I see it more like this: * Me: Hey guard, I want to read this newspaper * Guard: I won't let you unless you sniff this turd. * Me: I rephrase my question in

I see it more like this: * Me: Hey guard, I want to read this newspaper * Guard: I won't let you unless you sniff this turd. * Me: I rephrase my question innst ye olde English: Canst thou let reade thine newspaper. * Guard: I have no idea what you're talking about. Here is a newspaper, have fun. You are allowed make life complicated for me, but I violated no law or contract by rephrasing the question in an unexpected way. The options are: eat our crap, leave, or surprise us. BTW, This principle works very well for telesales, religious door-to-door people, and service desks. Do something unexpected and they do anything to get rid of you.