9 ms·

Please listen closely, our menu options have changed

by fishbone 8y ago

ethagnawl 8y ago
That has got to be the default, right?
- fishbone 8y ago
  I swear some haven’t changed for years but they still say that, argh
thelastidiot 8y ago
>>> Please listen closely, our menu options have changed. You are missing the "as". Please listen closely, as our menu options have changed. I know it by heart and can hear the same voice over and over again in my head. Crap!
- aerique 8y ago
  >>> Please listen closely ass, our menu options have changed.
mistermann 8y ago
We are experiencing higher than normal call volume. Every. Single. Day. I would like to give executives the option to stop this or go to prison for this never ending nonsense. I think most would choose to stop.
- yellowapple 8y ago
  Relatedly, I've been flying a lot more than usual in the last couple of months. Every single flight, the boarding announcements start with something along the lines of "this plane is going to be more full than usual, so we're going to need to check some of your carry-ons". Well guess what, United? Maybe if you didn't cram passengers into the fuselage like sardines in a goddamn tin can, you'd have enough room for everyone's carry-on luggage in the bins.
  - cozzyd 8y ago
    Even if most flights are not crowded, the distribution of people on flights is probably such that if your flight preferences are distributed in the same way that people are distributed among flights, you're more likely to be on full flights. For example, say flights either had 10 or 90 people on them, with equal probability, then 90 % of people are on flights that are "more full than usual."
  - briankelly 8y ago
    I've learned that storage is rarely the issue - they do this to reduce boarding time to stay on schedule. I often board later in the line and there is still plenty of space. Really they should just ban carry-on rollers for non-elderly, able people, they're the ones people spend ages trying to jam in.
    - Sohcahtoa82 8y ago
      > Really they should just ban carry-on rollers for non-elderly, able people, they're the ones people spend ages trying to jam in. I would agree, but they charge for checked bags.
- julianj 8y ago
  Executives should go to prison for not staffing call centers properly?
  - scrollaway 8y ago
    I think what the parent poster meant is that there is a criminal element to wasting your customers' time on purpose in order to discourage them from, for example, cancelling a service. There are laws around this in other areas, it's not unprecedented.
  - buckminster 8y ago
    No. For lying to their customers.
    - mistermann 8y ago
      Correct.
- FireBeyond 8y ago
  At some point, when it happens day in, day out, day or night, doesn't it become the new normal call volume?
  - scrollaway 8y ago
    I just assume that they put this in regardless to get some amount of people to think "Oh well I better send an email instead...". Emails are cheaper to deal with. And in emails they put in "We're experiencing a higher-than-usual volume of support requests and we encourage you to look at the FAQ instead". Every. Damn. Time.
    - Sohcahtoa82 8y ago
      > And in emails they put in "We're experiencing a higher-than-usual volume of support requests and we encourage you to look at the FAQ instead". To be fair, you wouldn't believe the number of people that will send a request to support before looking at the FAQ when the item (and resolution) is in the FAQ.
      - scrollaway 8y ago
        I would :) I also do CS for my company. I honestly believe almost nobody reads FAQs, and the presence of an item in an FAQ is a symptom of a UX failure somewhere down the line.
        mistermann 8y ago
        And the inability to find it in the FAQ is itself a failure. It seems like almost no one is even trying, no wonder we tend toward monopolies.
    - perl4ever 8y ago
      As has been pointed out in past threads, the typical HN reader probably only calls on the phone when something has failed or is unavailable on the website, but from the point of view of the call center, most of their incoming calls are going to be people who refuse to use the website for things that could in principle be easily done there. So they are always trying to cut that fraction down or automate it.
wiseleo 8y ago
Wouldn't it be nice to have that message say "Our options changed on July 1, 2018"? :)
brad_Saggy 8y ago
The most irritating automated response for me is "Did you know, you can also perform all of the self-service options on our website at www.<blahblah>.com that is b,l,a,h,b,l,a,h.com"

Please listen closely, our menu options have changed

ethagnawl 8y ago

That has got to be the default, right?

fishbone 8y ago
I swear some haven’t changed for years but they still say that, argh

thelastidiot 8y ago

>>> Please listen closely, our menu options have changed. You are missing the "as". Please listen closely, as our menu options have changed. I know it by heart and can hear the same voice over and over again in my head. Crap!

aerique 8y ago
>>> Please listen closely ass, our menu options have changed.

mistermann 8y ago

We are experiencing higher than normal call volume. Every. Single. Day. I would like to give executives the option to stop this or go to prison for this never ending nonsense. I think most would choose to stop.

yellowapple 8y ago
Relatedly, I've been flying a lot more than usual in the last couple of months. Every single flight, the boarding announcements start with something along the lines of "this plane is going to be more full than usual, so we're going to need to check some of your carry-ons". Well guess what, United? Maybe if you didn't cram passengers into the fuselage like sardines in a goddamn tin can, you'd have enough room for everyone's carry-on luggage in the bins.
- cozzyd 8y ago
  Even if most flights are not crowded, the distribution of people on flights is probably such that if your flight preferences are distributed in the same way that people are distributed among flights, you're more likely to be on full flights. For example, say flights either had 10 or 90 people on them, with equal probability, then 90 % of people are on flights that are "more full than usual."
- briankelly 8y ago
  I've learned that storage is rarely the issue - they do this to reduce boarding time to stay on schedule. I often board later in the line and there is still plenty of space. Really they should just ban carry-on rollers for non-elderly, able people, they're the ones people spend ages trying to jam in.
  - Sohcahtoa82 8y ago
    > Really they should just ban carry-on rollers for non-elderly, able people, they're the ones people spend ages trying to jam in. I would agree, but they charge for checked bags.
julianj 8y ago
Executives should go to prison for not staffing call centers properly?
- scrollaway 8y ago
  I think what the parent poster meant is that there is a criminal element to wasting your customers' time on purpose in order to discourage them from, for example, cancelling a service. There are laws around this in other areas, it's not unprecedented.
- buckminster 8y ago
  No. For lying to their customers.
  - mistermann 8y ago
    Correct.
FireBeyond 8y ago
At some point, when it happens day in, day out, day or night, doesn't it become the new normal call volume?
- scrollaway 8y ago
  I just assume that they put this in regardless to get some amount of people to think "Oh well I better send an email instead...". Emails are cheaper to deal with. And in emails they put in "We're experiencing a higher-than-usual volume of support requests and we encourage you to look at the FAQ instead". Every. Damn. Time.
  - Sohcahtoa82 8y ago
    > And in emails they put in "We're experiencing a higher-than-usual volume of support requests and we encourage you to look at the FAQ instead". To be fair, you wouldn't believe the number of people that will send a request to support before looking at the FAQ when the item (and resolution) is in the FAQ.
    - scrollaway 8y ago
      I would :) I also do CS for my company. I honestly believe almost nobody reads FAQs, and the presence of an item in an FAQ is a symptom of a UX failure somewhere down the line.
      - mistermann 8y ago
        And the inability to find it in the FAQ is itself a failure. It seems like almost no one is even trying, no wonder we tend toward monopolies.
  - perl4ever 8y ago
    As has been pointed out in past threads, the typical HN reader probably only calls on the phone when something has failed or is unavailable on the website, but from the point of view of the call center, most of their incoming calls are going to be people who refuse to use the website for things that could in principle be easily done there. So they are always trying to cut that fraction down or automate it.

wiseleo 8y ago

Wouldn't it be nice to have that message say "Our options changed on July 1, 2018"? :)

brad_Saggy 8y ago

The most irritating automated response for me is "Did you know, you can also perform all of the self-service options on our website at www.<blahblah>.com that is b,l,a,h,b,l,a,h.com"