I think all of the things you mention can be addressed, it's just that cities often build apartments as a way to increase density only when it's needed rather t

I think all of the things you mention can be addressed, it's just that cities often build apartments as a way to increase density only when it's needed rather than to think things through in a density/walkability first way. Cities can have family sized apartments, with the needed amenities in a way that's designed both for cars/walking/biking/ect.