I feel the same way. I've been getting better, though, and I don't mean getting better by reading more technical literature, listening to more podcasts, and do

I feel the same way. I've been getting better, though, and I don't mean getting better by reading more technical literature, listening to more podcasts, and doing more programming in my free time. Instead I mean accepting the fact that I simply don't enjoy those things and the way forward is to let go of the shame I feel for not liking them. There are plenty of things I do want to do in my free time, and I'm going to do those things. Every once in a while that thing is reading something technical or writing a program. In fact, I find that I enjoy those things more often when I'm not trying to force myself to do them. I used to have quite a large stack of technical books I bought and then never read. Now the local Goodwill has them. Hopefully the next owner is someone who actually enjoys them.