Are you seriously dismissing offhand theoretically sound and experimentally-verified core tenets of quantum mechanics? It's not like they're making this stuff

Are you seriously dismissing offhand theoretically sound and experimentally-verified core tenets of quantum mechanics? It's not like they're making this stuff up. It falls very straightforwardly out of the mathematics underpinning quantum mechanics, we have tested these things, and we have conclusively disproven the existence of any type of hidden variable theory. That's not to say quantum mechanics is faultless and complete, but any new theory is going to have to incorporate these results rather than throw them out entirely (much like how Newtonian physics "falls out" of general relativity at low speeds and small masses.