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If this person is not leaving, you should leave asap. For your own sanity and safety. I've never seen sociopaths get better, I've only seen them hunt and hurt o

by mkempe 8y ago

If this person is not leaving, you should leave asap. For your own sanity and safety. I've never seen sociopaths get better, I've only seen them hunt and hurt other people.

LinuxBender 8y ago
Perhaps first document everything, daily, with timestamps and no emotion. Provide the documents to HR. If they side with the sociopath, then leave the company and document it on glassdoor so that others are less likely to go there.
- mkempe 8y ago
  I used to think the same. In my experience, documenting and reporting to HR does not solve the problem. You're more likely to be further hurt and disappointed.
  - LinuxBender 8y ago
    That is entirely possible. Each person will have to decide based on the environment they are in if this is advantageous or not. If you are swimming with sharks, perhaps skip directly to glassdoor and finding new opportunities.
- b0rsuk 8y ago
  Generally good advice, but with 5-7 people we're still at the stage where we communicate nearly everything face to face.
b0rsuk 8y ago
But the job is otherwise nice. I'm 34 and was unemployed for for 7 years total. The most pleasant job I had except for that guy. My boss has been programming for 20 years, still enjoys learning new languages, respects me, I respect him (for instance he just left for a holiday and told me he would use that time to learn Rust... I intrigued him talking about it at the job interview, his main programming language is C/embedded and he likes functional - Erlang, Elixir). I think I can just focus on work, put on headphones, tell people they can still ask me for help, and demonstrate that I'm a good and motivated programmer. Let the work do the telling. The only thing I really worry about is that he becomes a team leader and gets to manage me. I would like to prevent that if possible without dropping to his level - if possible. I don't have illusions that I can make him like me. When we're the only 2 people left in the room, we don't talk unless necessary.
- cerberusss 8y ago
  Well, when he does become a team leader, you can still look for another job. Preventing the promotion of someone else sounds like a futile undertaking.
  - b0rsuk 8y ago
    I was also thinking of moving into another department. We currently have 5 people in 2 rooms, soon to be 7 people in 2 rooms, working for 2 branches of the foreign company. I know boss is looking for some C/embedded developer, and I'm FAR from being useful at that post at the moment, but in a half a year or a year if I program Rust in my spare time, I may be.

by mkempe 8y ago

If this person is not leaving, you should leave asap. For your own sanity and safety. I've never seen sociopaths get better, I've only seen them hunt and hurt other people.

LinuxBender 8y ago

Perhaps first document everything, daily, with timestamps and no emotion. Provide the documents to HR. If they side with the sociopath, then leave the company and document it on glassdoor so that others are less likely to go there.

mkempe 8y ago
I used to think the same. In my experience, documenting and reporting to HR does not solve the problem. You're more likely to be further hurt and disappointed.
- LinuxBender 8y ago
  That is entirely possible. Each person will have to decide based on the environment they are in if this is advantageous or not. If you are swimming with sharks, perhaps skip directly to glassdoor and finding new opportunities.
b0rsuk 8y ago
Generally good advice, but with 5-7 people we're still at the stage where we communicate nearly everything face to face.

b0rsuk 8y ago

But the job is otherwise nice. I'm 34 and was unemployed for for 7 years total. The most pleasant job I had except for that guy. My boss has been programming for 20 years, still enjoys learning new languages, respects me, I respect him (for instance he just left for a holiday and told me he would use that time to learn Rust... I intrigued him talking about it at the job interview, his main programming language is C/embedded and he likes functional - Erlang, Elixir). I think I can just focus on work, put on headphones, tell people they can still ask me for help, and demonstrate that I'm a good and motivated programmer. Let the work do the telling. The only thing I really worry about is that he becomes a team leader and gets to manage me. I would like to prevent that if possible without dropping to his level - if possible. I don't have illusions that I can make him like me. When we're the only 2 people left in the room, we don't talk unless necessary.

cerberusss 8y ago
Well, when he does become a team leader, you can still look for another job. Preventing the promotion of someone else sounds like a futile undertaking.
- b0rsuk 8y ago
  I was also thinking of moving into another department. We currently have 5 people in 2 rooms, soon to be 7 people in 2 rooms, working for 2 branches of the foreign company. I know boss is looking for some C/embedded developer, and I'm FAR from being useful at that post at the moment, but in a half a year or a year if I program Rust in my spare time, I may be.