I have felt like this at times, and recognizing that my feelings on the matter change often helps me accept that if I am experiencing anxiety then that feeling

I have felt like this at times, and recognizing that my feelings on the matter change often helps me accept that if I am experiencing anxiety then that feeling will eventually pass. Forgetting the stuff you learn quickly is an asset rather than a liability. It leaves space for future stuff that you will need to pick up. It also shows that you can pick things up and solve problems quickly. I recommend keeping a journal in which you summarize technical tasks that you resolved and that involved learning something new. After several years that will stack up. A big challenge in tech is knowing what the lifespans are for specific technologies. Casting a wide net and focusing my learning by personal interests (in addition to tech hype) has worked out for me. The small technologies seem to win out over the big ones, as they require less effort for people to pick up and adopt, so if learning something seems like a huge effort you are probably not alone and are probably better off looking for alternatives. Career path is an odd one, focus instead on working with the most capable and professional people that you can. If you want to do a side project, I recommend breaking it up into tiny independent chunks. Consider how you would develop a web app without a web server, where would you host it? what tech would you use? what is the least you would have to do to make it useful? Those types of thought exercises are incredibly useful because often in a tech job you aren't making all the choices so you have to invent creative approaches to working with other people's decisions.