4 ms·

I have autism and dyslexia and I wouldn't change it for the world. That said, I understand autism varies a lot person to person so I can only offer my experienc

by kypro 8y ago

I have autism and dyslexia and I wouldn't change it for the world. That said, I understand autism varies a lot person to person so I can only offer my experience. For me my problems in life have never been a result of my autism or dyslexia, but a result of how people expect or want me to be. I won't go into details, but I know I'm pretty smart and I've achieved more than most people I know largely because of my autistic obsession with anything I'm passionate about. However I've also found my professional life to be extremely hard now I'm at a more senior level in my career. I can't communicate well. I hate social interaction. People often think I'm rude because I don't ask how their weekend was or make eye contact. And on occasion I can come across mean and cold without meaning to do so because find it difficult to empathise. I lost a job a few years back because of my autism and over the course of my career I've been rejected from countless positions because of my poor communication skills or being "a bad culture fit". I'm not bad at all communication though, I'm fine explaining things with text, diagrams and examples. Plus, I'm a really good developer. But non of that ever seems to matter. Sometimes I wonder if it is even me with the problem, or if it's really that people have a problem with me and how I work. Who cares if I'm not overly social? I've never minded it. I quite like being non-verbal and obsessive honestly. But I guess I can understand where neurotypicals are coming from to some extent. Sometimes I wish more people were like me too. Sometimes I wish I could treat people who think talking about their weekend or celebrating the birthday of a colleague they dislike is more important than doing something productive. But you know, I also appreciate not everyone is like me, or needs to be just like me to be worth a damn. Perhaps I'm just venting. I understand some autistic children are completely not functional and need some help. It just upsets me when people think autism needs treating because it's probably the thing I genuinely love the most about myself.

SubiculumCode 8y ago
There is a lot to be said for the neuro-diversity argument and movement, the support for which I think has been driven in part by the broadening of the phenotype to those that are less severely affected. For those that are severely affected, ASD can be devastating, including completely disabling anxiety and phobias, extreme sensory sensitivity, low verbal ability and/or IQ, elevated depression and suicide, increased rates of homelessness, and so on. Those are the people that really motivate me in my research.
- kypro 8y ago
  Yeah, aside from phobias I have all of those. I didn't know anxiety and depression was linked though? I have severe anxiety, much worse than anyone I've ever met. At times dealing with that has been equally as challenging for me. My depression can get pretty bad too although that seems to have eased up a bit over the last couple of years. Sensory sensitivity is something I experience. I feel unbelievably angry whenever I hear loud or tinny noises, but thankfully I can mostly control that. People think I'm strange for always carrying earplugs and wearing them in public, but I've found it really helps to relax me in busy / noisy situations. Could you comment on how is IQ linked, I'd be really interest if you have some more information? Is it normally negatively, because I've heard people on the spectrum often score higher on average? I've had IQ anxiety for a while now because on one hand I know in many way I've been very competent in life, but on the other hand consistently struggled when it comes to the most basic tasks. I took a Mensa IQ test a few months back and scored 132 which I think may actually be on the lower end because of how language heavy Mensa's tests are.
  - SubiculumCode 8y ago
    I'd say that median IQ in ASD is very similar to non-ASD, but the mean is much lower in ASD. That is because a sub-population within the ASD spectrum have very low IQs (e.g., 40-60 being very common). One difficulty with all of this is saple bias. Most studies only deal with higher functioning ASD because low-functioning ASD can be challenging to study. Early on, ASD tended to be only diagnosed in more affluent families, so that could bend IQs upward too in samples. Its a spectrum, and sometimes there is intellectual disability, and sometimes the impact on quality of life minimal or just different. In others no sign of it at all. If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism. Its all very challenging,a nd why there is so much effort being applied to trying to define phenotypes.
mindgam3 8y ago
You sound like a fairly self aware person. I’m curious - have you considered practicing social skills like making occasional eye contact, etc? Speaking as someone with enough “issues” (ability to concentrate deeply, socialization issues, awkwardness around eye contact) that I could apply the autism label to myself if I chose to. The reason I choose not to label myself this way is that I’ve learned to overcome many of my old hangups like avoiding eye contact. It’s true what you say about it holding back your career. When I decided to set out as an entrepreneur I was pretty much forced to up my game in this area. So I did. I can still relate to anyone who struggles with these skills, but I also know it’s possible to overcome them. Somewhere way deep down I’m still a shy awkward dev, but I’ve gotten good at enough at being charming that I can close angel and VC deals. At this point I’m not even sure if the “real me” is the awkward one. Maybe my true nature is gregarious and unafraid, and I only learned how to retreat into my shell as a defense mechanism against chronic childhood abuse, which I’m finally coming to terms with after a solid 20 years of confusion. Anyway, I wish you’d best of luck and I encourage you to challenge yourself (safely) - I really wish more knowledgeable devs would feel empowered to learn these skills and take on higher level business roles. If you don’t do it, all the leadership positions end up being taken by people who are good at being charming but not much else.
- kypro 8y ago
  I think I came across as a bit of a "victim" in my comment, but the attitude you've described here is very much how I approach life. You can definitely learn social skills, and almost anyone who wants a good career needs to have at least some ability to hold a conversation and be approachable. That said, if you're sufficiently on the spectrum you're probably never going to pass as "normal" but you can be good enough. I guess what upsets me is that I feel like to be successful I have to be less myself. I think you might feel this too based on what you said: > At this point I’m not even sure if the “real me” is the awkward one. So yeah, I do try my best to improve. I have to if I want what's best for the people I love. But I often wish I didn't have to and society would work around my communication preferences instead for a change. There are certainly days I get tired of being someone else and think screw it for better or worse, but I think I'm getting a little better at it every day.
gowld 8y ago
This is what happens when the same term is used for different conditions. Imagine if someone put forth a cure for lupus (an autoimmune disorder), but lupus was called "immune system disorder", and people replied "my immune system is one of my favorite parts of myself! I don't mind getting a fever occasionally." Going back to the article, whose details you might have overlooked in your first read through. > In the trial, 42 children with autism who played the games for 20 hours got better at recognizing facial expressions and at related tasks. Would being able to recognize faces harm your self-identity and quality of life? > The players who made the most progress in the game also showed the greatest improvements in their balance, >The researchers are assessing whether the players also improve their posture and balance while getting dressed. Would being able to balance on your feet and dress yourself be harmful to you? > aims to improve various aspects of attention, especially cognitive control, or the ability to juggle different tasks and ignore irrelevant information. Would being able to ignore unwanted distractions hurt your productivity?
- mmt 8y ago
  > but lupus was called "immune system disorder", Well, worse than that, even.. it would be like "immune systemism" (with "disorder" being implied). The ambiguity and implication in the article's title is very unfortunate. As you point out, what the article documents as being treated is not autism itself (which may not even be a single "thing"), but, rather, specific disorders that are strongly correlated with what is identified as autism. More importantly, though, the treatments all seem (admittedly subjectively) like empowerment and skills training, and less like brainwashing or coercion into "normal" behavior.
jbob2000 8y ago
I would hesitate to call you autistic if your only symptoms are poor eye contact and social interaction. It just seems like a burdensome label for problems that anyone could have. I don't know your situation, but if you can get past the label, then maybe you can get past its effects!

by kypro 8y ago

SubiculumCode 8y ago

There is a lot to be said for the neuro-diversity argument and movement, the support for which I think has been driven in part by the broadening of the phenotype to those that are less severely affected. For those that are severely affected, ASD can be devastating, including completely disabling anxiety and phobias, extreme sensory sensitivity, low verbal ability and/or IQ, elevated depression and suicide, increased rates of homelessness, and so on. Those are the people that really motivate me in my research.

kypro 8y ago
Yeah, aside from phobias I have all of those. I didn't know anxiety and depression was linked though? I have severe anxiety, much worse than anyone I've ever met. At times dealing with that has been equally as challenging for me. My depression can get pretty bad too although that seems to have eased up a bit over the last couple of years. Sensory sensitivity is something I experience. I feel unbelievably angry whenever I hear loud or tinny noises, but thankfully I can mostly control that. People think I'm strange for always carrying earplugs and wearing them in public, but I've found it really helps to relax me in busy / noisy situations. Could you comment on how is IQ linked, I'd be really interest if you have some more information? Is it normally negatively, because I've heard people on the spectrum often score higher on average? I've had IQ anxiety for a while now because on one hand I know in many way I've been very competent in life, but on the other hand consistently struggled when it comes to the most basic tasks. I took a Mensa IQ test a few months back and scored 132 which I think may actually be on the lower end because of how language heavy Mensa's tests are.
- SubiculumCode 8y ago
  I'd say that median IQ in ASD is very similar to non-ASD, but the mean is much lower in ASD. That is because a sub-population within the ASD spectrum have very low IQs (e.g., 40-60 being very common). One difficulty with all of this is saple bias. Most studies only deal with higher functioning ASD because low-functioning ASD can be challenging to study. Early on, ASD tended to be only diagnosed in more affluent families, so that could bend IQs upward too in samples. Its a spectrum, and sometimes there is intellectual disability, and sometimes the impact on quality of life minimal or just different. In others no sign of it at all. If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism. Its all very challenging,a nd why there is so much effort being applied to trying to define phenotypes.

mindgam3 8y ago

You sound like a fairly self aware person. I’m curious - have you considered practicing social skills like making occasional eye contact, etc? Speaking as someone with enough “issues” (ability to concentrate deeply, socialization issues, awkwardness around eye contact) that I could apply the autism label to myself if I chose to. The reason I choose not to label myself this way is that I’ve learned to overcome many of my old hangups like avoiding eye contact. It’s true what you say about it holding back your career. When I decided to set out as an entrepreneur I was pretty much forced to up my game in this area. So I did. I can still relate to anyone who struggles with these skills, but I also know it’s possible to overcome them. Somewhere way deep down I’m still a shy awkward dev, but I’ve gotten good at enough at being charming that I can close angel and VC deals. At this point I’m not even sure if the “real me” is the awkward one. Maybe my true nature is gregarious and unafraid, and I only learned how to retreat into my shell as a defense mechanism against chronic childhood abuse, which I’m finally coming to terms with after a solid 20 years of confusion. Anyway, I wish you’d best of luck and I encourage you to challenge yourself (safely) - I really wish more knowledgeable devs would feel empowered to learn these skills and take on higher level business roles. If you don’t do it, all the leadership positions end up being taken by people who are good at being charming but not much else.

kypro 8y ago
I think I came across as a bit of a "victim" in my comment, but the attitude you've described here is very much how I approach life. You can definitely learn social skills, and almost anyone who wants a good career needs to have at least some ability to hold a conversation and be approachable. That said, if you're sufficiently on the spectrum you're probably never going to pass as "normal" but you can be good enough. I guess what upsets me is that I feel like to be successful I have to be less myself. I think you might feel this too based on what you said: > At this point I’m not even sure if the “real me” is the awkward one. So yeah, I do try my best to improve. I have to if I want what's best for the people I love. But I often wish I didn't have to and society would work around my communication preferences instead for a change. There are certainly days I get tired of being someone else and think screw it for better or worse, but I think I'm getting a little better at it every day.

gowld 8y ago

This is what happens when the same term is used for different conditions. Imagine if someone put forth a cure for lupus (an autoimmune disorder), but lupus was called "immune system disorder", and people replied "my immune system is one of my favorite parts of myself! I don't mind getting a fever occasionally." Going back to the article, whose details you might have overlooked in your first read through. > In the trial, 42 children with autism who played the games for 20 hours got better at recognizing facial expressions and at related tasks. Would being able to recognize faces harm your self-identity and quality of life? > The players who made the most progress in the game also showed the greatest improvements in their balance, >The researchers are assessing whether the players also improve their posture and balance while getting dressed. Would being able to balance on your feet and dress yourself be harmful to you? > aims to improve various aspects of attention, especially cognitive control, or the ability to juggle different tasks and ignore irrelevant information. Would being able to ignore unwanted distractions hurt your productivity?

mmt 8y ago
> but lupus was called "immune system disorder", Well, worse than that, even.. it would be like "immune systemism" (with "disorder" being implied). The ambiguity and implication in the article's title is very unfortunate. As you point out, what the article documents as being treated is not autism itself (which may not even be a single "thing"), but, rather, specific disorders that are strongly correlated with what is identified as autism. More importantly, though, the treatments all seem (admittedly subjectively) like empowerment and skills training, and less like brainwashing or coercion into "normal" behavior.

jbob2000 8y ago

I would hesitate to call you autistic if your only symptoms are poor eye contact and social interaction. It just seems like a burdensome label for problems that anyone could have. I don't know your situation, but if you can get past the label, then maybe you can get past its effects!