4 ms·

I'm not in a position for any of that. We're living literally week to week, and every single hour that I'm awake I need to work. Our bills are past due and we'r

by _diyu 8y ago

I'm not in a position for any of that. We're living literally week to week, and every single hour that I'm awake I need to work. Our bills are past due and we're overdrawn $50 in the bank right now. I'm making $25/hour with this one client, and it's barely enough for the life we have. I would downsize our lifestyle if I knew how but we can't even afford to move to a cheaper city. As it is right now, the only choice I have right now is to just work on this client project every hour that I'm awake, and sleep no more than 7-8 hours per night.

DoreenMichele 8y ago
I'm sure you will take this as argumentative, which isn't really my intent, but, other than the hot bath part, I did all that while homeless. If you get access to any food at all, you can work on eating better by educating yourself about nutrition. I'm author of the San Diego Homeless Survival Guide and Pocket Puter: https://sandiegohomelesssurvivalguide.blogspot.com/ https://sandiegohomelesssurvivalguide.blogspot.com/ https://www.pocketputer.com/ https://www.pocketputer.com/ Best of luck.
- _sdegutis 8y ago
  The thing about being homeless is that you have a lot of time. I had a lot of time while in jail too. I exercised 2 hours a day and ate healthy and felt great physically. If I spend any time exercising or taking a walk or spend my time doing anything other than working every waking minute, my wife and kids will be homeless.
  - DoreenMichele 8y ago
    In jail, you had a guaranteed roof over your head and a meal coming to you. Homeless people have been known to commit crimes to get that deal. Please don't talk trash to me about what it means to be homeless. In addition to having spent time on the street, I have also had a college class on homelessness and public policy and also interned at a homeless shelter (years before I ended up homeless). You say you don't have time to do anything but work, yet here you are on HN a) asking for assistance and b) wasting time arguing with me about things you know nothing about. Some things for you to think about (privately -- I am not looking for answers from you here): Why isn't your wife working? (Assuming you are in the US) Have you called 211 to find out what local resources there are to help your family out? If you have called 211 and they have nothing to offer you, have you called all your local churches to find out what meal and other food resources they have to offer? I'm getting rather angry about how you reply to me, so I think I need to just stop here, let this go and let someone else help you. Best of luck.
    - _sdegutis 8y ago
      I'm not talking trash. You and I have had different experiences with poverty. I meant that if I was homeless, I'd have more time like I did in jail. And I only meant that in contrast to how right now I have no time. Technically I should be working right now, but I came here to ask for help thinking it might save me a few hours of frustrating non-billable time spent staring at code and not getting it. We have looked into every single possible resource. My wife has a disability that's incredibly difficult to prove with insurance or the government. It makes her unable to move for large parts of the day several times per month. She literally drops things and is unsafe to drive, and it just randomly comes on out of nowhere. So she's unable to work because of this, and we're unable to get disability for it either. We've gone through every single local church and food bank. She just stopped at the food pantry yesterday. We are on food stamps. I'm saying all this knowing that it's a waste of billable time, because I think it's important that you know that first of all I don't mean any offense, and second of all that I'm not exaggerating when I say that we really have no other recourse at this point.
  - anigbrowl 8y ago
    Your productivity schedule is why you're not able to learn - it's like wanting to build muscle before digesting the food. Study the system a bit, then go and exercise for half an hour, which is billable time because you'll be thinking about what you studied while doing a couple hundred mindless reps. If you can solve the problem away from the screen and keyboard, and then come back and just input your solution, it's work. You're being paid to think, not for how often you push buttons. From personal experience it sounds like you're in a very self-destructive pattern that it going to result in collapse from a combination of illness and stress. Not performing any self-care means you are running up a bill that someone else is going to have to settle if you fail.
  - ScottBurson 8y ago
    > [earlier] while I may work 12 hours in a day, I only get maybe 6-8 hours out of this work that I can actually justify billing for > If I spend any time exercising or taking a walk or spend my time doing anything other than working every waking minute, my wife and kids will be homeless. These two statements do not seem consistent with each other. If 4 - 6 hours of your work day is wasted anyway, you might as well spend at least some of that doing things to make yourself more productive.
tbabb 8y ago
Something doesn't add up. Assuming "working every hour you're awake" means something like 12 hours/day 6 days a week, that'd be a $90k/yr salary at your stated rate of $25/hr. A more realistic (but still severe) schedule of 10hrs/day 6 days a week would be $75k/yr-- even in an expensive city, far from the brink of homelessness. Am I overestimating how much you're working? Or is the income being consumed by something?
- noddy666 8y ago
  Cocaine
- _diyu 8y ago
  I've only been a consultant for 2 months, and the reason I say every waking hour is because we are only just now getting caught up with bills, but we're still pretty far from being stable, and this weighs heavily on my concentration, so while I may work 12 hours in a day, I only get maybe 6-8 hours out of this work that I can actually justify billing for, because the rest of it was just spent staring at a screen and not really knowing what to do. And besides that, I have several children who need at least some of my help and attention throughout the day, and my wife who needs my help with them. So there goes another 2-4 hours. So even though I'm trying to get to a computer and type stuff in to count for billable hours throughout the day, this or that kid comes in needing something, or it's suddenly lunch or dinner time, or like basically everything breaks up the day and ruins any productive flow I could get into.
  - nik736 8y ago
    Talk to your wife and kids about it. You close the door and work, if it's closed they should not interrupt you and if you open it they know they can talk to you. I think your problem is that you don't get shit done because you get interrupted so often and than know exactly that you aren't making any progess and go straight into panic mode. Start with step 1: close the door and start working.
  - tbabb 8y ago
    It sounds like you need to manage your time, including making time to take care of your life, especially if you're spending handfuls of hours every day simply stressing. If that time is going to be not-work, then it might as well be time spent managing your life and your future. If you can convert three hours of "sitting and stressing" time to two hours of "self and family-care" and one hour of "productive work", then that is an increase of productivity and pay. Also, as others have mentioned, reading and learning a system is billable time. Programming is thinking, not pushing buttons. (Staring off into space or stressing or distracting yourself with social media is not, however). It would probably do you well to find a way to clearly separate work and life time/space. Work in a library or a coffee shop away from distractions, and set aside time during the day to be focusing on work and work alone. Take responsibility for controlling what you spend your time doing.
noir_lord 8y ago
Not that you can do anything about it right now (understandably) but when you can you might want to look hard at diversifying your customer base - Having a single client who you absolutely need to stay a float puts you in a very risky position (take it from someone who did exactly that a couple of years ago and it nearly finished me off - I hit insane hours of work per week and my health went to shit at the same time, while the amount of work didn't cause most of that (not much you can do about a spinal issue I'd had since birth)). In the end I just said fuck it and looked for a full time job, I took a pay cut in terms of hourly rate but when you average everything out across lean and fat times I'm only about 20% down over a year for working 37.5hrs instead of 60+ every week, week in week out. I'm a year into that now and mentally I'm in a much better situation than a year ago but it's taken nearly the entire year to get even close to feeling 'normal' again. In terms of learning stuff quickly, change you scenery - Go read the documentation on a laptop in a coffee shop instead of at home (or a local library if money is really that tight) :- When I really need to grok something I get out the house and do it, two cats and the boy makes it hard at home.
potta_coffee 8y ago
I was in the same boat, I was floating via a single big client and the situation was no good. I don't have the health issues you have, so maybe it was easier, but I hit the job application process hard and found something. The interview process was extremely stressful and difficult and I really wanted to give up, but things turned out well in the end. It sounds like you've got skills to offer and there's allegedly a shortage of good developers out there. Maybe you could job search in a lower competition area?
- _sdegutis 8y ago
  I went job hunting for the past 8 months and got 30 jobs and all of them rescinded their offers because my reputation is radioactive. So I would love to get a full time job. But it's not my path right now unfortunately. I would absolutely love that though.
  - potta_coffee 8y ago
    Ouch. Is there a way to rehab your rep?
    - _sdegutis 8y ago
      No. Even without background checks, every employer ends up googling my name when I get hired, and rescinds the offer 100% of the time. My only hope of being a professional programmer is to do contracting with people who give second chances. I had two clients who have done that, but one cut off contact with me. So I have one client. No way to expand that.
Chyzwar 8y ago
Sleep more, memory works better if you sleep longer. Exercise a bit and start working on your mental/physical health. Downsize your spending, get rid of expensive mobile plans, subscriptions for stuff like Netflix. Get cheaper house/apartment, learn how to cook. Work on your confidence. Attend local meetups and talk with people. Chill out and stop whining. There plenty of people that would swap places with you. You are a healthy white male with a family living in the US.

by _diyu 8y ago

DoreenMichele 8y ago

I'm sure you will take this as argumentative, which isn't really my intent, but, other than the hot bath part, I did all that while homeless. If you get access to any food at all, you can work on eating better by educating yourself about nutrition. I'm author of the San Diego Homeless Survival Guide and Pocket Puter: https://sandiegohomelesssurvivalguide.blogspot.com/ https://sandiegohomelesssurvivalguide.blogspot.com/ https://www.pocketputer.com/ https://www.pocketputer.com/ Best of luck.

_sdegutis 8y ago
The thing about being homeless is that you have a lot of time. I had a lot of time while in jail too. I exercised 2 hours a day and ate healthy and felt great physically. If I spend any time exercising or taking a walk or spend my time doing anything other than working every waking minute, my wife and kids will be homeless.
- DoreenMichele 8y ago
  In jail, you had a guaranteed roof over your head and a meal coming to you. Homeless people have been known to commit crimes to get that deal. Please don't talk trash to me about what it means to be homeless. In addition to having spent time on the street, I have also had a college class on homelessness and public policy and also interned at a homeless shelter (years before I ended up homeless). You say you don't have time to do anything but work, yet here you are on HN a) asking for assistance and b) wasting time arguing with me about things you know nothing about. Some things for you to think about (privately -- I am not looking for answers from you here): Why isn't your wife working? (Assuming you are in the US) Have you called 211 to find out what local resources there are to help your family out? If you have called 211 and they have nothing to offer you, have you called all your local churches to find out what meal and other food resources they have to offer? I'm getting rather angry about how you reply to me, so I think I need to just stop here, let this go and let someone else help you. Best of luck.
  - _sdegutis 8y ago
    I'm not talking trash. You and I have had different experiences with poverty. I meant that if I was homeless, I'd have more time like I did in jail. And I only meant that in contrast to how right now I have no time. Technically I should be working right now, but I came here to ask for help thinking it might save me a few hours of frustrating non-billable time spent staring at code and not getting it. We have looked into every single possible resource. My wife has a disability that's incredibly difficult to prove with insurance or the government. It makes her unable to move for large parts of the day several times per month. She literally drops things and is unsafe to drive, and it just randomly comes on out of nowhere. So she's unable to work because of this, and we're unable to get disability for it either. We've gone through every single local church and food bank. She just stopped at the food pantry yesterday. We are on food stamps. I'm saying all this knowing that it's a waste of billable time, because I think it's important that you know that first of all I don't mean any offense, and second of all that I'm not exaggerating when I say that we really have no other recourse at this point.
- anigbrowl 8y ago
  Your productivity schedule is why you're not able to learn - it's like wanting to build muscle before digesting the food. Study the system a bit, then go and exercise for half an hour, which is billable time because you'll be thinking about what you studied while doing a couple hundred mindless reps. If you can solve the problem away from the screen and keyboard, and then come back and just input your solution, it's work. You're being paid to think, not for how often you push buttons. From personal experience it sounds like you're in a very self-destructive pattern that it going to result in collapse from a combination of illness and stress. Not performing any self-care means you are running up a bill that someone else is going to have to settle if you fail.
- ScottBurson 8y ago
  > [earlier] while I may work 12 hours in a day, I only get maybe 6-8 hours out of this work that I can actually justify billing for > If I spend any time exercising or taking a walk or spend my time doing anything other than working every waking minute, my wife and kids will be homeless. These two statements do not seem consistent with each other. If 4 - 6 hours of your work day is wasted anyway, you might as well spend at least some of that doing things to make yourself more productive.

tbabb 8y ago

Something doesn't add up. Assuming "working every hour you're awake" means something like 12 hours/day 6 days a week, that'd be a $90k/yr salary at your stated rate of $25/hr. A more realistic (but still severe) schedule of 10hrs/day 6 days a week would be $75k/yr-- even in an expensive city, far from the brink of homelessness. Am I overestimating how much you're working? Or is the income being consumed by something?

noddy666 8y ago
Cocaine
_diyu 8y ago
I've only been a consultant for 2 months, and the reason I say every waking hour is because we are only just now getting caught up with bills, but we're still pretty far from being stable, and this weighs heavily on my concentration, so while I may work 12 hours in a day, I only get maybe 6-8 hours out of this work that I can actually justify billing for, because the rest of it was just spent staring at a screen and not really knowing what to do. And besides that, I have several children who need at least some of my help and attention throughout the day, and my wife who needs my help with them. So there goes another 2-4 hours. So even though I'm trying to get to a computer and type stuff in to count for billable hours throughout the day, this or that kid comes in needing something, or it's suddenly lunch or dinner time, or like basically everything breaks up the day and ruins any productive flow I could get into.
- nik736 8y ago
  Talk to your wife and kids about it. You close the door and work, if it's closed they should not interrupt you and if you open it they know they can talk to you. I think your problem is that you don't get shit done because you get interrupted so often and than know exactly that you aren't making any progess and go straight into panic mode. Start with step 1: close the door and start working.
- tbabb 8y ago
  It sounds like you need to manage your time, including making time to take care of your life, especially if you're spending handfuls of hours every day simply stressing. If that time is going to be not-work, then it might as well be time spent managing your life and your future. If you can convert three hours of "sitting and stressing" time to two hours of "self and family-care" and one hour of "productive work", then that is an increase of productivity and pay. Also, as others have mentioned, reading and learning a system is billable time. Programming is thinking, not pushing buttons. (Staring off into space or stressing or distracting yourself with social media is not, however). It would probably do you well to find a way to clearly separate work and life time/space. Work in a library or a coffee shop away from distractions, and set aside time during the day to be focusing on work and work alone. Take responsibility for controlling what you spend your time doing.

noir_lord 8y ago

Not that you can do anything about it right now (understandably) but when you can you might want to look hard at diversifying your customer base - Having a single client who you absolutely need to stay a float puts you in a very risky position (take it from someone who did exactly that a couple of years ago and it nearly finished me off - I hit insane hours of work per week and my health went to shit at the same time, while the amount of work didn't cause most of that (not much you can do about a spinal issue I'd had since birth)). In the end I just said fuck it and looked for a full time job, I took a pay cut in terms of hourly rate but when you average everything out across lean and fat times I'm only about 20% down over a year for working 37.5hrs instead of 60+ every week, week in week out. I'm a year into that now and mentally I'm in a much better situation than a year ago but it's taken nearly the entire year to get even close to feeling 'normal' again. In terms of learning stuff quickly, change you scenery - Go read the documentation on a laptop in a coffee shop instead of at home (or a local library if money is really that tight) :- When I really need to grok something I get out the house and do it, two cats and the boy makes it hard at home.

potta_coffee 8y ago

I was in the same boat, I was floating via a single big client and the situation was no good. I don't have the health issues you have, so maybe it was easier, but I hit the job application process hard and found something. The interview process was extremely stressful and difficult and I really wanted to give up, but things turned out well in the end. It sounds like you've got skills to offer and there's allegedly a shortage of good developers out there. Maybe you could job search in a lower competition area?

_sdegutis 8y ago
I went job hunting for the past 8 months and got 30 jobs and all of them rescinded their offers because my reputation is radioactive. So I would love to get a full time job. But it's not my path right now unfortunately. I would absolutely love that though.
- potta_coffee 8y ago
  Ouch. Is there a way to rehab your rep?
  - _sdegutis 8y ago
    No. Even without background checks, every employer ends up googling my name when I get hired, and rescinds the offer 100% of the time. My only hope of being a professional programmer is to do contracting with people who give second chances. I had two clients who have done that, but one cut off contact with me. So I have one client. No way to expand that.

Chyzwar 8y ago

Sleep more, memory works better if you sleep longer. Exercise a bit and start working on your mental/physical health. Downsize your spending, get rid of expensive mobile plans, subscriptions for stuff like Netflix. Get cheaper house/apartment, learn how to cook. Work on your confidence. Attend local meetups and talk with people. Chill out and stop whining. There plenty of people that would swap places with you. You are a healthy white male with a family living in the US.