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Trying to determine which one you are doing is hard problem, because, relying on incomplete information. I believe it's best to be internally positive about you

Trying to determine which one you are doing is hard problem, because, relying on incomplete information. I believe it's best to be internally positive about your own decision making, and let what is not you take over when it does. Sometimes other people know best, sometimes you do. Not everything is as easy to understand as a computer program, math proof, circuit board - anything logical, mechanical in nature, easy to understand, easy to identify gaps in understanding - because, it's a mechanical object. Those things lack consciousness. Being a rational being means having awareness for the difference (at least to me). Selectivity in who to listen to, depends on trust, which is a hard problem, life can sometimes really beat up on any of us. I don't think it's a good thing to choose to interact with people you have to constantly decide between two binaries - manipulator or guide. That is the business world though, sometimes, unfortunately. Some people can seem like they are just out to get you, but that doesn't make it true. Tolerance is important, but, emotions sometimes, seem mechanical in nature. At least how I understand my own, internally. Feels like being computer. Socializing in general always seems to be a hard problem. Even harder when there's a bottom line.

RangerScience 8y ago
Hmm, I dunno. Seems like this is duck-type'able. If you are seeking to degrade someone's decision making, you're manipulating. If you are feeling like your decisions process is being degraded, you're being manipulated. For the first case, it doesn't mean that you're succeeding. For the second case, that doesn't mean it's their intention. I'd then also say you can duck-type the opposite (which I wouldn't really call persuasion, but anyway) - if you seek to empower someone's decision making, well, then there's no reason to beat yourself up over which you're doing. (If someone says you're being manipulative tho, take it as a bug report - but again, since your intentions are solid, no reason to beat yourself up over it).
- deleted 8y ago
  [deleted]
- xupybd 8y ago
  Hmmm I don’t know if I agree. You can feel like someone is trying to degrade your desision making when they’re not. In mental illness this is common. If a person refuses to believe they are mentally ill any attempt to help them seek treatment appears to them as an attempt to gaslight them.
  - RangerScience 8y ago
    Good point. Chalk this up to "existence is fractally complex - anything that can exist, does exist, in every variation".
  - s-shellfish 8y ago
    Being labeled mentally ill can feel like it's gas lighting, especially if oneself knows their self to be just as rational and competent as anyone else. Mental illness is often a matter of circumstance. Of course people who are homeless or fear the worst happening to them over and over are going to appear as though their decision making is being degraded by being called mentally ill. It's basically like being called an idiot, which is ironic, because, lots of mental healthcare attempts to reduce stigma, but still must discriminate between types of individuals for diagnosis, even though people really, really can't be labeled that way. It's always an observer bias. I don't know if this helps or hurts generally, about mental illness, I don't know your specific circumstance or people you have interacted with who have mental illness. But feeling slapped with a label for the rest of your life feels like a huge burden to carry. Just because, you made some big 'mistakes', in front of someone who had the authority to give you that label. Something I'm personally very stubborn about, and very outspoken about, is mental illness discrimination. You can read through these papers and see if they make sense to you, if you want to. I'm not sure how many of the papers I've read throughout my life about psychology, neuroscience, etc, but I've read a lot. I'm not a psychologist, therapist, or anyone who has been correctly (via an accredited institution) educated in mental health care, and I only study myself, and to a lesser degree, my family, as they study me. Mental illness should be a label you can have removed - because every variation of behavior mental illness describes as negative can also have a positive side, and trying to remove all the things mental illness labels as negative can really be handicapping, eventually. You need 'black and white' thinking for software development. Application of it to social systems, can be useful, but only in chaotic social systems where people identify you as 'the enemy', which is just as much up to them as it is to you. Trying to identify one big thing as 'the error' in life just, this a burdensome mindset to have. No matter what it gets attached to. Oneself can convince oneself they believe 'that was it, that was the error' at any moment in time. Those things aren't future proof, and it's erroneous to assume they are. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17470910802319710 https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/1747091080231971... http://www.jneurosci.org/content/25/49/11489?utm_source=TrendMD&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=JNeurosci_TrendMD_0 http://www.jneurosci.org/content/25/49/11489?utm_source=Tren... https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-018-29561-w https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-018-29561-w http://science.sciencemag.org/content/343/6171/675 http://science.sciencemag.org/content/343/6171/675

RangerScience 8y ago

Hmm, I dunno. Seems like this is duck-type'able. If you are seeking to degrade someone's decision making, you're manipulating. If you are feeling like your decisions process is being degraded, you're being manipulated. For the first case, it doesn't mean that you're succeeding. For the second case, that doesn't mean it's their intention. I'd then also say you can duck-type the opposite (which I wouldn't really call persuasion, but anyway) - if you seek to empower someone's decision making, well, then there's no reason to beat yourself up over which you're doing. (If someone says you're being manipulative tho, take it as a bug report - but again, since your intentions are solid, no reason to beat yourself up over it).

deleted 8y ago
[deleted]
xupybd 8y ago
Hmmm I don’t know if I agree. You can feel like someone is trying to degrade your desision making when they’re not. In mental illness this is common. If a person refuses to believe they are mentally ill any attempt to help them seek treatment appears to them as an attempt to gaslight them.
- RangerScience 8y ago
  Good point. Chalk this up to "existence is fractally complex - anything that can exist, does exist, in every variation".
- s-shellfish 8y ago
  Being labeled mentally ill can feel like it's gas lighting, especially if oneself knows their self to be just as rational and competent as anyone else. Mental illness is often a matter of circumstance. Of course people who are homeless or fear the worst happening to them over and over are going to appear as though their decision making is being degraded by being called mentally ill. It's basically like being called an idiot, which is ironic, because, lots of mental healthcare attempts to reduce stigma, but still must discriminate between types of individuals for diagnosis, even though people really, really can't be labeled that way. It's always an observer bias. I don't know if this helps or hurts generally, about mental illness, I don't know your specific circumstance or people you have interacted with who have mental illness. But feeling slapped with a label for the rest of your life feels like a huge burden to carry. Just because, you made some big 'mistakes', in front of someone who had the authority to give you that label. Something I'm personally very stubborn about, and very outspoken about, is mental illness discrimination. You can read through these papers and see if they make sense to you, if you want to. I'm not sure how many of the papers I've read throughout my life about psychology, neuroscience, etc, but I've read a lot. I'm not a psychologist, therapist, or anyone who has been correctly (via an accredited institution) educated in mental health care, and I only study myself, and to a lesser degree, my family, as they study me. Mental illness should be a label you can have removed - because every variation of behavior mental illness describes as negative can also have a positive side, and trying to remove all the things mental illness labels as negative can really be handicapping, eventually. You need 'black and white' thinking for software development. Application of it to social systems, can be useful, but only in chaotic social systems where people identify you as 'the enemy', which is just as much up to them as it is to you. Trying to identify one big thing as 'the error' in life just, this a burdensome mindset to have. No matter what it gets attached to. Oneself can convince oneself they believe 'that was it, that was the error' at any moment in time. Those things aren't future proof, and it's erroneous to assume they are. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17470910802319710 https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/1747091080231971... http://www.jneurosci.org/content/25/49/11489?utm_source=TrendMD&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=JNeurosci_TrendMD_0 http://www.jneurosci.org/content/25/49/11489?utm_source=Tren... https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-018-29561-w https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-018-29561-w http://science.sciencemag.org/content/343/6171/675 http://science.sciencemag.org/content/343/6171/675