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If that treatment plan disturbs you, have you made your advanced directive plan so that the same thing doesn't happen to you? You could be hit by a bus tomorrow

If that treatment plan disturbs you, have you made your advanced directive plan so that the same thing doesn't happen to you? You could be hit by a bus tomorrow and unable to talk / write your desires down. What would you want if you found yourself in a hospital bed without a decent shot of getting out of it?

frereubu 8y ago
This is a very important point, whichever choice you make in advance. My father was in a similar situation after a large stroke, a decline into pneumonia, and was clearly not going to survive. He'd made his wishes clear in advance so we felt untroubled by this course of action. The fact that he essentially starved and dehydrated to death was what we knew he wanted given the other options. He was under constant medical supervision to make sure it was as painless as possible, rather than struggling on through what he would have thought was a pointlessly drawn-out and painful death. Make sure the people close to you know what you want. You may not get a chance to express your wishes at the time, and taking the burden of that choice off the people you leave behind will be greatly appreciated, however awkward and difficult the initial conversation is.
aaron695 8y ago
> If that treatment plan disturbs you, have you made your advanced directive plan so that the same thing doesn't happen to you? OPs statement as I read it, their grandmother fully chose the best option she thought she had at the time and it disturbed OP, so not sure of the point about pre-choosing. I guess perhaps to say, they would prefer not to be killed just because there isn't a decent shot? I'd prefer a hospital system that didn't do that, but I guess until we get one maybe it might be needed. And as always, rather than planing for death, what about planning for life. Work on the thing in your life that might cause the issue in the first place. Planning for death is giving up in some regard.
- rabboRubble 8y ago
  > Planning for death is giving up in some regard. I'm in my 40s and have a full estate plan including a will & trust, technical recovery how-to's, and my advanced care directives documented. If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, I don't want a) my estate drained for bullshit care that won't fix me, b) or the people caring for me and executing my post-death instructions burdened unnecessarily. If I am a vegetable and the spark that makes me, me is gone, pull the plug. If I don't have the mental ability to ask for food or water, pull the plug. If I am in so much pain I am out of my mind, bring on the opiates and large doses please. I haven't given up and I have no plans to die any time soon. I just realized I had too much money to die without a will and I don't want to live like a vegetable. It's all my choice, not a hospital system. You don't like these decisions, you do you and document your own plan. Death happens to us all. If you don't like how somebody else did their death, document your own preferences. If you want to live unable to lift a spoon to mouth, unable to walk, confined to a bed, not knowing what year it is, that's okay. Just hope you don't marry somebody like me without an advanced care plan! I would pull your plug under those circumstances. I'd cry, but I would do it if I didn't know what you wanted. Sounds like you wouldn't want that... Ignoring a 100% guaranteed thing in your future because it's uncomfortable to think and talk about is irresponsible in some regard.

frereubu 8y ago

This is a very important point, whichever choice you make in advance. My father was in a similar situation after a large stroke, a decline into pneumonia, and was clearly not going to survive. He'd made his wishes clear in advance so we felt untroubled by this course of action. The fact that he essentially starved and dehydrated to death was what we knew he wanted given the other options. He was under constant medical supervision to make sure it was as painless as possible, rather than struggling on through what he would have thought was a pointlessly drawn-out and painful death. Make sure the people close to you know what you want. You may not get a chance to express your wishes at the time, and taking the burden of that choice off the people you leave behind will be greatly appreciated, however awkward and difficult the initial conversation is.

aaron695 8y ago

> If that treatment plan disturbs you, have you made your advanced directive plan so that the same thing doesn't happen to you? OPs statement as I read it, their grandmother fully chose the best option she thought she had at the time and it disturbed OP, so not sure of the point about pre-choosing. I guess perhaps to say, they would prefer not to be killed just because there isn't a decent shot? I'd prefer a hospital system that didn't do that, but I guess until we get one maybe it might be needed. And as always, rather than planing for death, what about planning for life. Work on the thing in your life that might cause the issue in the first place. Planning for death is giving up in some regard.

rabboRubble 8y ago
> Planning for death is giving up in some regard. I'm in my 40s and have a full estate plan including a will & trust, technical recovery how-to's, and my advanced care directives documented. If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, I don't want a) my estate drained for bullshit care that won't fix me, b) or the people caring for me and executing my post-death instructions burdened unnecessarily. If I am a vegetable and the spark that makes me, me is gone, pull the plug. If I don't have the mental ability to ask for food or water, pull the plug. If I am in so much pain I am out of my mind, bring on the opiates and large doses please. I haven't given up and I have no plans to die any time soon. I just realized I had too much money to die without a will and I don't want to live like a vegetable. It's all my choice, not a hospital system. You don't like these decisions, you do you and document your own plan. Death happens to us all. If you don't like how somebody else did their death, document your own preferences. If you want to live unable to lift a spoon to mouth, unable to walk, confined to a bed, not knowing what year it is, that's okay. Just hope you don't marry somebody like me without an advanced care plan! I would pull your plug under those circumstances. I'd cry, but I would do it if I didn't know what you wanted. Sounds like you wouldn't want that... Ignoring a 100% guaranteed thing in your future because it's uncomfortable to think and talk about is irresponsible in some regard.