the other person. My friends are telling me these stories all time. That's radically different from deciding to make a change in one's life, to make some effort in order to change bad habits and so on. The key difference is how you feel once you succeeded. Are you 100% happy? Then everything is fine. Are you always anxious, tired of acting (e.g. like you care or you don't care), and something doesn't really feel right? You may want to rethink your priorities in life.
dabbledash 8y ago
“Keep doing what you’re doing” would certainly be bad advice for someone unhappy with their current prospects. But some combination of “improve yourself” and “examine your expectations” will work better than “pretend to have qualities you don’t” as a long term romantic strategy. E.g.: instead of faking confidence, work on improving actual confidence.