8 ms·

I always find it strange that going to a therapist is something relatively normal in the US. I don't think I have known anyone who has openly talked about going

• birdmanjeremy 8y ago
  I can't speak for Europeans, but in the US it greatly depends on the person. There are many who are open about seeking help, and many who would never go to a therapist. Talking about problems and issues with someone is important. If it's not friends, or a community leader (priest/rabbi, etc), a therapist is a great option. Do Europeans talk about their problems with their friends more openly? Perhaps this is the cause of the difference?
  • collyw 8y ago
    Girls will definitely talk about their problems more openly (than guys, no idea about how it compares to US women). Guys will probably tough it out to a degree. It really depends on the person and the more local culture (I found people in the South of England very polite, but uncommunicative compared to Scotland).
• chickenfries 8y ago
  Relatively normal where? It's a recent development, and is definitely not true of everyone. My father will probably never see a therapist, even though he most definitely could use one. You aren't "broken" because you go to a therapist.
  • collyw 8y ago
    Normal as in I see references to it in popular culture, US TV shows and films. A Hacker News article, which is international, but must have a heavy US bias. As I say it seems somewhat strange to me. (I hope this doesn't come across as offensive) but why would you go to a therapist of you aren't "broken" to some extent? (Maybe broken isn't the best choice of words, but I think you understand what I mean by it). It's not cheap to go to a therapist is it? It's not something we do over here. If it is more common than I realize then its not something we talk about.
    • chickenfries 8y ago
      I understand what you mean, but I agree that it is not the best word. I see the therapist like going to the gym in many ways. I have some things I would like to change about my body. I would like to lose weight and be more healthy, so I go to the gym. The same with my mental health. It goes up and down with life and it’s trials and tribulations, but I see going to the therapist as maintenance. It’s an hour I spend every week reflecting on my own mental state and talking about it with my therapist. I have anxiety and depression, but I do not think of myself as “broken,” at least not anymore. Life is full of trauma and catastrophe. I think therapy is something most people would benefit from at at least some point in their life.
  • notananthem 8y ago
    Therapy isn't really a "recent" development but its formality and evidence based research has really been refined to something to be proud of in the past 20 years. Yes, its been a shitshow up and down, but so was everything back in the day.
• o_____________o 8y ago
  I wouldn't assume that people going to therapy fall under "more stress and broken". Anecdotally, I've known people that go preemptively to help guide themselves through new chapters in their life. Therapists make sense to me given that in the western world, the role of our elders / guiding parental voices has been greatly diminished.
  • collyw 8y ago
    Maybe that's part of it. There is an underlying assumption that you are having some sort of problems if you need to see a therapist here. Edit: looking at the other comments I am not the only one assuming this : "That is a significant amount of work to engage in for someone who is already in a compromised mental state :'( "
    • o_____________o 8y ago
      There's probably some spillover from the psychotherapy boom in midcentury America. In some circles it was (and probably still is) viewed more as advanced self-exploration than fixing some tragic brokenness. One tends to see therapy used by upwardly mobile urban professionals, as an example. I personally think almost everyone would benefit from a good therapist, though stigma, cost and the view you're expressing are all probably huge obstacles.
  • notananthem 8y ago
    True many people go for high levels of trauma ("broken" is probably a terrible word to describe a human) but many go for guidance or even just low levels of anxiety- the US works so many hours we don't have time for mental health and cooling off like other countries.
• ghostbrainalpha 8y ago
  No one really talks about it but I think what you are lacking is our pro prescription drug culture. I have a minor ADHD that could easily be ignored or worked around. But to stay competitive as a programmer I felt that I needed to to have Adderall to keep up with my colleges. So I went to the therapist. When I got promoted into a position where I was required to present to rooms of 50 people... I sucked. I'm terrible at public speaking. Is that an anxiety disorder, or just a personal weakness? I don't know but either way a trip to the doctor and a prescription of Xanax later and I'm great at talking to a big group. I've been married for 5 years and the wife noticed we don't have the same type of relations that we used to. Saw a marriage counselor for a few visits and she suggested I see a different kind of therapist who could load me up with a little blue pill. Now marriage problems are gone too. Is that gross to you? Do you think we shouldn't take a pill for everything? Because a part of me in the back of my head, is like "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?". But the bigger part of brain is happy to go with flow. See a doctor for everything, and if I have doubts about the amount of medication I'm taking.... well, there is a pill to help with that too.
  • WalterGR 8y ago
    You didn’t see a “therapist” to get speed, downers, or penis pills. Therapists don’t prescribe medication. Psychiatrists, physicians, and other medical doctors (MDs) do. I think it’s disingenuous to link people going to therapists in order to talk through their problems with your medication-centered problem-solving approach, or with drug-seeking behavior.
• tathougies 8y ago
  Americans have systematically destroyed / left the various community organizations and ties and/or interpersonal relationships that in the past would have been the place to go for these things. Like, after our seven miscarriages, people suggested a therapist, which we saw. We saw the top rated therapist in our area for pregnancy loss grief, but honestly, she was quite useless in comparison to our two sets of married in-laws (quite a rarity these days), our priest, our deacon, and our deacon's wife, who have been significantly more helpful simply by being there and being close to us. The thing is that therapy can be bought, and Americans love spending money on things. You can't buy relationships. This is my -- admittedly completely unfounded -- explanation.
  • nostrademons 8y ago
    I think there's a lot of truth to your comment, but the other side of it is that voluntary community & interpersonal relationships are all self-selected and reciprocal, and so you get significant selection bias in their advice. Oftentimes, if you have persistent dysfunction in your life, your relationships are part of the problem, but you can't see that because those are the only folks you hang out with. I can't imagine asking my high-school friends (who were largely potheads with no career ambitions beyond working retail) for advice about getting over my fears about starting a company, for example. Or, later in life, wondering why I didn't have a girlfriend when many of my friends were nerdy workaholic commitment-phobic males. It took a perspective beyond the folks I normally hung out with to break out of my old habits. These are different from acute crises like grief, which can usually be handled through sympathetic relationships. A therapist's incentives are strictly financial (well, mostly - many of them do also want to help in general) and their time with you is bounded by 50-minute hours, and so they're oftentimes willing to take on clients that they would not be willing to have as friends.
    • tathougies 8y ago
      I would agree with you. I would not go to my priest or my parents for business advice. That being said, I think that calls into importance the civil organizations I mentioned before. How many young people are in any kind of community organization? I'd venture not many. The advantage of these kinds of community organizations is that they contain many kinds of people, united by being in the same place, rather than any common interest. The advent of social media has kind of decimated these organizations, but they're hugely important. As a point of fact, my wife and I have met many friends through simply being in our local diocesan youth group. While we are both software engineers, most of the people we meet through the group are not. We know plumbers, teachers, entrepreneurs, video techs, etc. If we want perspective outside those of people just like us, we would just go here. If I wanted to start a business, for example, I'd just go to my men's club, and ask one of the older guys who own a business, instead of my parents or my friends. Why hire a therapist, when these guys are perfectly happy to help? All I have to do to get their advice and pick their brains is to take one evening off every month to have snacks, drink beer, and be their friend. I can not tell you how many old people in these organizations are happy to have some young blood show up and participate. Don't get me wrong... if you don't have any of these in your life, then it makes sense for some situations to pay for it. But I do think it's sad we have all but eliminated these groups.
• notananthem 8y ago
  Its becoming less stigmatized in the US, but it is present all over the world. My parents are both doctors (therapists), my uncle is a doctor (therapist), I have a handful of family I'm aware of who see therapists (not due to any crazy trauma or anything, just not stigmatized in a family business). My father traveled all over the world sharing evidence based research with other international researchers in India, Japan, Korea, Russia, Germany, Spain, etc. Now he focuses on research oversight in the US but trust me, its very common, just not talked about due to stigmas surrounding mental health.
• hazard 8y ago
  I think that a big part of this is that the "willing to admit it" part has become slightly more de-stigmatized, particularly after the recent suicides of some high-profile celebrities. There's a vicious cycle at work here: People don't want to talk about going to a therapist since they are worried about being seen as "broken", so people who could benefit from therapy don't seek it out because they don't know anyone else who does, so it becomes more unusual, which creates more of a stigma against it Edit: I also think that perceptions are changing around, what, specifically, is broken. Your post mentions "broken people", but if a person had cancer, or a fractured bone, or an infection, we wouldn't say that the person is broken. Similarly, I think we need to realize that people with mental health issues have issues with brain chemistry, rather than being broken people.
• everdev 8y ago
  Many indigenous cultures regularly practice community and individual healing. So, healing is an accent tradition but the new part is paying for it and some of the more modern methodologies as the older traditions are more somatic and spiritual.
• josephjrobison 8y ago
  Anecdotally, it’s still taboo to go to a therapist in the U.S., but I think it shouldn’t be. The other child comments here are pretty good, I’ll just add that I’m familiar with a few psychology students and in their training they’ve helped a lot of undergrads get through some tough problems. I never considered therapy as an option within reach at any point in my life, but I think it could have and can in the future help me, and 90% of people. If you’re opposed to it, you can actually think of it as better understanding your brain and leveling up your life and career. PhD students go through 5-8 years of training on understanding the brain and human behavior. Even if one doesn’t have serious problems, it’s likely a huge help.
• crazygringo 8y ago
  In my anecdotal experience, Europe is behind the US, i.e. "more ashamed" as you put it -- the benefits of therapy just haven't sunk into culture generally. But to echo other commenters, it's not exactly something people are very open about in the US either, you wouldn't usually tell anyone but your very closest friends, and sometimes not even them. But I think there's more widespread acceptance in the US that therapy has value for many people and isn't quack science, while many Europeans are quicker to reflexively dismiss it or stigmatize it as for people who are "broken". Therapy doesn't have anything to do with being broken. Again, just anecdotal from the people I know and attitudes I've heard... zero data to back it up.
  • mercer 8y ago
    As another anecdote, in my < 30 (Dutch) urban surroundings people seem to be quite open about going to therapy and even talking about the details and what medication that might be on.
• aidenn0 8y ago
  I think the biggest factor is that increased mobility in the US means people are likely to be far away from family support systems. (To give you an idea, it's a longer trip from where I live to my parents than London to Moskow, despite us both being in the US). I think marriage counseling being so big is also affected by the heterogeneity of culture; it's very likely that you and your spouse have quite different backgrounds and expectations across a gamut of things.
• deleted 8y ago
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