4 ms·

What kind of parent does their kid's homework?! Here's an idea. Why not have "how to be a parent" classes taught in high school or college?

analog31 8y ago
>>> What kind of parent does their kid's homework?! I did, in a particularly subtle way, until I realized it and stopped. I never physically performed the homework task, but I prodded my kids to get it done. As it turns out, the homework was so easy, that literally the only challenge was motivation. By supplying them with the motivation, I was effectively doing the work. Nowadays, if asked for help, I go into teacher mode, and start asking them questions or providing a gentle nudge towards figuring out something themselves. They know that asking me for help will generally make their task harder, rather than easier. ;-) >>> Here's an idea. Why not have "how to be a parent" classes taught in high school or college? Because we don't know what it consists of.
ams6110 8y ago
I will help with homework. Proofread a paper, point out clumsy sentences or poor reasoning. Suggest ways to improve a project. Help work through a math problem or proof, to the extent I can. Demonstrate that the answers can often be found by simply reading the textbook or other study materials. For one of my kids I even employed a math tutor when he was struggling. But actually do homework for them? No.
aiyodev 8y ago
Parents who understand what “tracking” is. If you aren’t, you’re setting your child up for failure.
- war1025 8y ago
  Sounds like a pretty wild rat race you're in.
  - JTbane 8y ago
    The rat race begins before you're even considered an adult! Sad but true.
- seattle_spring 8y ago
  What is "tracking" in this case?
  - analog31 8y ago
    Kids are separated into different classes based on ability, so there's a fast place class and a slower paced class at each grade level. My elementary school was tracked. My mom made damn sure that my brothers and me were placed in the fastest track, whether we belonged there or not. Tracking has a lot of ominous implications due to bias, and has been abandoned to a considerable extent, but teachers still unavoidably treat different kids with different expectations. And "involved" parents can influence those expectations.
    - laurieg 8y ago
      Tracking (or setting, or grouping) essentially means that the higher level groups are freed from the more distracting characters in the lower groups. Great for them, but terrible for you if you end up in one of those lowers sets and end up with a loud, boisterous and violent class for a year. Teachers are busy and overworked. I'm sure they try their best to put kids in the correct group for each subject, but you could easily end up in the 'wrong' one with no malice on the teachers part. My mother was a school teacher and when she found out that I wasn't in the higher group for English she fought tooth and nail to get me up there. She knew exactly what could happen in those lower groups.
jkern 8y ago
I'm not a parent but maybe this is a result of an increasingly competitive landscape for kids these days. I can easily see parents worried more about their kids falling behind in ways that institutions care about.
aidenn0 8y ago
How about schools that assign homework before the kids in the class are able to read? If that's not training parents to do their kids' homework, I don't know what is.
throwaway0255 8y ago
If my experience throughout grade school is an accurate reflection of US schools at large, nearly every upper-middle and above kid has a parent or tutor doing (or proofing) their homework for them. The poor kids (myself included) don't even necessarily have a person at home asking them anything about their homework, and so often don't do it at all. The kids with the tutors tended to have test scores that underperformed their homework scores. The teachers usually attributed this to abnormal stress levels due to the student being an over-achiever, or it was hand-waved as "he's just a poor test-taker", etc. A lot of them were given additional time to complete their tests as an accommodation. The kids who didn't do their homework tended to have test scores that dramatically outperformed their homework scores. The teachers attributed this to a slacker mentality, the student "not applying themselves", the student not respecting the teacher's curriculum, etc. In my case, I was repeatedly threatened with not even moving on to the next grade due to homework, despite never getting anything less than an A on any test, and repeatedly demonstrating that I knew all the material really well, and having all of that acknowledged by the very people threatening the hold me back a grade... That was a bit of a tangent, but yeah, a lot of kids have parents either doing their homework for them or proofing/correcting it before the teacher ever sees it. A lot of kids have parents doing entire projects for them using what is clearly hundreds or thousands of dollars in materials and equipment. It's a common thing, or at least it was in my districts growing up.

analog31 8y ago

>>> What kind of parent does their kid's homework?! I did, in a particularly subtle way, until I realized it and stopped. I never physically performed the homework task, but I prodded my kids to get it done. As it turns out, the homework was so easy, that literally the only challenge was motivation. By supplying them with the motivation, I was effectively doing the work. Nowadays, if asked for help, I go into teacher mode, and start asking them questions or providing a gentle nudge towards figuring out something themselves. They know that asking me for help will generally make their task harder, rather than easier. ;-) >>> Here's an idea. Why not have "how to be a parent" classes taught in high school or college? Because we don't know what it consists of.

ams6110 8y ago

I will help with homework. Proofread a paper, point out clumsy sentences or poor reasoning. Suggest ways to improve a project. Help work through a math problem or proof, to the extent I can. Demonstrate that the answers can often be found by simply reading the textbook or other study materials. For one of my kids I even employed a math tutor when he was struggling. But actually do homework for them? No.

aiyodev 8y ago

Parents who understand what “tracking” is. If you aren’t, you’re setting your child up for failure.

war1025 8y ago
Sounds like a pretty wild rat race you're in.
- JTbane 8y ago
  The rat race begins before you're even considered an adult! Sad but true.
seattle_spring 8y ago
What is "tracking" in this case?
- analog31 8y ago
  Kids are separated into different classes based on ability, so there's a fast place class and a slower paced class at each grade level. My elementary school was tracked. My mom made damn sure that my brothers and me were placed in the fastest track, whether we belonged there or not. Tracking has a lot of ominous implications due to bias, and has been abandoned to a considerable extent, but teachers still unavoidably treat different kids with different expectations. And "involved" parents can influence those expectations.
  - laurieg 8y ago
    Tracking (or setting, or grouping) essentially means that the higher level groups are freed from the more distracting characters in the lower groups. Great for them, but terrible for you if you end up in one of those lowers sets and end up with a loud, boisterous and violent class for a year. Teachers are busy and overworked. I'm sure they try their best to put kids in the correct group for each subject, but you could easily end up in the 'wrong' one with no malice on the teachers part. My mother was a school teacher and when she found out that I wasn't in the higher group for English she fought tooth and nail to get me up there. She knew exactly what could happen in those lower groups.

jkern 8y ago

I'm not a parent but maybe this is a result of an increasingly competitive landscape for kids these days. I can easily see parents worried more about their kids falling behind in ways that institutions care about.

aidenn0 8y ago

How about schools that assign homework before the kids in the class are able to read? If that's not training parents to do their kids' homework, I don't know what is.

throwaway0255 8y ago

If my experience throughout grade school is an accurate reflection of US schools at large, nearly every upper-middle and above kid has a parent or tutor doing (or proofing) their homework for them. The poor kids (myself included) don't even necessarily have a person at home asking them anything about their homework, and so often don't do it at all. The kids with the tutors tended to have test scores that underperformed their homework scores. The teachers usually attributed this to abnormal stress levels due to the student being an over-achiever, or it was hand-waved as "he's just a poor test-taker", etc. A lot of them were given additional time to complete their tests as an accommodation. The kids who didn't do their homework tended to have test scores that dramatically outperformed their homework scores. The teachers attributed this to a slacker mentality, the student "not applying themselves", the student not respecting the teacher's curriculum, etc. In my case, I was repeatedly threatened with not even moving on to the next grade due to homework, despite never getting anything less than an A on any test, and repeatedly demonstrating that I knew all the material really well, and having all of that acknowledged by the very people threatening the hold me back a grade... That was a bit of a tangent, but yeah, a lot of kids have parents either doing their homework for them or proofing/correcting it before the teacher ever sees it. A lot of kids have parents doing entire projects for them using what is clearly hundreds or thousands of dollars in materials and equipment. It's a common thing, or at least it was in my districts growing up.