I grew up in Hong Kong, one of the densest place in the world. Most of my childhood, getting to places was either walking or taking a bus (with family). I moved

I grew up in Hong Kong, one of the densest place in the world. Most of my childhood, getting to places was either walking or taking a bus (with family). I moved to the US / SF Bay Area in my teens and while here, experienced living in both the suburbs and the city, as well as my college town ("deep suburbs", if you will). My feeling is that living in the suburb (either where I currently live in a suburb in the bay area, or my college town) is way more pleasant than the city (either HK or SF). I felt this way before I had kids, and I feel this way even more now after having a baby. Yes, you have to drive everywhere. It seems that for some people, "having to drive everywhere" is automatically a negative point, by definition. IMO, it's only negative when you do that in San Francisco, where traffic is everywhere, and you can't park anywhere or have to pay exorbitant parking fees. Take some anecdotes of my current life now. People in SF and cities love to bring up the point of being able to walk to coffee shops, restaurants, bars, parks, and not having to find parking (which is an SF problem). I don't drink, so bars and DUI is not a thing for me. I reach my favorite coffee shop in 10 minutes of local driving (no traffic any time of the day, any day of the week), and there's always ample parking, and there's never a line. Same for all the restaurants I frequent in the east bay (Fremont/Newark/Union City area). Places in the city always have a line; whereas the longest line I've had at my coffee shop was 2 people in front of me. There's always seating available there, unlike most coffee shops in SF. I spend $3 on my favorite coffee there, not $6. This same example works similarly for every other aspect of life really, whether it's restaurants, parks, even urgent care/ER at the hospitals. Drive to get there in 10-15 minutes, there's always parking, no line at the place, and it's cheaper. Same applies for friends, even those who live a city or two away (Milpitas, San Leandro, Castro Valley) -- 15-30 minutes to get there, no traffic. I live in an older part of town, where houses are generally 50+ years old, so you can imagine the kind of neighborhood. I know each one of my neighbors by names. It's not like I grew up here too; I've only lived here for 5 years since I bought the house. Pulling from my own experience, I really don't see how the car keeps us apart, and how living in the city is better. Everything is more expensive, there's more wait time, more transportation time, and people are ruder in general because everyone is understandably frustrated with everything, whether it's patience, gentrification issues, homelessness, etc. In the suburb crawl, everything is the opposite of all of above. People are nicer to each other. I commute to the city for work (because the jobs are mostly in the city), and it's the least favorite part of my life.