8 ms·

Dude, if you love your friends and family, why are you referring to their attempts to stay in touch as 'drivel'? That's a really negative, condescending word.

by zasz 8y ago

sneak 8y ago
Take him at his word; he can love them and their interruptions can still be drivel. Most normal peoples’ routine text messages are.
- asdffdsa321 8y ago
  Yes and the word drivel is a patronizing word betraying a self-importance that can lead to neediness/abasement in people that admire you, and a disgust in people that don't. Putting yourself on a pedastel is a bad practice in my opinion. His last line '...I can't have their drivel constantly loop around in my head' is repulsive.
  - ravenstine 8y ago
    If someone is disgusted or offended that I am not going to treat every interaction with equal importance, they really don't have to associate with me. That's plain and simple. Am I an asshole? Well, ask different people and you'll get varying responses; I know this because when I was becoming more aware of who I am, I wanted to find out how I was perceived. Sure, a lot of people will always be nice and not say an unkind word, but I also don't think some of those people would voluntarily befriend me on an extracurricular basis if they were that disgusted by me. Yes, my last line was undoubtedly harsh. That's certainly not how I always feel, and probably not most of the time. But it can sometimes be "drivel" because they'll know that I'm particularly engrossed with something, and they should know that I prefer solitude in those cases, yet they try to get me to spend my time on things I don't have any real interest in. Usually, I'll try to schedule a time to make them happy, but I still do not appreciate interruption when I'm busy, and I'm often going to take my time in replying to requests. Besides, if you lived my life, you might see things this way.
  - idontpost 8y ago
    I'm guessing based on his reference to the public school system treating his way of thinking like a disease that he's probably somewhere mild on the autism spectrum, so thinking about social nuances isn't his strong suit. Assuming that's correct, I don't think its fair to characterize his thinking as repulsive when its really just a coping mechanism for dealing with his personal limitations. Its rude, yes, but its not meant to be malicious or cruel.
    - asdffdsa321 8y ago
      That line to me is repulsive in the most literal sense. I don't want to hang out with him when I hear it. Rudeness is repulsive
    - ravenstine 8y ago
      While I'm sure your intentions are good, I'd be careful to make unprofessional psychological diagnoses over the internet. People should find that more offensive than my relatively benign choice of words. I'm not offended by what you have to say, but it's not exactly correct. To provide some background, I was referring to my being diagnosed with ADD back in school. I'm unsure whether I even have it since I was a fat loner kid back in school who was disinterested in being somewhere he was frequently being harassed. I don't think most grown adults would bother accomplishing much in an office where some dweeb was regularly sabotaging them. Grown ups found it easier to drug me than to discipline multiple bullies. I do think it's possible that I have ADD, but I don't think that's the underlying reason as to why I was being drugged rather than being put in an environment where I could thrive. The latter is much harder for an inefficient, dysfunctional system. You're wrong in that I do actually think about social nuances a lot. My lightbulb is a little dim in that area, my second nature being more of a third nature with those things, but that doesn't mean I'm unaware of them at all. I acknowledge and understand why some people find me rude, and that's not evidence of autism. As you say, I'm not a cruel person. I go out of my way to help friends when they are in need, to encourage others, to make amends when I know I've done wrong, etc. I think about other's feelings a lot because I have a lot of intense feelings myself. Sure, I'm rude, but not usually, and not to be cruel. I've never used words like "drivel" to someone's face, and usually do my best to honor people's communications or at least humor them when I'm not exactly thrilled with what they have to say. But I'm not ashamed to say that when someone texts me some viral video or whatnot, that it's an interruption not worthy of a timely response. Some people ought to grow up, though. The fact that someone is disgusted because of a person's diction, or that the latter person thinks people say a lot of irrelevant things, shows a lack of empowerment. A person confident in themself shouldn't feel such distaste for the relatively minor shortcomings of others. I'm sure that most people find my interests to be drivel, and I'm not bothered by that in the slightest. I do love people, for sure, but I don't require them to love me back, as would be suggested by me putting on a face and doing things to try keep their love. I think I require very little from people, and if a person can't handle me or my choice of words on Hacker News, they're free to move on.
ravenstine 8y ago
I'll take that into consideration, and my choice of words wasn't very good in that regard. Often, what they interrupt me with is not drivel to them. I still stand by the notion that not every interruption is worth my timely attention, as I would not expect any of these same people to care about anything I do or say, but what you said has been duly noted.

Dude, if you love your friends and family, why are you referring to their attempts to stay in touch as 'drivel'? That's a really negative, condescending word.

by zasz 8y ago

Dude, if you love your friends and family, why are you referring to their attempts to stay in touch as 'drivel'? That's a really negative, condescending word.

sneak 8y ago

Take him at his word; he can love them and their interruptions can still be drivel. Most normal peoples’ routine text messages are.

asdffdsa321 8y ago
Yes and the word drivel is a patronizing word betraying a self-importance that can lead to neediness/abasement in people that admire you, and a disgust in people that don't. Putting yourself on a pedastel is a bad practice in my opinion. His last line '...I can't have their drivel constantly loop around in my head' is repulsive.
- ravenstine 8y ago
  If someone is disgusted or offended that I am not going to treat every interaction with equal importance, they really don't have to associate with me. That's plain and simple. Am I an asshole? Well, ask different people and you'll get varying responses; I know this because when I was becoming more aware of who I am, I wanted to find out how I was perceived. Sure, a lot of people will always be nice and not say an unkind word, but I also don't think some of those people would voluntarily befriend me on an extracurricular basis if they were that disgusted by me. Yes, my last line was undoubtedly harsh. That's certainly not how I always feel, and probably not most of the time. But it can sometimes be "drivel" because they'll know that I'm particularly engrossed with something, and they should know that I prefer solitude in those cases, yet they try to get me to spend my time on things I don't have any real interest in. Usually, I'll try to schedule a time to make them happy, but I still do not appreciate interruption when I'm busy, and I'm often going to take my time in replying to requests. Besides, if you lived my life, you might see things this way.
- idontpost 8y ago
  I'm guessing based on his reference to the public school system treating his way of thinking like a disease that he's probably somewhere mild on the autism spectrum, so thinking about social nuances isn't his strong suit. Assuming that's correct, I don't think its fair to characterize his thinking as repulsive when its really just a coping mechanism for dealing with his personal limitations. Its rude, yes, but its not meant to be malicious or cruel.
  - asdffdsa321 8y ago
    That line to me is repulsive in the most literal sense. I don't want to hang out with him when I hear it. Rudeness is repulsive
  - ravenstine 8y ago
    While I'm sure your intentions are good, I'd be careful to make unprofessional psychological diagnoses over the internet. People should find that more offensive than my relatively benign choice of words. I'm not offended by what you have to say, but it's not exactly correct. To provide some background, I was referring to my being diagnosed with ADD back in school. I'm unsure whether I even have it since I was a fat loner kid back in school who was disinterested in being somewhere he was frequently being harassed. I don't think most grown adults would bother accomplishing much in an office where some dweeb was regularly sabotaging them. Grown ups found it easier to drug me than to discipline multiple bullies. I do think it's possible that I have ADD, but I don't think that's the underlying reason as to why I was being drugged rather than being put in an environment where I could thrive. The latter is much harder for an inefficient, dysfunctional system. You're wrong in that I do actually think about social nuances a lot. My lightbulb is a little dim in that area, my second nature being more of a third nature with those things, but that doesn't mean I'm unaware of them at all. I acknowledge and understand why some people find me rude, and that's not evidence of autism. As you say, I'm not a cruel person. I go out of my way to help friends when they are in need, to encourage others, to make amends when I know I've done wrong, etc. I think about other's feelings a lot because I have a lot of intense feelings myself. Sure, I'm rude, but not usually, and not to be cruel. I've never used words like "drivel" to someone's face, and usually do my best to honor people's communications or at least humor them when I'm not exactly thrilled with what they have to say. But I'm not ashamed to say that when someone texts me some viral video or whatnot, that it's an interruption not worthy of a timely response. Some people ought to grow up, though. The fact that someone is disgusted because of a person's diction, or that the latter person thinks people say a lot of irrelevant things, shows a lack of empowerment. A person confident in themself shouldn't feel such distaste for the relatively minor shortcomings of others. I'm sure that most people find my interests to be drivel, and I'm not bothered by that in the slightest. I do love people, for sure, but I don't require them to love me back, as would be suggested by me putting on a face and doing things to try keep their love. I think I require very little from people, and if a person can't handle me or my choice of words on Hacker News, they're free to move on.

ravenstine 8y ago

I'll take that into consideration, and my choice of words wasn't very good in that regard. Often, what they interrupt me with is not drivel to them. I still stand by the notion that not every interruption is worth my timely attention, as I would not expect any of these same people to care about anything I do or say, but what you said has been duly noted.