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I am an engineering manager. Some of the people I manage/have managed seem to think I am great. My evidence for this is two-fold: 1) multiple people that I ha

I am an engineering manager. Some of the people I manage/have managed seem to think I am great. My evidence for this is two-fold: 1) multiple people that I have managed before have moved on, and yet treat me as a friend/mentor: invite me to social events, still reach out to me on a regular basis with requests for advice, etc. 2) I get regular feedback via performance reviews as a manager that some people I am managing think I am great. Likewise, some of the people I manage seem to think I could improve. My evidence for this is likewise, two-fold: 1) Some people tell me directly what I could do to improve in my style of managing them specifically. 2) Some people only give feedback on areas where I could improve anonymously via previously mentioned performance reviews. Anyway, the point I am trying to make is that I am a mixed bag, but I am not universally terrible, and therefore my opinion shouldn't just be dismissed as "oh, you are just one of them". With that preamble out of the way: What do we think of someone who, for example, says "I've never had anything but bad boyfriends / bad girlfriends". Well, the common wisdom is that if you are consistently having shitty personal relationships, you are at least part of the problem. Likewise, If someone says "I've never had anything but bad managers", I apply the same pattern: you are probably not really putting in much effort into your professional relationships with your managers.

bsvalley 8y ago
I actually had one good manager, we're friends beyond just our professional environment. So indeed, that seems to be a valid case. Unfortunately, all the other managers felt much less friendly and kept spreading their authority rather than trying to elevate individual contributors. There's so little a manager can do when it comes to making big decisions. After all, a low level manager is more of a dispatcher rather than a decision maker. It is a role where you have to say "no" most of the time. That "no" usually looks like "let me see what I can do and I'll get back to you... never" or "there's a long way to go still but in the mean time, could you look at this because that's what we need to do..." type of answers. It's a good shield for senior managers so they don't have to deal with all these requests and can focus on the roadmap. It's a pull relationship versus a push relationship from IC's to managers, these days it feels like IC's don't get anything unless they ask for it. This should be the other way around. There's no team building anymore, no more team spirit we're almost in competition mode with our colleagues rather than learning from each other.
- YuriNiyazov 8y ago
  I’m sure that if you thought of a way to help your manager spread his/her authority you’d be mentally promoted to “trusted sidekick” category rather than kept in the “dumb peon” category
rubidium 8y ago
Chances are your leadership style matches certain employees but not other ones. There's a nice little theory (always messier in practice) around situational leadership by Blanchard and Hersey. 4 different leadership styles are needed to match employees in 4 different "states". Exceptional managers are able to match their style to their employees state. "Just good" managers usually default to 2 of the styles, and so don't always to well. Bad managers are either incomptent, or only use 1 style of management that mis-matches their team. Check out https://online.stu.edu/articles/education/what-is-situational-leadership.aspx https://online.stu.edu/articles/education/what-is-situationa... for more info.

bsvalley 8y ago

I actually had one good manager, we're friends beyond just our professional environment. So indeed, that seems to be a valid case. Unfortunately, all the other managers felt much less friendly and kept spreading their authority rather than trying to elevate individual contributors. There's so little a manager can do when it comes to making big decisions. After all, a low level manager is more of a dispatcher rather than a decision maker. It is a role where you have to say "no" most of the time. That "no" usually looks like "let me see what I can do and I'll get back to you... never" or "there's a long way to go still but in the mean time, could you look at this because that's what we need to do..." type of answers. It's a good shield for senior managers so they don't have to deal with all these requests and can focus on the roadmap. It's a pull relationship versus a push relationship from IC's to managers, these days it feels like IC's don't get anything unless they ask for it. This should be the other way around. There's no team building anymore, no more team spirit we're almost in competition mode with our colleagues rather than learning from each other.

YuriNiyazov 8y ago
I’m sure that if you thought of a way to help your manager spread his/her authority you’d be mentally promoted to “trusted sidekick” category rather than kept in the “dumb peon” category

rubidium 8y ago

Chances are your leadership style matches certain employees but not other ones. There's a nice little theory (always messier in practice) around situational leadership by Blanchard and Hersey. 4 different leadership styles are needed to match employees in 4 different "states". Exceptional managers are able to match their style to their employees state. "Just good" managers usually default to 2 of the styles, and so don't always to well. Bad managers are either incomptent, or only use 1 style of management that mis-matches their team. Check out https://online.stu.edu/articles/education/what-is-situational-leadership.aspx https://online.stu.edu/articles/education/what-is-situationa... for more info.