4 ms·

Sick of This Text: 'Sorry I'm Late'

23 points by cwan 16y ago

siruva07 16y ago
I think Glympse is trying to solve this problem http://www.glympse.com/ http://www.glympse.com/
- kscaldef 16y ago
  That seems like just another enabler for people. "Hey, I'm late, but you can track me in real time!"
makmanalp 16y ago
>> Now, thanks to cellphones, BlackBerrys and other gadgets, too many of us have become blasé about being late. We have so many ways to relay a message that we're going to be tardy that we no longer feel guilty about it. Poppycock. It's in your hands to determine whether it's okay for the other person to be late, messages or not. If you've been waiting for over 30 minutes, leave and tell your partner that you've done so through your "gadget".
- Timothee 16y ago
  leave and tell your partner that you've done so through your "gadget". Or, for repeat offenders: leave and don't tell. They'll figure it out when they get there... (passive-aggressive? surely)
  - etruong42 16y ago
    I prefer not to step on toes so strongly, so I would be diplomatic and say something along the lines of "I did not anticipate dinner taking so long, so I cannot stay." Variations include "I am on a tight schedule. I'm sorry but 20 minutes in without even ordering is too much." If texting, I have found word choice to be crucial in delivering how upset you are since there is no tone of voice. Inclusion of an actual reason and/or "maybe next time" is completely optional.
ciupicri 16y ago
> Some people were raised in cultures where tardiness is tolerated. Some European countries have the academic quarter[1] which basically means that it's ok to be 15 minutes late. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Academic_quarter_%28class_timing%29 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Academic_quarter_%28class_timin...
- kjksf 16y ago
  Academic quarter is for teachers, not students. It's not ok for students to be late to class even 1 minute. 15 minutes is the amount of time that students must wait for a teacher to arrive before they can assume that a class has been cancelled and disband. This is not about tolerating tardiness but a rule that clarifies what happens when a teacher doesn't arrive to teach the class in a timely manner. It's also not something that happens often. It's a rule for contingency planning and not a rule to promote a standard of teacher tardiness. At least in Poland.
  - ardit33 16y ago
    maybe he ment the 'Mediterranean Time'. Lets meet at 2, usually means around 2:10 2:15, or whatever. This will be done in 30 mins, means 45, 1hr, etc. Just the nature of the cultures, where they take it chill, drink a lot of coffee, and never rush for things, work to live, not live to work. Maybe that's why they have lower GDPs compared to the northern ones.
    - maw 16y ago
      Where I live (not along the Mediterranean) a dinner invitation for 8 means people starting to arrive at 9:45. An appointment with the dentist, half an hour away, at 11 means leaving at 11:05. To say more is to be horribly politically incorrect.
      - deleted 16y ago
        [deleted]
  - ciupicri 16y ago
dkasper 16y ago
"Her husband says she has "T.E.D."—Time Estimation Disorder." That's kind of an unfortunate acronym for TED conferences.
- sp332 16y ago
  Sebastian Wernicke gave a TED talk on what makes the most popular TED talks. It turns out the most "favorited" talks on the TED website are the longest ones. So it's a valid point either way :-) http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/lies_damned_lies_and_statistics_about_tedtalks.html http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/lies_damned_lies_and_stati...
bugsy 16y ago
It really seems like the author of that article has brought it upon herself because she continues to tolerate it, and does it herself on occasion. The rule is wait 15 minutes and then leave. After a couple such incidents, then you flip the flakey bit, and stop agreeing to meet that person one on one such as at restaurants or for day trips. It's still OK invite flakies to parties or group gatherings where it doesn't matter if they show up or not.
msluyter 16y ago
The flipside, imho, is that it's simply less of a big deal to be late, precisely because technology makes it less problematic. 20 years ago, if someone was late for, say, a dinner date, you'd be faced with the unpleasant choice of having to leave and reschedule, or wait, not knowing if they'll ever show. Now you can simply text each other. The decision point comes earlier. YMMV, but my circle seems to simply be generally more flexible about time. That may be considered rude to some, and rude by standards of 20 years ago, but as long as everyone is generally on board, it's not a problem. In fact, it's more flexible and arguably efficient (I'm thinking of just in time inventory). I'm wondering if we're simply witnessing a generational shift here. (Full disclosure, I'm in my 40's).
- _delirium 16y ago
  This is definitely true for me, though it varies based on the situation. I do find it somewhat rude/annoying to wait for people when meeting at a restaurant, mostly because it's somewhat awkward to wait. But if we're meeting at a coffee shop, I don't really care if they come on time or 30 mins late; I have plenty of stuff I can do in the meantime.
- pasbesoin 16y ago
  This comment mirrors my own initial thoughts: Rather than (just) a complaint, I'd be interested in an analysis of just what is going on, these days. There's so much tardiness, yet society and relationships are not flying apart (or maybe they are?). So, at a society level, it seems to be working. What does that look like, deconstructed? (Presumably, some part of the system/society is gaining advantages from it; we're not just all and entirely one-sidedly enduring a bad habit.) Now, to rectify my own bad behavior: Commenting before I've read the article. Edit: Read the article. I remain with the same question. I speculate the answer might intersect with recent commentary on the inhibiting effects of a surfeit of choice -- or, at a more basic level, mental stimulation. Too many things vying for our attention. There have been articles describing the deleterious effect upon the individual of encountering this in the form of too many products to choose from, when shopping. One effect being that you never make the purchase. Or you draw out the consideration to a crisis point, whereupon you snap up the item closest at hand, which may actually be a sub-optimal choice in terms of quality and features. In the modern, (U.S.) consumer landscape, more and more of the different brands are being manufactured by the same few conglomerates. Is there an analogy in the time management landscape? How many of those TV program choices are from the same conglomerates? How many of the conflicting demands upon your time come, actually, ultimately from the same employer? Is tackling the problem in part aided by recognizing the commonality of much of this distraction, and seeing it for that: One and the same? (So, make your choice and execute, and choose further to tune out -- at least while doing this -- the rest?) I feel I'm really going out on a limb, posting this rambling. But I wonder how others see this working, not just the impression that it's bad.
dmm 16y ago
> At 8:05, as I arrived at the restaurant, They were both late.
Tichy 16y ago
Was it necessary to write an article in WSJ about this, and style it to be a nation wide phenomenon? If your friends being late annoys you, tell them, or stop meeting them.
nathanb 16y ago
I am obsessively punctual, and I find that I only very rarely have to send the "sorry, I'm late" text. Much like the poor woman at the end of the article, I view it as a respect issue. It's not difficult to be on time so long as I leave at a reasonable time. For the common case (no problems) I can take a leisurely drive at a safe speed (see article http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20190187 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20190187 about driving fast). If I do encounter an unplanned delay, there's enough slack in the schedule that I can usually make up the time and still be punctual. I am also aware of the time and place, so if I know I will be driving east on I-40 at rush hour I will need to bake an extra 5-10 minutes into my schedule. I don't do this to make myself look good, I do it because I respect the other person and would like to be treated the same when the other person is meeting me somewhere.
balding_n_tired 16y ago
Washn't this posted from the original blog already?

23 points by cwan 16y ago

siruva07 16y ago

I think Glympse is trying to solve this problem http://www.glympse.com/ http://www.glympse.com/

kscaldef 16y ago
That seems like just another enabler for people. "Hey, I'm late, but you can track me in real time!"

makmanalp 16y ago

>> Now, thanks to cellphones, BlackBerrys and other gadgets, too many of us have become blasé about being late. We have so many ways to relay a message that we're going to be tardy that we no longer feel guilty about it. Poppycock. It's in your hands to determine whether it's okay for the other person to be late, messages or not. If you've been waiting for over 30 minutes, leave and tell your partner that you've done so through your "gadget".

Timothee 16y ago
leave and tell your partner that you've done so through your "gadget". Or, for repeat offenders: leave and don't tell. They'll figure it out when they get there... (passive-aggressive? surely)
- etruong42 16y ago
  I prefer not to step on toes so strongly, so I would be diplomatic and say something along the lines of "I did not anticipate dinner taking so long, so I cannot stay." Variations include "I am on a tight schedule. I'm sorry but 20 minutes in without even ordering is too much." If texting, I have found word choice to be crucial in delivering how upset you are since there is no tone of voice. Inclusion of an actual reason and/or "maybe next time" is completely optional.

ciupicri 16y ago

> Some people were raised in cultures where tardiness is tolerated. Some European countries have the academic quarter[1] which basically means that it's ok to be 15 minutes late. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Academic_quarter_%28class_timing%29 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Academic_quarter_%28class_timin...

kjksf 16y ago
Academic quarter is for teachers, not students. It's not ok for students to be late to class even 1 minute. 15 minutes is the amount of time that students must wait for a teacher to arrive before they can assume that a class has been cancelled and disband. This is not about tolerating tardiness but a rule that clarifies what happens when a teacher doesn't arrive to teach the class in a timely manner. It's also not something that happens often. It's a rule for contingency planning and not a rule to promote a standard of teacher tardiness. At least in Poland.
- ardit33 16y ago
  maybe he ment the 'Mediterranean Time'. Lets meet at 2, usually means around 2:10 2:15, or whatever. This will be done in 30 mins, means 45, 1hr, etc. Just the nature of the cultures, where they take it chill, drink a lot of coffee, and never rush for things, work to live, not live to work. Maybe that's why they have lower GDPs compared to the northern ones.
  - maw 16y ago
    Where I live (not along the Mediterranean) a dinner invitation for 8 means people starting to arrive at 9:45. An appointment with the dentist, half an hour away, at 11 means leaving at 11:05. To say more is to be horribly politically incorrect.
    - deleted 16y ago
      [deleted]
- ciupicri 16y ago

dkasper 16y ago

"Her husband says she has "T.E.D."—Time Estimation Disorder." That's kind of an unfortunate acronym for TED conferences.

sp332 16y ago
Sebastian Wernicke gave a TED talk on what makes the most popular TED talks. It turns out the most "favorited" talks on the TED website are the longest ones. So it's a valid point either way :-) http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/lies_damned_lies_and_statistics_about_tedtalks.html http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/lies_damned_lies_and_stati...

bugsy 16y ago

It really seems like the author of that article has brought it upon herself because she continues to tolerate it, and does it herself on occasion. The rule is wait 15 minutes and then leave. After a couple such incidents, then you flip the flakey bit, and stop agreeing to meet that person one on one such as at restaurants or for day trips. It's still OK invite flakies to parties or group gatherings where it doesn't matter if they show up or not.

msluyter 16y ago

The flipside, imho, is that it's simply less of a big deal to be late, precisely because technology makes it less problematic. 20 years ago, if someone was late for, say, a dinner date, you'd be faced with the unpleasant choice of having to leave and reschedule, or wait, not knowing if they'll ever show. Now you can simply text each other. The decision point comes earlier. YMMV, but my circle seems to simply be generally more flexible about time. That may be considered rude to some, and rude by standards of 20 years ago, but as long as everyone is generally on board, it's not a problem. In fact, it's more flexible and arguably efficient (I'm thinking of just in time inventory). I'm wondering if we're simply witnessing a generational shift here. (Full disclosure, I'm in my 40's).

_delirium 16y ago
This is definitely true for me, though it varies based on the situation. I do find it somewhat rude/annoying to wait for people when meeting at a restaurant, mostly because it's somewhat awkward to wait. But if we're meeting at a coffee shop, I don't really care if they come on time or 30 mins late; I have plenty of stuff I can do in the meantime.
pasbesoin 16y ago
This comment mirrors my own initial thoughts: Rather than (just) a complaint, I'd be interested in an analysis of just what is going on, these days. There's so much tardiness, yet society and relationships are not flying apart (or maybe they are?). So, at a society level, it seems to be working. What does that look like, deconstructed? (Presumably, some part of the system/society is gaining advantages from it; we're not just all and entirely one-sidedly enduring a bad habit.) Now, to rectify my own bad behavior: Commenting before I've read the article. Edit: Read the article. I remain with the same question. I speculate the answer might intersect with recent commentary on the inhibiting effects of a surfeit of choice -- or, at a more basic level, mental stimulation. Too many things vying for our attention. There have been articles describing the deleterious effect upon the individual of encountering this in the form of too many products to choose from, when shopping. One effect being that you never make the purchase. Or you draw out the consideration to a crisis point, whereupon you snap up the item closest at hand, which may actually be a sub-optimal choice in terms of quality and features. In the modern, (U.S.) consumer landscape, more and more of the different brands are being manufactured by the same few conglomerates. Is there an analogy in the time management landscape? How many of those TV program choices are from the same conglomerates? How many of the conflicting demands upon your time come, actually, ultimately from the same employer? Is tackling the problem in part aided by recognizing the commonality of much of this distraction, and seeing it for that: One and the same? (So, make your choice and execute, and choose further to tune out -- at least while doing this -- the rest?) I feel I'm really going out on a limb, posting this rambling. But I wonder how others see this working, not just the impression that it's bad.

dmm 16y ago

> At 8:05, as I arrived at the restaurant, They were both late.

Tichy 16y ago

Was it necessary to write an article in WSJ about this, and style it to be a nation wide phenomenon? If your friends being late annoys you, tell them, or stop meeting them.

nathanb 16y ago

I am obsessively punctual, and I find that I only very rarely have to send the "sorry, I'm late" text. Much like the poor woman at the end of the article, I view it as a respect issue. It's not difficult to be on time so long as I leave at a reasonable time. For the common case (no problems) I can take a leisurely drive at a safe speed (see article http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20190187 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20190187 about driving fast). If I do encounter an unplanned delay, there's enough slack in the schedule that I can usually make up the time and still be punctual. I am also aware of the time and place, so if I know I will be driving east on I-40 at rush hour I will need to bake an extra 5-10 minutes into my schedule. I don't do this to make myself look good, I do it because I respect the other person and would like to be treated the same when the other person is meeting me somewhere.

balding_n_tired 16y ago

Washn't this posted from the original blog already?