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I’m with you. It’s been a struggle to reconcile life on it and off it. For six years I pinned. EW or EOD or ED. I got tired of it. It was consuming, and I fel

I’m with you. It’s been a struggle to reconcile life on it and off it. For six years I pinned. EW or EOD or ED. I got tired of it. It was consuming, and I felt like an addict. Testosterone is a carnal experience. I got tired of the mood swings. I felt amazing but, unstable. Certain things were not stable. My relationships specifically. I’m off it now, and I have to say, life is not as colorful, not as intense, not as visceral, not as exciting. My sex drive is average. I retained a lot of muscle mass. I still look good, and healthy. But I am a larger human being. I don’t see that changing too much. I’m not as lean. My hair has receded faster than it otherwise would have if I never took it. I have more bodyhair, specifically the back and chest and stomach, which isn’t all that sexy. I used to shave it. But I don’t even care anymore. Take me as I am. I miss the pump. The fullness. The excitement. The leanness. The vascularity. The ability to have sex 10 times in a row. The euphoric organisms that were like pure ecstasy. I loved sex. The endless energy. But I also felt like it was all artificial. That I was not really this person without it. And it was self obsessive. Mostly worried about what other people thought. It was so carnal, so... superficial. Physical. That didn’t leave me feeling too great. I think about getting back on. I’d look better. I’d feel better. It’s like the best antidepressant, if you can handle occasional mood swings and intense reactions. But I’m happy. I’m calmer. My life is more consistent. The highs aren’t are high, but neither are the lows. The relationship with my girlfriend has gotten more stable. The fact that I’ve had a girlfriend more than a year is a testament to being off. I’m focusing on my intellectual pursuits once again. Maybe when I’m approaching 40 I’ll consider TRT again. Until then, I’m okay with the way things are, and the way I am.

oceanghost 8y ago
I just turned 40 a few days ago, and after a bad divorce decided to pull my body out of the shitter again. Dealing with a divorce on tren+pose+t is, awful. But the results are hard to argue with. I go to the gym 6 days a week, I lift all the things I'm supposed to, and the weight comes off, and the muscles grow. I've lost a shirt size in 8 weeks; my biceps don't fit in my shirts anymore. In 6 months I'll be unrecognizable, then I am getting out. No matter how much heart I put into the gym, I cannot lose weight with diet and exercise. It is so frustrating dealing with doctors at this age. They'll tell you "diet and exercise" knowing full well you don't have the hormones to lose weight or recover from exercise, and that medical science has proven diets don't work because obesity is primarily a hormonal problem or a reaction to stress. About five years ago, I hired a professional bodybuilder as a diet coach/trainer and he diagnosed me with low T and adrenal insufficiency. I brought the tests to my doc he says, "this is good stuff", and he still won't prescribe T, but he still has the balls to say, "I want to see you at the gym." I am going to run the gauntlet this one last time. Wish I wasn't single, however. I just try to burn it off the energy at the gym. I'm glad you've reached some stability, and thanks for the thoughtful reply. :)
- balfirevic 8y ago
  > and that medical science has proven diets don't work because obesity is primarily a hormonal problem or a reaction to stress Wait, when did that happen?
  - oceanghost 8y ago
    A comma would have made that sentence much better, my apologies. The clinical data on long-term weight loss is miserable. The fact is that almost everyone gains weight back (as high as 95% of patients after 5 years), and something like 60% gain more weight back than they started. I went on to speculate that most people who are obese have an underlying condition.
    - mdomans 8y ago
      They usually have underlying psychological condition which they fail to address. Note that all the "regain" studies were done in cohorts that had either severe problems or lacked proper professional assistance (which these days you can get online for 100USD). The fact that you can loose weight is simple physics. The fact that these people often have endocrine issues is near tautology because adipose tissue HAS endocrine activity and thus ones changes hormonal profile if in excess. Usual set of changes include: insulin resistance, lower testosterone, low thyroid hormones, leptin resistance, higher SHBG and usually higher estrogen. Doesn't mean dieting won't work but if someone is long-term overweight he needs more work than just a difference in bodyweight.
      - oceanghost 8y ago
        For me, it was celiac disease.
        mdomans 8y ago
        It happens. There are multiple others possible problems, but I'd say that it's 20% other and 80% diet

oceanghost 8y ago

I just turned 40 a few days ago, and after a bad divorce decided to pull my body out of the shitter again. Dealing with a divorce on tren+pose+t is, awful. But the results are hard to argue with. I go to the gym 6 days a week, I lift all the things I'm supposed to, and the weight comes off, and the muscles grow. I've lost a shirt size in 8 weeks; my biceps don't fit in my shirts anymore. In 6 months I'll be unrecognizable, then I am getting out. No matter how much heart I put into the gym, I cannot lose weight with diet and exercise. It is so frustrating dealing with doctors at this age. They'll tell you "diet and exercise" knowing full well you don't have the hormones to lose weight or recover from exercise, and that medical science has proven diets don't work because obesity is primarily a hormonal problem or a reaction to stress. About five years ago, I hired a professional bodybuilder as a diet coach/trainer and he diagnosed me with low T and adrenal insufficiency. I brought the tests to my doc he says, "this is good stuff", and he still won't prescribe T, but he still has the balls to say, "I want to see you at the gym." I am going to run the gauntlet this one last time. Wish I wasn't single, however. I just try to burn it off the energy at the gym. I'm glad you've reached some stability, and thanks for the thoughtful reply. :)

balfirevic 8y ago
> and that medical science has proven diets don't work because obesity is primarily a hormonal problem or a reaction to stress Wait, when did that happen?
- oceanghost 8y ago
  A comma would have made that sentence much better, my apologies. The clinical data on long-term weight loss is miserable. The fact is that almost everyone gains weight back (as high as 95% of patients after 5 years), and something like 60% gain more weight back than they started. I went on to speculate that most people who are obese have an underlying condition.
  - mdomans 8y ago
    They usually have underlying psychological condition which they fail to address. Note that all the "regain" studies were done in cohorts that had either severe problems or lacked proper professional assistance (which these days you can get online for 100USD). The fact that you can loose weight is simple physics. The fact that these people often have endocrine issues is near tautology because adipose tissue HAS endocrine activity and thus ones changes hormonal profile if in excess. Usual set of changes include: insulin resistance, lower testosterone, low thyroid hormones, leptin resistance, higher SHBG and usually higher estrogen. Doesn't mean dieting won't work but if someone is long-term overweight he needs more work than just a difference in bodyweight.
    - oceanghost 8y ago
      For me, it was celiac disease.
      - mdomans 8y ago
        It happens. There are multiple others possible problems, but I'd say that it's 20% other and 80% diet