Don't make it personal. This is a business transaction. So don't think or talk about it in terms of what you want or what you think you need or what you think i

Don't make it personal. This is a business transaction. So don't think or talk about it in terms of what you want or what you think you need or what you think is fair. That's going to lose the negotiation. Find jobs that are similar to what you actually do (not necessarily the same title or description) and get salary information about them. Pick a number that's in the range of what you can find and go with that. The conversation from there is simple: this is what I'm actually doing, and this is what the market pays for it. That number will either be in your boss's budget or it won't. If it is, the conversation shouldn't be difficult for either one of you. If it isn't, you can negotiate for things that might be available but not counted towards budget. Extra paid vacation, ability to expense some things, etc. If it's just not in the budget, though, you've accomplished a couple of things by keeping it a business transaction. 1. You've put your boss on notice that you know what the market value is for your skills and you've done it without having to play any mind games or go get some other offer to try and negotiate that. And 2. You've just done some of your boss's job for him/her. You've just given data they can use at the next budget meeting so say, "Yeah, this position is getting x amount from everywhere else. We need to match." 3. You've proven that you have an adult understanding of how these things work, which will be very much appreciated. If you let the conversation go personal based on what you feel like you want or need, this is a risky move, whether it's an initial salary negotiation or an incremental. If you say you need this or were hoping for that and the company can't match, you're a flight risk. You have very probably just priced yourself out of a job. Keep it business, appeal to market data, and play your personal feeling close to your vest and you can negotiate for as much as you want without painting yourself into a corner.