How do you know the guaranteed fairy isn't some crazy glue sniffer. He sneaks into your house once and that's all it takes. Next thing you know, there is money

How do you know the guaranteed fairy isn't some crazy glue sniffer. He sneaks into your house once and that's all it takes. Next thing you know, there is money missing off your dresser and your daughter is knocked up! I've seen it a hundred times. If you want me to take a dump in a box, and mark it guaranteed I will... I've got spare time. - Tommy Boy