3 ms·

To be honest, if you're willing to have a kid while unwilling to leave work aside for your kid, that's just plain old bad parenting and IDGAF if it's "authorita

To be honest, if you're willing to have a kid while unwilling to leave work aside for your kid, that's just plain old bad parenting and IDGAF if it's "authoritarian". I care about your kid being raised properly, because I don't want to deal with a criminal 20 years from now. That's why I happily pay taxes for education, less problems for me later even if I don't have kids.

zimablue 8y ago
So any father who doesn't take several complete months off work is neglectful? Which months are these, and if you take the wrong ones off are you neglectful? Is it the very early months where kids can't speak or ever remember what happened? Is it when they're learning to speak? This is an insane standard. Your kid isn't going to be a criminal because you worked when they were young. There are such things as evenings and weekends.
- Uberphallus 8y ago
  Mostly yes. There is [0] plenty of research [1] on the subject [2]. Early infancy is when the sense of empathy and belonging develops the most, and this development improves with the participation of the father in child care [3]. Daycare is in general subpar in this regard until the children can go to preschool, 0-4 isn't optimal for socialization. [0] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232438327_Empathic_Distress_in_the_Newborn https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232438327_Empathic_... [1] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/282751496_Development_of_Self_and_Empathy_in_Early_Infancy_Implications_for_Atypical_Development https://www.researchgate.net/publication/282751496_Developme... [2] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0163638311000506 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S016363831... [3] https://web.a.ebscohost.com/abstract?direct=true&profile=ehost&scope=site&authtype=crawler&jrnl=00916544&AN=24686157&h=bBc2JvQKtLb5xuuMn9KB8I%2bp3Jh%2b3%2fWEMbvwJQ%2b4FDgLt9YSAQxp2gC8VmMhT5dHFxVQs0qDHAdz3QpA7suUJg%3d%3d&crl=c&resultNs=AdminWebAuth&resultLocal=ErrCrlNotAuth&crlhashurl=login.aspx%3fdirect%3dtrue%26profile%3dehost%26scope%3dsite%26authtype%3dcrawler%26jrnl%3d00916544%26AN%3d24686157 https://web.a.ebscohost.com/abstract?direct=true&profile=eho...
- alkonaut 8y ago
  Consensus around where I live is that kids should be home, with a parent, at least the first year. I have no idea whether this has any support in science as being “better” for the kid, but I think it’s a nice thing to ensure kids and parents have this luxury so I’m happy to pay taxes to fund it (Also, since daycare is also tax funded, it doesn’t cost me that much, I’d pay taxes to care for this kid regardless). Unfortunately it’s still the case that women take nearly 2/3 of the leave but it’s moving in the right direction.

zimablue 8y ago

So any father who doesn't take several complete months off work is neglectful? Which months are these, and if you take the wrong ones off are you neglectful? Is it the very early months where kids can't speak or ever remember what happened? Is it when they're learning to speak? This is an insane standard. Your kid isn't going to be a criminal because you worked when they were young. There are such things as evenings and weekends.

Uberphallus 8y ago
Mostly yes. There is [0] plenty of research [1] on the subject [2]. Early infancy is when the sense of empathy and belonging develops the most, and this development improves with the participation of the father in child care [3]. Daycare is in general subpar in this regard until the children can go to preschool, 0-4 isn't optimal for socialization. [0] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232438327_Empathic_Distress_in_the_Newborn https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232438327_Empathic_... [1] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/282751496_Development_of_Self_and_Empathy_in_Early_Infancy_Implications_for_Atypical_Development https://www.researchgate.net/publication/282751496_Developme... [2] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0163638311000506 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S016363831... [3] https://web.a.ebscohost.com/abstract?direct=true&profile=ehost&scope=site&authtype=crawler&jrnl=00916544&AN=24686157&h=bBc2JvQKtLb5xuuMn9KB8I%2bp3Jh%2b3%2fWEMbvwJQ%2b4FDgLt9YSAQxp2gC8VmMhT5dHFxVQs0qDHAdz3QpA7suUJg%3d%3d&crl=c&resultNs=AdminWebAuth&resultLocal=ErrCrlNotAuth&crlhashurl=login.aspx%3fdirect%3dtrue%26profile%3dehost%26scope%3dsite%26authtype%3dcrawler%26jrnl%3d00916544%26AN%3d24686157 https://web.a.ebscohost.com/abstract?direct=true&profile=eho...
alkonaut 8y ago
Consensus around where I live is that kids should be home, with a parent, at least the first year. I have no idea whether this has any support in science as being “better” for the kid, but I think it’s a nice thing to ensure kids and parents have this luxury so I’m happy to pay taxes to fund it (Also, since daycare is also tax funded, it doesn’t cost me that much, I’d pay taxes to care for this kid regardless). Unfortunately it’s still the case that women take nearly 2/3 of the leave but it’s moving in the right direction.