3 ms·

Do the therapist thing, exercise, eat right, etc...That is all important. Good pay, Good job, blah blah. None of that is really relevant, that is some externall

Do the therapist thing, exercise, eat right, etc...That is all important. Good pay, Good job, blah blah. None of that is really relevant, that is some externally defined bullshit. If you are burning out and waking up with anxiety you need to back up and figure out the root cause. I just suffered through 2 months of this for the 10th time in the last 20 years. This time it was a bit more intense. I have been through enough shit in my life, fire arms in my face in foreign countries, losing loved ones, the list goes on like most folks. None of that shook me like this recent bout of corporate fuckery. I think you need to dig deep and analyze all of the variables. Without knowing more about your personal life, age and financial position it is hard to say what the right thing to do is in a socially acceptable sense. If there are stress triggers you need to figure out how to manage those. End of the day it is probably just a bad fit. It could simply be "toxic" for you. The pay/resume cred doesn't matter if it makes you miserable and degrades your mental/emotional/physical well being. A bad fit is a bad fit. Chalk it up to life experience and apply what you learn as you continue on down the path. All the money, social acceptance, don't take it for granted, first world problems stuff isn't something to get hung up on. Dead that noise. Look at your life, who you were, how you have acted in the past, who you are today, there are always patterns and a root cause. You need to focus on the self. What makes sense for YOU. If you are miserable just roll out. If you can take a week or three off, do that. Communicate with HR or your boss, keep it real. It takes some stones to be open and honest about this kind of thing but you might be surprised at what kind of support you can receive. Worst case just go to the doc and then let HR know. I am willing to bet that you can take a month or more off via personal leave with no real consequence due to "job related" illness. When in doubt, review your handy dandy corporate handbook. Start to take control of the situation. It is your life. Own it. Don't throw yourself under the bus for no reason. Make change, don't be a victim...especially not to your own sub-conscious acrobatics.

taparisbat3 8y ago
10 times in 20 years. Wow. How do you deal with it? What causes your thing? How long does it last? Do you feel shame (I do) when depressed?
- edge_less 8y ago
  Over time I have simply learned to just navigate it better. I view all of this on a continuum. I don't compartmentalize things into categories like depression...it is simply part of the human experience. Most of it is internal, it flares up when I engage in things that aren't a natural fit for me. That could be related to interpersonal relationships, jobs, moving to a location that doesn't make sense or similar. Each year that passes I become more self aware and it let's me navigate this world a bit more effectively. I am a very empathetic person, I don't do well with this "me, me, me" world. For years I would always put others in front of myself so that constantly lead to major flare ups. Self neglect is in no way a healthy approach to life. I am mildly allergic to capitalism and "the machine" which does complicate day to day life here in the US. The length of each cycle depends on how many things are layered into the mix at any given time. It could last a few weeks to 3-4 months. Eventually I would just wear myself out until I was forced to make change. Luckily I do not ever feel shame. I got lucky on that one. I don't really look for any external approval in life so it is easier to not get caught up in a negative loop regarding self-esteem, self-worth. There is no harsher critic of myself than me. The last bout was fierce. After months of waking up feeling physically sick, I am finally getting through that but there are still triggers. (The weekly scheduled meetings, the "ding" from incoming emails, and similar lead to minor flare ups) I think taking time to fully define success and what it means to you at this point in your life is critical. The more I go after $, the more unnatural it feels. I think many of us get sucked into this misguided notion that financial success=security/freedom, when in reality it is simply perceived that way. It is not a tangible, real thing. Either way, you are acknowledging it and trying to figure it all out. Those are the hard steps, facing it and holding yourself accountable in some capacity (not in excess;) Once you start making changes you will be empowered. Nobody can take that away from you, if it starts to dissipate that is on you. Fight for it. Run with it.
  - taparisbat3 8y ago
    I have suicidal ideations, shame and start isolating myself.. This is hard because I wait for people to come toward me but these people don't care so you just end up feeling alone and depressed. I hope to figure this out in my life. What do you mean by physically sick? Can you interact with people normally? Me me world is difficult for me too but also because I find it difficult to handle stuff just by myself

taparisbat3 8y ago

10 times in 20 years. Wow. How do you deal with it? What causes your thing? How long does it last? Do you feel shame (I do) when depressed?

edge_less 8y ago
Over time I have simply learned to just navigate it better. I view all of this on a continuum. I don't compartmentalize things into categories like depression...it is simply part of the human experience. Most of it is internal, it flares up when I engage in things that aren't a natural fit for me. That could be related to interpersonal relationships, jobs, moving to a location that doesn't make sense or similar. Each year that passes I become more self aware and it let's me navigate this world a bit more effectively. I am a very empathetic person, I don't do well with this "me, me, me" world. For years I would always put others in front of myself so that constantly lead to major flare ups. Self neglect is in no way a healthy approach to life. I am mildly allergic to capitalism and "the machine" which does complicate day to day life here in the US. The length of each cycle depends on how many things are layered into the mix at any given time. It could last a few weeks to 3-4 months. Eventually I would just wear myself out until I was forced to make change. Luckily I do not ever feel shame. I got lucky on that one. I don't really look for any external approval in life so it is easier to not get caught up in a negative loop regarding self-esteem, self-worth. There is no harsher critic of myself than me. The last bout was fierce. After months of waking up feeling physically sick, I am finally getting through that but there are still triggers. (The weekly scheduled meetings, the "ding" from incoming emails, and similar lead to minor flare ups) I think taking time to fully define success and what it means to you at this point in your life is critical. The more I go after $, the more unnatural it feels. I think many of us get sucked into this misguided notion that financial success=security/freedom, when in reality it is simply perceived that way. It is not a tangible, real thing. Either way, you are acknowledging it and trying to figure it all out. Those are the hard steps, facing it and holding yourself accountable in some capacity (not in excess;) Once you start making changes you will be empowered. Nobody can take that away from you, if it starts to dissipate that is on you. Fight for it. Run with it.
- taparisbat3 8y ago
  I have suicidal ideations, shame and start isolating myself.. This is hard because I wait for people to come toward me but these people don't care so you just end up feeling alone and depressed. I hope to figure this out in my life. What do you mean by physically sick? Can you interact with people normally? Me me world is difficult for me too but also because I find it difficult to handle stuff just by myself